the girl who is depressed..currently

i can consider myself as emo person.. n i tend to be happy like hell when ppl around me but when im alone..only God knows exactly what i feel inside. n it is sad when sum1 u thought connected with u, mind n soul, did sumthg beyond ur expectations.. i wish i am sleeping beauty who gets to sleep n only wake up when her prince come to save her (LOL) but in fact im not beauty..the title will change to sleeping beast? LOL..

for others, starting a new life may seems so easy..as for me it is tough.. i dont know where to begin..yet i dont know how to end my miserable-current-life.. perhaps the happiness works differently.. do i have to kiss a lot of frogs before i meet my prince? NO. do i have to risk my happiness for sumthg that i foresee the dark ahead? NO. do i have to forget my past n never look back? hell NO.. it may be the tormented past stories i never wanted in my life but its mine. n no one can judge it even myself.

ill be happy now (well im not but im trying)

the girl who happy for her buddies ^^

this lovely entry is dedicated to my beloved fwens.. so here we go.. -big grin-

mekcah a.k.a bride-2-b 

recently ive received a great news from one of my pal n shes about to marry her lovely bf -sweet!- we r not really fren actually (kami hanya kenal gtew2 aje during our degree) but thing turns out to be different when we finally became roomate. sy bkn la jenis yg cerewet org nyer bila 1bilik dgn org lain (coz i alwiz have my own space at home ..lol) but for me there shud be at least a chemistry when u started to share a place with others. n with this girl, there are so many chemistry we'd shared -shocked!- haha..i never thought i cud actually shared everythg with her..(even toiletries..) shes like my sister..(sy kakak n die adk..ekeke) sbb sy sgt garang (dlm sesetgh perkara yg melibatkan kebersihan terutamanye) n she did understand me.. 

shes a pretty girl inside n outside..shes not the type of girl who will ease u  when 1st time u've meet her. she wont please but when u really know her, shes beyond that..n u will know shes actually like an open book. whats on her face thats what shes feel inside..-terutama bila die tbe2 masuk bilik n terdampar dgn budak gemok kesygn nyer..haha-

die xpenah berkira (n mungkin 2 salah 1 sbb die salu kene buli dgn seseorg -_-" ) n etika kami -jgn kedekut dlm makanan -hehe. sbb sikap die yg xkisah n xberkira sy takut gak in case she meet sum1 yg akn buli die dlm hubungan ( sbb sy kakak sy sgt runsingkan hal org lain o.O) but luckily..she met the perfect guy ..n that man is lucky to have her coz shes well-trained about household chores since she was a child..ekekeke-smiling- n i hope it will last until the end of their life..

 ms g gim sesame..hihi kunun2 nk kuwus n sihat..

malangnyer mekcah maintain kuwus n sy maintain chubby..nanges!

cik ros a.k.a bride-2-b also ^^

n this girl..she never talk bad about others... she alwiz said bout herself..hihi.. die sgt tegas dlm hubungan nyer -nanges sbb sy xtegas cuma garang- shes a sweet girl who will get married at this tender age of early 20..( sy xtau umo cik ros tp die mude la ddr sy ..nanges lg) die ni bdk praktikal yg menyewa umah sesame dolu.. n ms 2 la ade kejadian xdiingini berlaku (-_-" umah seksyen 1 bbb mmg kwsn xselamat)

time kasih kt tunang cik ros sbb sudi temankan kami sume dgn tdo kt hall selama seminggu (ms 2 takuts sgt2 sal kes org msk umah n curik brg2), dgn kak T (jiran yg prihatin sgt2 -_-") yg salu beri nasehat xputus2 (org senyum pon wat muke toye! -geram-) sume pon kenangan khennn..smoga kekal la ke akhir hayat yer cik ros ^_^ (pas ni kena pggil puan ros la plak)

-blum dpt msk kn gambo dgn cik ros - _- "

cik jeda a.k.a ida

ha ni lg sowg budak yg thn dgn mulut laser i -haha- n like mek cah shes also well-trained future housewife -pakar dlm membuat smbal tempoyak- sy xpenah rs janggal dgn die pon sbb die ni peramah n leh cite mcm2. salu sgt lepak bilik die n baring2 gaye gedix kt bantal smbil die lipat segala jenis pakaian atau mengemas. shes like our lil sis in the house.

-nanges sal lum ade gmbo dgn cik jeda lg..t la kalo dpt jmp kt kuantan..leh hang out sesame.. -  in future..hope everythg get smoother between u n your significant one.. lifes hard but we r tougher.. 

cik sue a.k.a tsisue

  

pandai da posing cr cahaya..lalala

sy byk gmbo dgn cik sue sal sy salu menyebok nk bergambo gak time die siap2 nk posing..ekekeke..bg sy die ni la gal paling tabah penah sy jmp..die xpenah nk marah2, agak2 kalo da tensen 2 die jerit je dgn gaye pasah sandha..haha.. n sy harap sgt die akan dpt kebahagian die akhirnye. shes a good, warm heart gal n worth to die for -big grin- i pray for ur happiness sue.. 

