new year..new resolution?

tomorrow will be the last day of 2009.. hopefully new year will bring a lot of joys for us..n yang paling utama biarla keberkatan menjadi pedoman hidup..waima dalam melakukan pe pun..

regards,
a.l

ujan, payung dan seseorg itew..

sy selalu mengharapkan seseorg memayungi sy tatkala ujan lebat.. hurm..yer sy sebenarnya boleh memayungi diri sendiri tapi sgt malas melakukannya bila seseorg itew berada berdekatan. tapi satu ketika waktu ujan  renyai seseorg itew terlupa membawa payung utk sy n dia terlupa sebenarnya sy sedang kehujanan. sy menunggu begitu lama tp die ttp xmuncul2. sy sgt sedey sbb sy sgt mengharapkan kehadiran seseorg itew di waktu sy kehujanan. sy harap sgt jika die terlupa membawa payung utk sy sekurg2nye die akan dtg dan berjln bersame2 meredah ujan.. tp die ttp xdtg..

yer..ujan itew xlebat..tp jika meredahnya tanpa payung atau baju ujan sy tetap akan basah bila smpi di umah.. bila seseorg itew tidak dtg, selepas seketika sy menunggu sy mula jalan perlahan2..smbil memandang ke belakang dgn kerap dgn harapan seseorg itew muncul..(with a warmth smile perhaps!) tp tiapkali jua sy hampa bila die tiada.. jd sy berhenti memandang ke belakang n mula langkah dgn sedikit laju.. di setiap langkah minda sy mulai berfikir dgn logik n waras.. alangkah baiknya jika ketika itu sy mempunyai payung sdiri..sy pasti xkan kebasahan, n mungkin esok sy xkn selsema. jika sy xmengharap payung seseorg sy mungkin xpatah hati bila seseorg itew terlupa memayungi sy.. n jika sy xtunggu seseorg itew mungkin ketika ini sy telah pun smpi dgn selesa di umah.. ye..sy sedar sy membazir ms menunggu seseorg itew tp itu telah pun sy lakukan n sy xkan dpt putarkan ms yg telah terbazir selama sy menunggu.. tp sy xmenyesal sbb sy xmungkin dpt menunggu seseorg yg lain utk memayungi sbb sy penat utk memilih payung lain (walaupun coraknyer comel n berkaler purple...ke?)

smpi di umah sy telah pun membuat keputusan yg sy xkan lg mengharapkan seseorg itew dtg memayungi sy xkira la cuaca ape pun.. sy harus membawa payung sdiri utk kesenangan sy jua.. di kala ati sy telah ttp pendirian sebegitu seseorg itew telah memberikan payungnya n berharap walaupun die terlupa atau sgaje lupa .. payung nya dpt sy gunakan waktu sy ujan atau panas.. hurm.. sy telah konpius dgn pendirian sy n kebaikan seseorg itew memberikan payungnyer..

::ever after??::

/hihi

it's quite raining lately.. n here too in my tiny little heart. but the rain was totally different from the real world. sometimes it's raining heavily but sometimes it's cloudy but never the shine.. apparently i'm could see the sparkle of light.. since i'd give up hope i feel much better in life we always wanted the best for us doesnt matter if we worth it or not. the important thing is we MUST been better than anyone around us then we could be proud of what we had achieved.

it's like a big tree which grew taller everyday and prevent the light from other trees. the tree must be tall enough to produce a lot of fruit and be the one which could expose itself. but the tree often forgot those small plants which grew slowly under it's shadow are alive too and hardly survive on the ground. but who cares? my life's is crucial than anybody else and cant everybody see that the one who lead the hard life is me, the big tree? i need ppl to water me, give me damn good fertilizer n take a gud care of me.. owh big tree..yes u r the one who everyone keep talking about, the goddess tree of all..u provide shelter to ppl and give them delicious food for them.. n no one cant deny it..

