I AM...
I REALLY WANT TO GO TO..
MY FAV PLACE IS..
MY FAV COLOR IS..
MY FAV FOOD IS..
MY FAV DRINK..
MY ATTENDED..
MY FAV STORY..
I WAS BORN AT..
MY HOBBY IS..
I LIVE IN..
I WISH FOR..
I TAG..
I AM...
I REALLY WANT TO GO TO..
MY FAV PLACE IS..
MY FAV COLOR IS..
MY FAV FOOD IS..
MY FAV DRINK..
MY ATTENDED..
MY FAV STORY..
I WAS BORN AT..
MY HOBBY IS..
I LIVE IN..
I WISH FOR..
I TAG..
currently..every nite when i tried 2 lie down..the question alwiz keep popping in my head.. Who is A.L? (my initial lar) well.. as far as i know A.L is a..kinda..emm.. well.. she is... actually... -BLANK! surely if sum1 ask me about ppl i knew definitely the answer wasnt this difficult. yup.. its harder to recognize urself than other ppl around u .. i'm adding another 1 year in the calendar of my golden ages..sumhow i still can find any answer of my own question about life .. and it aint funny 2 me obviously.
almost end of jan 2009..but still none of my resolutions accomplish! Phew!! maybe it's still too early..well juz hoping n praying.. n..i'm still searching 4 my own identity.. i mean..what i wanna become, what will i be..which way my life will lead..n some sort of ques that me myself dont want 2 ask nor answer it. but i believe.. what we've pray that's what we will get..juz in a way that we dont xpect. if we ask for patience..God will never answer it juz like what we asked..instead He gave us an opportunity to be patience n strong. n if we ask for love..He wont gave us love juz like that instead He gave us sum1/ppl 2 teach us how 2 love n be loved in return..
me? well..i may not be that "assalamualaikum" type..but i do believe (in my heart n mind..strongly) no matter how bad we are, how lame we are, how great we are, how cool, sophisticated, high-standard we are..n bla, bla, bla... we still a small tiny creatures who alwiz need the bless from Him the almighty..
n that question of "Who is A.L?" well..i'm still craving for the answer..(the good 1 i mean ) n in time being let juz me searching 4 the answer myself.. it's 4 me 2 find out, n 4 me 2 know..
Love n regards,
A.L
last week i've done reading this book (Novel obviously ). yup it's an old-timer story but who cares..i'm not that movie-type person (as u know lar kan ) well.. i muz say that this story really hit me that bad..i mean the story line juz as same as what i've been through right now..yup..that includes those calories counting (thank u hisam 4 telling me guys do like chubby-cheek gal ), call waiting..etc..etc..why..? why me?? n those soklan maut when will i get married alwiz chuckled me as i dont know the exact answer la. last time when ppl asked me i juz told them.."biarla rahsia"..huhu ala2 dato' ct gamaknyer ..sriously i dont give a damn lar
well..apparently at this tender age of 25 (might say 18++ ) this sort of question will alwiz be ask like the compulsory exam question. u really donno the answer but yet have to answer it la..recently i'd received a call from 1 of my frens. quite surprise me as we hardly had a conversation since years ago. n she told me some sort of her marriage problems. n i do gave her sum advises n guess what i've got in return..sum kind of appreciation in a "sweet-words" like...i really dont want 2 end up like u, A..been dating for what, 7-8 years yet got nothing eventually..i want my family...bla..bla..bla.. after an hour conversation she ended up like..tx A..but i do feel like i shouldnt get any advises from single woman like u..u're not even married (n tx 2 her la..4 making my weekends left by feelings of beaten up!!!! )
hmm..those words do hurt me a-lot! i mean..if i were dating even for 10/20 years, it shouldnt b a problem for her rite.. it's my life. yup i'm hepi for her get married as early as what 19-20 years old.. maybe that's the best for her. as 4 me..ill cross the bridge when i'm ready n perhaps when sum1 will excitedly purpose me 2 b his wife eventually.. n till that day..let me be this way..
lately i'm going insane..not that kind of insane where i should go to mental institution la. juz sumtimes i donno what i'm thinking of.. everythgs went wrong all the times..geess. really donno la.. went 2 work like not doing any work, back home..i spent times reading book (it's a NOVEL..obviously..) then i go to sleep..n that situation goes the same everyday..weekdays.. (yup i'm so home-type gal la..) for those who did not know me.. u really don wan 2 know me as i'm such a boring person lar.. going here-don want, going there-cannot, do this-not interested, do-that-maybe next time (there juz so many xcuses la..) well..actually i juz like being alone.. i don want 2 hurt ppl and don want ppl hurt me.. i'm so sensitive (mind u) like 2 cry a lot (sumtimes cant even hide it) love 2 laugh but find it's hard 2 smile.. n ppl who meet me 4 the 1st time.. i'm sorry 2 say that i'm not the friendly type person as u'll find me being "so cold".. but after a while (maybe 2,3 weeks ) u'll annoy with the variety of voices that i've got..huhu (the high pitch 1??)
juz when i thought life could be harder..yup it is.. there are so much choices in our life n yet we often make mistakes in making choice.. juz when i thought i could lay down at night, sleep restless, n when i wake up the next morning all my troubles will fade away..nope! life wasnt that easy.. i often have a daydream being a sleeping beauty (that fairy tales lor ) yup..my fav fairy tales la.. sleeping! have a deep sleep n then when i wake up there's a prince..(ops..juz cut the prince scene k ) i juz want all the hectic n chaotic episodes in my life end soon enuff..
what a silly me..ntah la..worry is like a rocking chair..it gives u sumthg 2 do but doesnt take u anywhere. so..juz stop worrying.. n hoping there's a tiny little rainbow at the end of my journey this year..