xpunya sape..

sy hanya mampu bertabah.. smoga sume ini menjadikan sy lebih matang n berhati2 dlm kehidupan.. sy xsalahkan sesiapa hny diri sdiri.. glad even my heart bleed terribly, i still can wipe my tears n smile! deep down inside me i know my heart actually broken into million pieces at any single words that he possibly accused! tp xpela.. sesape pon leh ckp pe je yg mereka inginkan.. human rights kan.. sape la sy utk tentukan ape yg harus diperkatakan oleh org lain.

sok sy ade intebiu stage 3 SD. yup..i'm driving all the way 2 subang..alone! (huhu...yup it's soo lame to others but for me..sy xpnah drive ke sana sblm ni maka ye..ni ade la ujian terbesar wat sy utk drive bersendirian, TIDAK SESAT, n perlu smpi seawal 8.15 ke destinasi yg jln nye mmg popular dgn JEM! ) puas la cik sue n hisam dok terangkan jln pd sy...terima kasih kamu ber2! hopefully this time sy fokus n xsesat.. =) 

wish me luck!! =)

my life is sooo not a fairy tale..

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end"

no...definitely not b4 the "day" plz... kalo sesuatu yg teruk nk berlaku tlg la after the "day" (at least i could accept it a bit..huh! sigh) yup..it's totally my fault.. ye sy xberhati mulia spt die.. n i admit it he's way better than me in everythg.. n there was me who excitedly thinking various ways to entertain him on our special day.. but now everthg seems to collapse right in front of my eyes.. sy tau die amat marah skrg ni.. the way i'm keeping sumthg from him..the unknown action i'd done..tahla..sy rs sgt2 la bersalah tp sy tau kalo skrg sy minta maaf pon die xkn lyn.. sbb sy mmg bersalah sgt2... this could last a week...two or three weeks worst! (by the time it's already our day! =(...) 

padan la muke sy ni kan.. sedey la.. kind of mish his jokes, smile...n everythg bout him...mungkinkah sy hanya mampu mengenangnye di masa hadapan? (harap sgt tidak!) yes he could be the sweetest man on earth when he's happy but currently he's not in a mood..(sigh!) mr. z.. sy syg bangat sama kamu.. =( juz hope n pray everthg will be better soonish! kind of weird when he's not being himself..nanges!

 

mode: jiwe kacau + rs bersalah sgt2 (-_-")

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
 

sy tau sy salah...sy minta maaf sgt2.. (-_-)

layanz..

best! 2 thumbs up!

=) hehe..sy da stay kt kolej skrg ni.. life? so far ok la..happier than b4..n lebih selesa skrg.. heart? hurm.. i'm juz a normal human being..there's up n down tp sy mls la nk pk2 da.. biarlah kan.. ade adelah.. xde xpaksa.. owh yer.. sy sgt berdebar menantikan mggu hadapan.. 1st n 2nd stage of SD's interview sy da pass! (alhamdulillah! the verbal ques was tough tho~) haha...xla susah kot bg org yg excel tp bg sy agak susah la sbb ade ms sy mmg mls membace..hehe.. utk stage yg seterusnye ni sy sgt takuts! (owh yer inilah gak nyer perasaan peserta american idols..hoho) pape pon sy harus wat bersungguh2 sbb ni mungkin ditakdirkan utk sy (setelah sekian lame tanam anggur ke?nanges ckit!)

seseorg sudah mula menyemak FB sy! O.M.G! tp sy xtau nape sy cm rileks jer..haha.. sy xwat pape kesalahan knp perlu sy rs gabra...ye x? tahla..sy cm da mati perasaan je.. (heartless perhaps?) sy nk tumpukan perhatian pd diri sy je skrg ni.. skt nyer ati sy skrg bile tiap2 ari ade je yg xkena.. (ye sy tau umur sy da lanjut (nanges sgt!) sy masih bujang ( dan comel?) tp xperlu la ade je soklan panas dr makcik2 kg sy..) sbb 2 la sy mls nk bergaul dgn org yg seusia mak sy sbb pemikiran ortodoks terhadap perkahwinan masih lagi menguasai minda mereka...(ecececeh!) mujur my parents x begitu ( relieved!) c'mon la ppl..lum kawin bkn bermakne xberjaye dlm hdup!! ishh.. sy ade gak smpn hasrat utk jg anak angkt bila hidup da stabil t..(sy teringin la nk amek ank jepon or korea.. t da beso dorg leh ajar sy bhs ibunda mereka =p sesuatu!) 