but for me.. it doesnt matter if i'm not the big tree n i prefer to be the small creeping plant that survives on my own feet. n i'm proud of it even my life's little harsh right now but it's ok..that's what makes me a human being. owh about my cloudy conscious.. well it's about to shine again slowly but surely.. time will heals n need a lot of determination too.. /please

/bye

cik single yang kiut miut /blush

utk diri sendiri (^_^)

/hihi

it's been 2 days now i came early to lab and tried to finish my writing .. due to my new resolution perhaps..haha.. well..i decided not to have any holidays as i HAVE to finish this precious thesis b4 new year.. i dont know about other ppl but 4 me it's a must!! (sgt bertegas dlm hal ini ) besides, i didnt have any plan to entertain myself..apart from attending numbers of wedding n engagement ceremony (hikhik..it's a ceremony as long as there are lots of food..yeay! ) n team bachelor-bachelorette pun ade plan pas new year.. makna bulan ni bulan bekoje la kan

k la..ckit je nk merapu..sbb nk siapkan keje n hopefully can go back b4 5pm..sbb xnk jem kt hway t.. hway pon jem kan..hazab!

 /bye

Cik Single yang kiut miut

all's well, end well..ke?

/hihi i watched New Moon yesterday! yeay! n the movie was totally awesome! n cant wait 2 see another twilight movies. n i admit that when i 1st read new moon novel..i was like soooooo unsatisfied with jacob..( i was alwiz on Edward Cullen's side..hikhik..) but then when i watched the movie, i kinda like how sweet he was, stayed with Bella thru her broken-hearted phase.. (n Edward looked so awkward with messy style --> on 2nd thought cm drug addict je aku tgk.. /hmm sal lak ms 1st muvee die sgt la ensem) i juz loooveee the movie n dont care what ppl might say bout it.. i like the sounds of those gorgeous werewolf, the desperate-broke-up between Ed n Bell (n when they're reunite /blush absolutely -cant forget those beautiful red eyes of Jane a.k.a Dakota), sooo into Bell when she did cliff-jumping (that's so amazing /blur ) n the sweet Alice who really walk gracefully..(in spite of she's the shortest in the family /nobigdeal - she's still the cutest 1..hikhik.. so now u know who i like the most in Cullen's family /wahaha)

opps...i almost forgot to start modify my thesis..n mind u my SV had already asked for it about 2,3 weeks ago../sweat n this morning got another email from her that remind me to submit the results A.S.A.P /no.. I'm so in trouble when i didnt proceed my task but keep blogging as the excitement of watching New Moon really get me an adrenalin rush /wahaha.. k la.. till i have another ideas ~ chau!

 

/bye

Cik Single yg kiut miut /blush

 

uncertainty

 /hihi it's 1st dec 2009.. n previous years back..at this particular tender time..all i would do is get my diary n re-read it back (juz cant wait till new year 2 read it la kan =p) but not this year...writing my life in a beautiful book so-called diary seems like a history. but i do keep my old diaries from upper 2ndary school when i was @ mrsm muar which was like what..2-3 years ago (huh..sigh! what can i say i'm still stuck in my 18-year-old mind n soul =p) as i'm the one who tend to forget things that happened to me so i find it hard to remember what i felt at the exact time..haha..maybe that's one gud reason why i stop writing in my diary.. but next year resolution maybe.. MAYBE i'll write it back but who knows there might be another gud reason 4 me to not make the resolution comes true../wahaha

xde pe la yg menarik sgt bg cik single kot thn ni..juz perasaan berkobar2 utk abeskan master n masuk ke alam lain..(bukan alam barzakh la.. /sweat..tp ne la tau kan..:-s) disbbkan semangat yg berkobar2 2la cik single sedang menyiapkan tesis cik single ni yg da hmpir2 jd projek gajah putih dulu :D tp seperti bese la ttp nan ado /hmm hajat di hati nk la bercoti lame b4 new year (sbb puan SV akn blk ke msia bulan jan t /floor ) sbb 2 nk cpt2 tulis tesis..hikhik.. byk sgt plan next year tau termasukla nk traveling ke pulau2 berhampiran..mungkin ms itew cik single ni akan ditemani dgn dslr yg sgt2 cik single berkenan di hati /blush.. mungkinkah hasrat cik single ni akn tercapai? same2 la kite nnt kan yer..:))

okies la..gtg 1st..nk taip tesis lak ni..wis me lak yer..

