forever be miss

He came to our world unexpectedly. And he died terribly. He was hit by a car in front of our house. U can tell how much on earth the reckless driver speeding within the housing area and causing our cat to die. Obviously, it’s the housing area and should u not speeding in spite how expensive your car might be. Rest in peace our dear sweet Stokin..u will always be miss. And i admit, by the time i wrote about it i couldn’t stop crying. Surely i was not the one who fed him or bathed him or took care of his poops.. still i couldn’t stop crying, thus try to imagine how sad it was to a person whose in charges of everything, went through the lost of it. For us, the cats or fish are not just pets. Which ever or whomever came to our life and stayed are family.. our little family.

Once we get bonded with something it’s so hard to leave. And yes, here i am living my life, once again in same region of Malaysia. Maybe i spoke to soon about leaving here and back to my hometown for good. Definitely i was wrong. I got a better job offer here while doing part time job at my previous company –again, when i was about to resign, and this time for good, my previous bos persuaded me to keep working even as part timer –and how can i said no.. keeping my mind busy will definitely avoiding my heart to feel numb about anything that couldn’t-shouldn’t be happen in my life, not now not never. 

My bos was ok –well at least until he knew i was engaged –which i’m not obviously. I’m just using that lame excuse so people won’t pop up the golden questions. I found that sort of action merely as good as strong defense mechanism one should have –better yet people at the site are now believed that i’m having someone special and won’t bother to know things about me beside work. Sounds popular? Hahahahahaha.. it’s the flaw of being the only girl in the cabin and in the company i assume.

~just because we couldn’t be together doesn’t means i won’t love u~

Wednesday again

form & waiting...

breakaway moment ~ sementara tunggu encik kuar opis

New darl!

Back to where I started –pff..melodramatic. Nope..I’m just here to finish my work and get paid for March’s salary. I’d promised myself that this week going to be my final week here and then I can happily sing ‘N SYNC song –Bye Bye Bye to this place. My boss offered me to work full time here on May –yes he had gave a month rest to me – and I just said I’ll think about it – but I’m not. I wanted to get out of this place the sooner the better.

I have an interview this evening. At retail store which is –can be consider as big at East coast region. Not hoping much but I’ll just do the best and be myself. Last year I did apply for numerous jobs but none was called for interview. I’m a bit lucky this year perhaps. Was called for interview once and actually got the job then I, voluntarily resign –thanks to myself. But I believe everything has written for us. We just need to go with the flow.

Owh by the way..encik has gave me a cute little kitten and it’s white. I always wanted a black cat but since I had fallen in love with this kitten –and encik of course…haha- I’ll bring it back. It’s a male and encik named it “putih”. Huh.. since mom already has ikan kaloi named Putih so I decided to call it “Shiro” –heh..the meaning is still white but in Japanese ^_^-

Will attach my darl as soon as I reach home. Hope everything will go smooth this evening!!

The abnormal

spending this "holiday" with an old-timer-movie. heh! I knew I won't have this opportunity in future so yeah.. why not? =) got a called from my colleague from kuantan office just now asking why can't I work back with them? Truth is I won't not cause I can't. I just don't want. Being admin wasn't an easy job after all plus when you have to deal with the account some more. I 'm just too tired. Maybe I should try something else.. An astronaut perhaps ;p

Too much things I have to think about.. 

such a hectic mind...right now

It's done!

As shock as it may sound..well yeah.. I did resign from my job here. I mean the one that offered me the big amount (allegedly). It was so much hectic and heartache I’m going to say but the details..well let me keep it myself. 

When you are the only different race among the others surely you will be treated “better” –in sarcastic way. I keep being patience and try to adapting to the environment but that’s it. Last Wednesday was my limit. And honestly if I keep staying in the same place, doing the same job I’ll be the women version of Incredible Hulk –but I’d prefer turning into purple rather than green. LOL. 

The policy stricted state that only can use ENGLISH –but hey, since there’s only one people with other race why don’t we just use our common tongue. It wasn’t the big problem actually. But can’t use malay words I think that’s a big BullS**t! Come on.. we are supposed to be 1Malaysia I presume. 

And the biggest s**t that I’m supposely control THE company account not the owner’s japanese restaurant, or do their clients’ E form or etc. Am only starting for a week and the bos assumed me to know every files located, every single receipts was kept or the previous years file was stored. This is absurd. Totally insane.

I knew i had signed the contract but look I’m still in probation. But did the boss listen to me..nope. And being the one who keep comparing me to her favourite staff and a month trainees there. So yeah. 