 

demam antm cycle 13 (petite models..lol) 

sbbkan cik sue lg kuwus dr sy maka cik sue jd nicole n sy jd laura...ke? hahaha

puan liza a.k.a iron lady (hihi)

waahh..nape sy gelar kwn sy yg sowg ni iron lady? sbb die mmg versatile wat mcm2 dlm 1 ms.  n right now shes a wife, student n good worker. phew... shes like my eldest sista. kami da lame kenal 1 same lain. since kindergarden.. n then went to school togetha until form 4 when i pursued my study at Muar. shes mature than i am n she live her life to the fullest. she never like to compare her life with others coz everybody got their own life..

she get married on 2008 after like 7yrs relationship (if im not mistaken) yes..at that time i do feel lost..coz im losing my bestfren to the man that she loves. but then..since i knew her hubby i didnt feel so bad coz i knew he takes a good care of her n loves her more than life itself. -smiling to oneself- i wish they can have their own kids one day coz she'll be the best mom. 

during her wedding -she was a beautiful bride i ever seen-

well..as for me.. these girls left their marks in my life.. n i do wish for their happiness n far away from any sadness in their life. they are wonderful..n m hoping the best for them alwiz -smiling-

kepenatan stlh mendaki bukit broga...hihi

motip letak gmbo ni? xde kena mgena dgn entry..lol

write it as u remember it..huhu

i like to read ppl status n comments in fb.. yeah sum are interesting..some r boring..n sum r annoying..-huhu- n yesh i didnt put any status on my fb -coz i wanna keep it low profile ..lol- but then i didnt-never in my life-..send a msg -via fb- n ask a man -who i barely knew for real- is he already married or not? or send a comment to his status n -without hesitation- self-proclaimed "i am this guy's gf" n wat-so-ever...-wah m in anger that i slammed my keyboard hard..huhu- yesh i m not a girl-next-door who happen to be a perfect gf for any1.. yet m not a damn-hot-drop-dead-gorgeous-angel that everyman wish for..im juz me.. a simple girl n -dont-forget-the-ugly-duckling-part...lol... me n my significant one had discussed n we r happily to keep our relationship for ourselves -means: no romantic comments, or anythg that can make our relationship become public news...-lol!

yesh ... i m "bitchy" sumtimes... in a polite way i could say.. -as he wont support my bitchiness coz all he can say is "its ur fault"..yup hes not the type of guy who will only see his gf kindness,bright side... he alwiz make me analyze my actions, my words.. n make me realize that the world does not revolve around me.. - owh back to the comments thing.. i knew that girl kinda like him..-so what- i do feel bad for her.. but i feel bad to myself 1st - she really has a gut to say that im damn unlucky to be his gf when she doesnt even knew him for real- lol! the truth is ugly, isnt it?

-sorry for bitchiness words..huhu-

win-win situation? lol

m happy..u happy..we all happy..-happily ever after? - opps..we're not living in the far far away-fairy tales-land.. nothg is forever -well..i like to use "ephemeral" @_@ - hihi.. whats on 10/10/2010? surely it will "haunted" us, malaysian, for a long time like highland towers tragedy >.< .. a tragic acccident here in Malaysia (the 30th among countries with the highest number of fatal road accidents) there alwiz been an accident there (the place wer the accident happened) however, i often forget about it whenever i drive back-to-back from bangi 2 melaka.. luckily nothg ever happened to me (but who knows later in life >.< ) -take a precaution-

owh ya..its also a day when some of my frens tie a knot -sweet!- juz a speculation..i noticed somewhat we called "friend" or particularly "best-fren-forever..bff" is actually useful when we are single..but when we are married it turns out to be "do-we-used-to-be-frens-coz-it-seems-like-i-dont-even-care-bout-u" lol! n 1 more thing..its-a-must-u-have-2-come-2-my-wedding-if-not-i-wont-come-to-urs-either! wahahaha... -big laugh-btw,,izzit a must when sum1 congrats u for ur marriage n u give them a heart-attack question -an atomic bomb i presume- "when u gonna get married?" izzit a simple question with a certain correct answer or a question which can be answer by kindergarten child? its a big N-0. its a question which no one can answer merely by yes or no.. its also as same question like "when u gonna die?" see...no one can really answer that -cringe!- 

sumhow..i do wish i was a child..nothg to worries..(5yrs old child can do as i dont want to study hard for exams...lol!) but then when i look back to myself again.. a bit relieved coz at least a quarter of my life ive spent on learning, studying..n not playing around (n hopefully it really worth -big grin-) yesh my life wasnt a fairy tales.. but sumhow a person i am is a real me ..n my bffs are really a true frens.. (ever 1 of my fren is an artist now -hehehehe- )we will never have to be "plastic" to each other coz we know who we are -relieved- 

looking back ...shudnt i suppose to finish my thesis rather than update my blog? -_-" sigh..yup..this is me..lol!

perhaps.. a lil happiness will be juz fine -_-"

yesh..do feel tired n annoyed with posts to come..coz sum1 i related to mind n soul is m.i.a -cringe!- i will be ok i know..its juz a matter of times..n i do look towards it. m not a cry baby..nor a-pathetic-dependent-yet-weak-girl-shud-b.. i dont know where my life will leads..(or shud i lead my life..thats the better question..) but sum1 gave a pleasant answer that my life is to be with him eventually ( -heart's smiling-) yesh but its too far for me too reach it now.. as my life is so empty recently n needs sumthg to fill it -sad-

yup i know..i have to settle my "burden" -sigh- if u r not happy doing sumthg u wont be able to put all uve got to it.. n to me.. i feel like i was forced to accept it..to like it..to finish it n yet to submit it..coz every single things that happen really make my heart push it away.. (ofc its my thesis..lol) but ill make it up..n ill submit it..ill do whatever it takes...

heart..plz be brave,,n take the challenge!! lol