/bye
Cik single yg kiut miut /blush

2 kinds of men

hye! it's morning n a cold 1 especially with the combination of raining n well-operated air-cond..hikhik.. i was driving from my hometown this morning when i was "meet-up" by 2 kinds of men.. yup..the heart-cold 1 n the sweetest 1..(^_^) as i was driving thru seremban r & r in 2nd lane suddenly there was a "wira"  MA* 9985 came juz beside me about a few inches with a high speed..i was so shock luckily i managed to remain calm so that i didnt lose control of my car n terbabas on the other lane..huh! relieved..that was a close one.. n that guy..juz as rude n reckless he was..juz smiling! maybe he'll be glade if i get crash n gambling my life out there on the road..

then..i'd continue my journey with a good heart rate.. with a speed of 90-95km/j..(in spite of 120-140kmj i'd usuallly do =p hey! who doesnt at the highway!) left for bangi sign n i noticed there was a honda JLE 141 n the driver is a man (with a woman beside) i gave that car a way as he seemed 2 hurry..n he waved me after that about 2,3 times.. n i smiled..=) (well..i didnt dare 2 wave back as i thought maybe he wasnt wave at me) haha..isnt that sweet? haha..i dont know whether he's young or old..but as long as u're good 2 anybody.. u r beautiful..=)

::jaket biru::

i have a jacket..it's blue n made of jeans..n i used to wear it in my lab whenever i felt so itchy cold..it was a gift from sum1 that damn special to me..n still.. lately..ever since i'd transfer to another place (still @ inbio) i didnt wear it anymore.. not even touch it as it's kinda warm here.. until today..suddenly i felt so so cold.. n i grabbed the jacket n wore it.. n for a moment my hand trembling..(exception to my thyroid problem) feels like i'm facing with my old-love-story again.. n right now sumthg keep wandering in my head.. it's like sumthg we thought we could never live without..we put a lot of trust, hope..to ensure that precious still ours..but as the time goes by.. eventually we know..we actually can live with or without that particular thing.. it's just a matter of could we or couldnt stand up for our own sake..

n as for me..i knew how much i like my blue jeans jacket..n sumtimes i need it to when i cant stand the cold..but in another time i dont need it.. sumtimes what i need is..myself

pak gad terlampau..

sowi ppl..lately xde gmbo menarik utk post aku.. well..this week adelah 1 hari yg bg aku evertyhing went wrong..n lately kt U** ni mcm2 la undang2 br diperkenalkan.. tp byk2 aku xthn sal sticker yg wajib dibeli tp bile g kaunter nk beli katanye mggu dpn br amek. da mcm mane? kalo cm2 baek LEPAS ade sticker br la adekan sekatan ke, saman ke, clamp ke..pe ke.. mcm alasan je nk saman2 ni bile xde sticker..

lagi satu sal sistem park n ride yg pada asalnyer..SEMUA WRGA U** patut tgglkan keta kt luo pas2 amek bas g la ner2 yg disukai..tp sebaliknye...STUDENT yg kene..ala,,aku rs sbnrnyer tujuan 2 utk bg parking utk staff.. kalo cenggitu aku rs baek tulis rules yg STUDENT TIDAK DIBENARKAN BAWA KENDERAAN BERMOTOR.. bio sume naek beskal je..kan senang..hahahaha

seruan hatiku..(ecececeh..jiwang lak =p)

Hanya padamu...
Diri ini hanya milikmu
Datanglah dekat
Air mataku mengalir
Mengharapkan mu