I’m pissing off and unemployed in time being. This I knew that being patience and keep staying there won’t do me any good!

through sleepless night

Bakal Transit?

This is it. Some people might consider it as the end, but for me I do believe that this is the new beginning for me. The job that I once said I was undelightful to accept, finally become my new career. The new boss offered such an amount that I know I cannot resist compared to my previous wages. While my previous boss just won’t let me resign –just yet. -_-“ He threw my resignation letter and asked me to stay –which I will if the situation was better. 

This week became a mad week for me. The week which I had to give a month notice (minus 12 days annual leave) and accept the offer letter while finishing my task –which is behind schedule obviously -_-“. Of course I didn’t manage to complete it, which is why I have to bring all the documents, files, etc back home. Unofficially, I've already resign from my previous jobs; HOWEVER, the previous boss wants me to keep working even from far-far-away. Like we won’t see each other eyes to eyes but keep connecting via email, courier, phone calls, and teamviewer, Which means I have to going back to back Kuantan-Melaka every fortnight or so. -_-“ and he said it may takes a while –within a year or two- then I can decide whether to resign officially or working back with them. 

I already packed some of my stuffs at my office. Hopefully there’s a replacement for me not long after I’ll be gone. The salary will be double but not to mention the stress + burden I have to cope with. Will start working at new place this Monday –while still carrying the stuffs at my previous office. Arrgghhh!! Will I manage to do that? Hopefully things will get better as soon as I can adapt with new environment. Luckily, I’ll be working five days a week only, so Saturday will be my working day for previous boss. 

Have to manage my time wisely, as my main focus always to complete the one and only thesis I had been holding on for quite sometimes! 

Owh..masih belum packing barang nak pindah. Esok sudah nak balik kampung. Kerja di tempat baru akan ada sedikit stress..bahasa utama adalah bahasa Inggeris. Sila jangan kekambingan nanti!!!!!

12th!

titik.

The perks of chubbiness

( the entry has nothing to do with the title. I'm just being me after all -_-" predictable)

Recently, my bride-to-be-lil-sis wassup-ed me. I knew there was something happened when she contact me. Not that I don’t like it, I love it so much. With her, I can be myself. We always gossiping and updating each other. 

Owh, she’s the one who wanted me to be her bridesmaid. Heh. It’s a big NO honey. I’m just too old for that sort of stuff. She told me she wanted to call her engagement off. No, I wasn’t surprise at all. I knew that stage, when the other side didn’t show as many interest as we did (in the preparations etc) we will get mad. As if they didn’t want this thing (marriage) to be happen and the one who put all their best is US. Ok..this I’m referring to people who will get married. Heh.

So, I adviced her to calm down, try to reminiscing all the good times they had shared together within their nine years ++ being in love and still. This is the crucial step in their relationship. But she scolded me for taking sides of her fiance. Huhu. Actually, it wasn’t my purpose. I knew that guy will take a really good care of her. Nothing for sure but I do trust my instinct. And she said apart of my hustle-hectic-love-life, I still keep cool. I tried my best not to meroyan ;p. 

For being real, I’m not cool. I was weak and fragile. I was, back then and now. There’s a say that you don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Owh by the way, I didn’t accept the job offer. I called the company last Friday said sorry and told them I have a better offer, which I haven’t. They said they will try to offer me another deal and make me to reconsider on Monday and they didn’t call back today so I guess I’m not their best candidates anymore. Heh! Well, better searching for another job. I won’t allow myself working in the same company anymore for consecutive years to come. -_-“

The decision

-_-“ I’ve got a new job oppurtunity. But frankly, i was undelighted to accept it. Berat hati. The salary is better than my current job and I’m sure it’s level of stress will also be double. It’s not the main issue here. I know myself and I’m 100 % sure I’ll handle the stress within my professional level –pfff- It’s not the job but it’s me. 

Truthfully I was not brave enough to leave my comfort zone. I knew I told myself to move on but deep down when there’s a chance I wasn’t happy to do so. Ooowhh..how pathetic I am? How can I move on when part of me is missing? How I wish I am strong.. how I yearn to be strong.. how I need to be strong.. such an idiot for me to let go the golden chance. 

When they offered me the job i was speechless. Yup, I didn’t expect to be the one –didn’t have study background nor familiar with some-sort of terms in that particular area- but I do have experiences. I still didn’t give them any answer. Still in dilemma. LOL.

Must make a decision. Argggghhhh!!!!!