write it as u remember it..huhu

i like to read ppl status n comments in fb.. yeah sum are interesting..some r boring..n sum r annoying..-huhu- n yesh i didnt put any status on my fb -coz i wanna keep it low profile ..lol- but then i didnt-never in my life-..send a msg -via fb- n ask a man -who i barely knew for real- is he already married or not? or send a comment to his status n -without hesitation- self-proclaimed "i am this guy's gf" n wat-so-ever...-wah m in anger that i slammed my keyboard hard..huhu- yesh i m not a girl-next-door who happen to be a perfect gf for any1.. yet m not a damn-hot-drop-dead-gorgeous-angel that everyman wish for..im juz me.. a simple girl n -dont-forget-the-ugly-duckling-part...lol... me n my significant one had discussed n we r happily to keep our relationship for ourselves -means: no romantic comments, or anythg that can make our relationship become public news...-lol!

yesh ... i m "bitchy" sumtimes... in a polite way i could say.. -as he wont support my bitchiness coz all he can say is "its ur fault"..yup hes not the type of guy who will only see his gf kindness,bright side... he alwiz make me analyze my actions, my words.. n make me realize that the world does not revolve around me.. - owh back to the comments thing.. i knew that girl kinda like him..-so what- i do feel bad for her.. but i feel bad to myself 1st - she really has a gut to say that im damn unlucky to be his gf when she doesnt even knew him for real- lol! the truth is ugly, isnt it?

-sorry for bitchiness words..huhu-

win-win situation? lol

m happy..u happy..we all happy..-happily ever after? - opps..we're not living in the far far away-fairy tales-land.. nothg is forever -well..i like to use "ephemeral" @_@ - hihi.. whats on 10/10/2010? surely it will "haunted" us, malaysian, for a long time like highland towers tragedy >.< .. a tragic acccident here in Malaysia (the 30th among countries with the highest number of fatal road accidents) there alwiz been an accident there (the place wer the accident happened) however, i often forget about it whenever i drive back-to-back from bangi 2 melaka.. luckily nothg ever happened to me (but who knows later in life >.< ) -take a precaution-

owh ya..its also a day when some of my frens tie a knot -sweet!- juz a speculation..i noticed somewhat we called "friend" or particularly "best-fren-forever..bff" is actually useful when we are single..but when we are married it turns out to be "do-we-used-to-be-frens-coz-it-seems-like-i-dont-even-care-bout-u" lol! n 1 more thing..its-a-must-u-have-2-come-2-my-wedding-if-not-i-wont-come-to-urs-either! wahahaha... -big laugh-btw,,izzit a must when sum1 congrats u for ur marriage n u give them a heart-attack question -an atomic bomb i presume- "when u gonna get married?" izzit a simple question with a certain correct answer or a question which can be answer by kindergarten child? its a big N-0. its a question which no one can answer merely by yes or no.. its also as same question like "when u gonna die?" see...no one can really answer that -cringe!- 

sumhow..i do wish i was a child..nothg to worries..(5yrs old child can do as i dont want to study hard for exams...lol!) but then when i look back to myself again.. a bit relieved coz at least a quarter of my life ive spent on learning, studying..n not playing around (n hopefully it really worth -big grin-) yesh my life wasnt a fairy tales.. but sumhow a person i am is a real me ..n my bffs are really a true frens.. (ever 1 of my fren is an artist now -hehehehe- )we will never have to be "plastic" to each other coz we know who we are -relieved- 

looking back ...shudnt i suppose to finish my thesis rather than update my blog? -_-" sigh..yup..this is me..lol!

perhaps.. a lil happiness will be juz fine -_-"

yesh..do feel tired n annoyed with posts to come..coz sum1 i related to mind n soul is m.i.a -cringe!- i will be ok i know..its juz a matter of times..n i do look towards it. m not a cry baby..nor a-pathetic-dependent-yet-weak-girl-shud-b.. i dont know where my life will leads..(or shud i lead my life..thats the better question..) but sum1 gave a pleasant answer that my life is to be with him eventually ( -heart's smiling-) yesh but its too far for me too reach it now.. as my life is so empty recently n needs sumthg to fill it -sad-

yup i know..i have to settle my "burden" -sigh- if u r not happy doing sumthg u wont be able to put all uve got to it.. n to me.. i feel like i was forced to accept it..to like it..to finish it n yet to submit it..coz every single things that happen really make my heart push it away.. (ofc its my thesis..lol) but ill make it up..n ill submit it..ill do whatever it takes...

heart..plz be brave,,n take the challenge!! lol

behind the smokey eyes

i heart smokey eyes... its full of mystery n so damn-pretty..hihi.. n yesh until now i still love it.. sumtimes (during my msc studies) my bff's n i went out, n that smokey eyes is a must for me (if i had time...n not lazy to dress-up..hihi) n i do remember 1 of my bffs called it smoking eyes..(hihi..) those were good old days..i missed them.. i had a really bad days now..i mean bad times.. n during these times..its a relieved whenever i have a chance to connect with them even via internet ^_^  n ofc its a good thing if i can connect with the 1 i care the most (but we drifted apart..-sigh- but babe..i will understand ur situation..n ill wait for ya -smile- even u wont read this.-cringe-)

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well..good thing is ephemeral.. n so with bad ones.. everythg is ephemeral.. its up to us to make it lasts.. -haiysz- sumtimes i do wish certain moments in my life will repeats again n again..but then i wont be able to stand up, facing new things in my life coz i will obviously enjoy those moments.. life is hard but thats the way it has to be..to make us stronger..braver.. -heart smiling-

-monolog-...in spite of  being jealous..i mish u babe -haiysz-

insecure -_-"

last week was my 2ndary school reunion (b4 i transferred to muar..hehe) what d'ya expect? ofc m not going.. 1 of the reason got sumthg to do ..while other reason..m not brave enuff to x-pose myself..eekeke..(joke!) they all turn out to be sum1 hawt..meanwhile im still an ugly duckling..lol..the only difference is m not going to turn out to be a swan..(haiysz...) i got this irrelevant-instinct from my childhood until now (which i knew it's sooo ridiculous) to be outstanding u have to have a pretty face..which combine perfectly with fair skin n no acne at all.. (yesh i know beauty is in the eyes of beholder...) n as for me..having a tan (wahahaha..if only it is tan.. =p ) skin..face full of pimples here n there..really didnt caught any eyes la..

do i feel so pathetic? life is pain..n we have to go on even we have no life..NO LIFE? i have a life.. n my life is hard..yeah who doesnt? to have the insecurity -feelings of what u r alwiz troubles me.. n feelings of being rejected..in so many times.. well guess luck isnt my way of life..(huhu) 

but..deep down..i know.. sumwhere over the rainbow.. theres a perfect place for an ugly duckling ^_^

till then..