hari ni sudah byk makan...harus berjog la ri ni..setelah seminggu sy menternak bdn!! meraung!

if...i.. were...

mode: jiwe parah tp tetap mantain santek...(ke?)

smbil menekan2 pp sdiri sy mula menaip post kali ni..hurm..pp masih kembung walau da bersenam bagai..tp xpela.. mungkin niat utk kurus pd mulanye dgn berjog xkn menjadi..kini sy jd kan jogging sbgi hobi (hurm...sgt la bagus kan smbil sihatkn bdn, kuarkan peluh.. dpt gak sy release tension sy..=D ) jiwe sy thp parah ri ni.. sy xfhm org yg xnk fhm sy..alih2 sy makin xfhm sbb org itew xnk fhm sy langsung... kdg sy fikir kalo sy salah, sy minta maaf n everythg will be okay eventually.. if i ever get upset for certain things i will be out of my mind for at least  1-2 mins or 30mins tough! after that i'll be at the best that i can be.. but that guy will never understand this weird-complex creature named me! i do wonder if he ever "like" me the way he alwiz told me.

deep down inside me i knew that even though he's the best guy i ever met until now (best ke? maybe not the BEST-est kot...haha..ayat!) he only n will only be my best significant one.. not my bestfriend at all.. he would never knew how i felt or needed.. he'll never be my BFF ever.. (so i cant never sing the song called "Lucky-jason mraz " as i'm not that lucky to fall in love with my best buddy...hurm..) tahla.. why cant i meet sum1 else? haha.. mungkin gak sy da bosan kot hdup begini...sy ingin sesuatu yg menarik dlm hidup sy.. sy nk cabaran, sentiasa berdepan dgn pelbagai perkara menarik.. --kalo die bukan tercipta utk sy..sy rela lepaskan die dr rantaian sy--

mode: ok da... <3

bykkn bersabar yer hati.. tlg la bersabar n sibukkan diri sdiri.. (sy seorg yg nmpk sgt tabah tp sbnrnye...fragile inside...nanges!)

linger..

/hihi

sempena thn br ni sy telah pon lancarkan kempen utk mencapai azam sy thn ini... yer n sy berjaya membuat larian paling minima 3pusingan padang bola sepak n sit up sebyk 50x!! hikhik 1 kejayaan bg sy yg sgt la lemah semangat utk habiskan waima 1pusingan pon! i know it may sound soooo lame for sum ppl who can actually work out more than that but i dont give up! i know myself n i know my limits so...i really dont give a damn.. adela skali dlm 2mggu ni me n my buddies went to a gym.. n it wasss soooo exciting..

sumthg keep lingering in my head right now.. have u ever felt like the thing u keep holding back wasnt yours at all? i mean like..if it were not meant 4 u it wont be yours no matter how long u keep it...for real? sy xtau.. ade masa sy rs die bkn la utk sy tp sy masih lagi bertahan smpi skrg.. ade ketika sy rs sy xnk n xkn melepaskan die pergi.. tp skrg sy rs xpela..kalo hatinya bkn utk sy, sy relakan pemergiannya.. sy hanya berserah pada Tuhan sbb sy tahu hanya Dia yang menentukan segala2nya n Dia jugakla yg tahu apa yg baik utk sy.. sy xde mslh dgn dia cume sy rs waktu ini sy nak lebih menghargai diri sdiri. sy nk rs hdp tanpa die utk seketika n sy yakin sy xkn ada mslh utk itu. i know i'll not be completely live without him but surely less in involving his name or action or whatever that has any connection with him. FULLSTOP! sy bkn la sorg wanita yg ske propa my personal life in public.. 2 declare my relationship, put some romantic pics together, not even comments or anythg in public.. (sumtimes in my daily communications i hardly mention his name..) but that's me.. i have no offense for those who like 2 share it all.. (kalo kategori artis 2 sy ni dlm grup yg sorok2 status la kirenyer..haha) /wahaha

ok back 2 normal..have 2 prepare 4 tomorrow! hurm...wish me luck.. n i really hope 4 this one!!/please

/bye