Hanya padamu...
Dan jiwaku padamu
Wahai kasihku usia kita,usiaku
Seluruh hidupku untukmu

Cintamu adalah hayatku
Dirimu buat kita bercinta sebenar2 cinta
Hatiku disini, keindahanmu millikku
Jadi bersatu

Hatiku memanggil
Harapkan engkau sentiasa kekal
Hanya dirimu
Selepas bertahun lihatlah sayang
Kita berjumpa di sini dan bersama
Airmataku mengalir keranamu
Engkaulah kekasih, hidupku hanya untukmu
Seluruh hidupku, usiaku..
Kerna matamu, aku serahkan segalanya

Apa yang daku harapkan
Indahnya kau disisi bersamaku selamanya
Katakanlah kepadaku..
Diri ini..sekian lama mengharapkan
Hati ini, perasaan ini
Bersama hati dan perasaanmu

(credit 2 De' InFoMiC oF ELAKSAMANA)

hihi..layout yg santek..ske la kt blog terbaru ni..blog yg lame bakal aku delete xlame lagi.. lagu seruan hatiku 2 akceli dlm bahasa arab..but then aku dgr cm best la plak kn..ni sume cik Z yg ajar aku dgr lagu2 pak arab ni..k la..ade final report yg perlu aku setel kan dlm minggu ni..pas2 another 1 manuscript to be write..hopefully all this hustle n hectic life i'll get thru

::bersawang::

humaih..agak bersawang ckit blog aku ni..lama gak xupdate.. ekceli byk jer nk crita but then mls nk menaip..maen fesbuk lg sonok.. nothing much 2 write..juz want 2 inform that i'd finally found my happiness n yet it will leads 2 my destination eventually (sorry guys..it's not about work..still looking 4 it) i'll story later about that happines..till then..chill!!

from T's wedding, D's engagement, till my dearest Queen Bee's anniversary (a.k.a Comel-whatmymumcalledit)..++ Z's emergency call..n Slmt berpose..hehehe

yeay! berjaye mencipta tajuk yg pnjang utk post kali ni..k la..meh kite recall ape yg terjadi pd sy beberapa ari yg lepas di bulan ogos..ngehngehngeh..

08-08-09

it's T's wedding ( n she's so pretty on that special day of her ~ in spite of she alwiz that damn beauty..haha) well..we'd arrived pretty late that day..around 2p.m.. (abah da usik2 da sal lauk da abes..ceh..trus aku msg S xnk g..majok..haha) however..g gak together with R n S..haha..suprisingly, my BF yg da kawen (previous post)dgn hubby die ade same (nmpk sgt umah plg dekat dtg lmbt gak dgn kami yg jauh ni huhu..sbnrnye kami sesat..g slh tmpt sbb kt ag ade 2 dewan..huhuhu) xlame la g jmp pgantin sbb da kul 2 kan..pas pgantin mkn (ala..dorg xbrp nk mkn pon..sbb aku tgk dr kejauhan 2,3 suap utk bgambo trus dorg g pelamin amek gmbo blk..) kami g jmp pgantin..slm2..amek gmbo ckit pas 2 blah g umah kwn sorg lg 2ng..(xde gmbo nk tnjuk sbb hanset ku rosak.. kapankah ku dpt henset br..??

then g lak umah D..mkn lg..punyelah lame kat lepak umah die..D ni sum1 yg sgt low-profile..dr zaman sekolah dulu..aku dgn die semeje ms amek subjek KH bhgian KMT ..kami ber6 je puan ms 2 yg amek subjek ni.. D is sum1 yg xske nk heboh2 sal pakwe die (cm certain ppl yg anggap pakwe 2 sgt2 mulie..ntahapeapetah) n xde la nk war2  nk kawen cmner, nk 2ng cmner..juz simple jer org nyer..(cant wait to meet her on her special day next year..hehe..D-we're gonna berkmpung kt umah ko..yg sekentut jer dr umah haku )

14-08-09

it's Comel's Bday..(hurm kene pggl my Bee this name after this coz my mum like it )almost a year she wit me..n i'm fond with it... this raya i'll buy u sumtg purple k..haha.. (soo in love with her..my MBR..)

last week

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="no-matter"][/caption]

felt sorry 4 Z.. her "hubby-2-b" is encountered with an xcident..n so sad when she kept crying all nite n cant sleep at all..(luckily she had her dinner b4 the news..) n 4 being a gud sis (at all ) i told her 2 go back 2 kuantan to look after her "abg.." hurm..i'm good whenever give advices or ideas to ppl who had same situation with myself..but when it comes to my own problem..no-can-do anythg..(hurm..who's luckier than me..? complex-yet-weird reasons to answer that "gold" ques..when i want 2 settle down..) well u drama queen..u win.. i'd surrender..now u dont have 2 b afraid i might get married 1st b4 u..no i dont..even 5 years 2 come i'm still single..now u n ur "perfect abg" can plan ur wed without being afraid sum1 would be greater and more perfect than ur relationship or wedding.. go on..have fun..

24-08-09 (today!)

hari ke 3 berpose..opps..ok terlongkang b4 this..k la..slmt berpose n smoga pose ni dpt memperbaiki ibadat2 kite sblm ni..(hurm..skrg da leh beribadat dgn lebeh selesa bile xde lg org yg ske tru2 dpn mate..huhu) thank u God...

through sleepless nites..sigh!

Insomnia is a symptom of any of several sleep disorder, characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. Insomnia is a symptom, not a stand-alone diagnosis or a disease. By definition, insomnia is "difficulty initiating or maintaining sleep, or both" and it may be due to inadequate quality or quantity of sleep. It is typically followed by functional impairment while awake. Both organic and non-organic insomnia without other cause constitute a sleep disorder, primary insomnia.(source : wikipedia)

[caption id="attachment_289" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="'m becoming in a few days..presumably..ke?"][/caption]

gess..i thought i was sleeping, but i havent got any dreams, n i didnt feel like sleeping when i woke up..like i'm juz laying, hugging patrick n..blur..!! m i thinking 2 much or 2 deep? na-ah.. i tried counting sheeps, saying my name times n times again, reciting prayers , thinking of mr. z (hurm..no wonder xleh tdo ke ) but nothing works even there's a huggable patrick by myside!! i really mish my night sleep..where i can dream n have a gud rest .. i'm so tired, sleepy but when i try 2 sleep..puffff..everythg's seems fade away..owh! what a crap i'm talking bout.. rite now..i juz cant feel my own legs, my eyes want to close tightly eveytime they blink..xkire lg bp byk kali da mnguap.. the worst part..i dont want to eat but desperately yearning to sleep..

[caption id="attachment_291" align="aligncenter" width="280" caption="soo...tired"][/caption]

perhaps..i could get a gud sleep tonite.. i dont care i really want it!! a lot!! or else i'll become...as the picture below..haha

and so..the mean girl is back..

- 27th july 2009 (epi bday abah ;D )

it's almost August.. well that means another 4months 2 go b4 new year.. i know i didnt update my blog quite sumtimes.. i took me like forever to stare at my blog page, click 2 new post but then write nothing to it.. i presumed facing life each day is easier rather than to experience n rewrite it into a different kind of opinion..in other words - blogging it..the same things happened to my thesis.. donno where to start and eventually lost in what i'd tried to focus.. (weird!) owh..yeah..recently i had a "long-vacation"..hihi..well it's wasnt so long actually..juz taking a week off from some tasks..(i guess ;p) kind of exhausted when u have to be patient when sum1 really pissed u off, making innocent faces like it's-not-my-fault-n-i'm-the-victim-here, accusing ppl hypocrite whereas the 1 that hyper is oneself actually.. well.. me? i'll try to stop being hypocrite to myself when i will reveal anythg that i know i wont tolerate anymore in my blog..it's mine n who cares what ppl might say! owh yeah..cant wait till next week..got the feelings that it's gonna be a wonderful week ;p

-28th july 2009

i still dont understand whattheheck "us" should attend sum kind of workshop that involved lamina flow, autoclaf etc..etc.. n the worst part "we" HAVE 2 attend the demo workshop in the afternoon.. what a crap!! but the best part when it came 2 majlis penutup..i was escaped! hihi...ahh..lantak..malas aku nk melayan kerenah birokrasi kt cni, umah sewa lg..ahh..sume nye memeningkan kepala.. ;p ..wasnt a surprise when "we" get busted while "lepak"-ing kat pantri..(menyampah la..asal "kami" xde jer nk kecoh 1 bangunan.. pe ingat best sgt ke dok 1 aras dgn pengarah!! hahahaha) ntah la...xfhm aku..knp la ade manusia yg perlu tunjuk bagus, terlebih baik..(dgn laki bkn muhrim/mahram xleh dekat tp bdating dgn pakwe xpe ..ke? ), ske bersaing yg sgt la xsihat..tahapehapetah lg.. soo lame la.. n stop tunjuk muke xbersalah, pure2 baik dpn sume org...wanita lindungan kaabah kunun..walhal busuk nyer xhingat!! (opps..refer 2 bau yg kuar secara smulajadi- samada dr mulut, keti, n so on ;p)

p/s- sorry it's the mean-est part inside me that write this ;p

like a snail

adeh...3.07pm...so sloww.. time feels like crawling when u're damn bored n got nothing to do!! (in spite of  me should finish writing my manuscript..i decided not to ..) layan facebook n frenster but still buhsan gak (i noe frenster is sooooo outdated rite now..but who cares lar..) cant wait to get my ppt for kolokium siswazah back..(ez zit gonna be tonite??)hurm still wondering if she ever give it a.s.a.p..

xde koje buhsan byk keje lg la buhsan...as usual i plan my work every month..well..every 6 months actually (whether i could ever done it ----> that's a different story la wei..) yesterday i'd already print july'09 until nov'09 calendar.. but cant find any words to write on it..(xde koje da ke?) xtau la..i dont noe my status rite now (instead of single n not available la...huhu but i can be acceptable any other way ) i mean my status in c. elegans project whether the task is done or not n...should i or shouldnt i continue my contract..?? hurmm..yup..a contract worker like me really need the confirmation to continue asap or else we'll get our pay late than usual..(as we're not staff )

3.20pm..cant believe it's only 13minutes gone as i'm typing this post..

~nobody's home~

[caption id="attachment_277" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="1 is a lonely no.."][/caption]

i have to confess..after rain comes sunshine (lately KL was covering by "jerebu" so the shine was slightly unavailable..;p) terrible week after all..phew..even it wasnt me who lost the most but still traumatized me a lot.. sum1 (or perhaps a group of irresponsible yet heartless ppl) had entered our house (me n my fwens rented house) n stole everythg they could possibly grabbed within 3-4 hours approximately.. the situation was calm at first since we didnt noe the exact story (like idk so idc..) but it changed after we're noticed that couple of things were gone..(& those stuffs werent with the owner..i could say!)

immediately i got a quick goosebump! n mind u it continues everytime i enter our house.. (until this particular moment lar..) we're usually staying together like 6-7 ppl then suddenly when sum1 break into our house the aura of different person seems like haunting me (that's y i do get goosebumps without reason..kot!) ---> or perhaps..i'm that cowardly gal in the house..

right now..i'm juz telling myself to be brave all the time (even my bad habit is to frighten myself with those ghost story that i've read..hikhik..)hurm..the gud thing is when the "thing" happened nobody was at home..n that's soooo relief..

[caption id="attachment_279" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="wanna go xtra miles wit ya..;p"][/caption]

p/s - idk -i dont noe, idc - i dont care..got it..

Regards,

A. L