no place like home

until yesterday..i'd travel a lot (ye la..hikhik..definition from my own dictionary la ;p) from kuantan to langkawi..yup.. kinda exhausted but i'm having fun (apparently this is the last progress meetg i will attend..as my master project seems 2 finish oredi..) 1 part of me i'm so grateful that eventually all my hustle-n-bustle life (plus hecticly complex yet complicated life ;p) will comes to an end..but 1 part of me..i do feel a little bit sad.. as i'm leaving my "baby" (project) soon..n not only that..this almost 3 years "stick" @ my lab really taught me a million lessons that i admit i couldnt get anywhere else..

cant write much right now..got stuff to do (hihi...the aura of xcellent student suddenly appear ker? ;p) juz couldnt wait 2 back 2 melaka (home sweet home).. hopefully can write a bit longer another time.. soonish guys!

it's May'09 already!!

phew..it's been a while since i'd updated my blog with hectic posts..(yup my life is a bit hectic at the moment..hihi) it's a month of May..(yeay! another 7 months 2 go b4 my master ended! (hopefully!) n..this month i've turned 25 (officially..) being surrounded by loving family n fwens (esp mr. z) 4 25 years do contented my life a lot.. yup there's a time when i felt so lonely (coz i want it) but most of the time i alwiz got sum1 around..yup..as a matter of fact..another 5 years 2 go b4 i can settle down..(hurm..wish it will be as quick as a blink of eyes)

owh..ye..hmm..to a "mysterious guy" who kindly gave me a wake up call..sumhow around 3-5 o'clock in the morning..tx 4 ur calling..but anyhow..i'm not that patient to sum1 who undoubtly disturbing my sleeping hour! (ask tucci how i hate ppl interrupt me when m sleeping).. n yet ur attention 2 me is highly appreciated but trust me i'm not worth for it.. xo would u mind not disturbing me anymore..TQVM

p/s cant wait to get myself some pressies..hiihi..esp end of this month..(going 2 meet him..yeay!!!)

if it's not sorry then...??

Tuhan kirimkanlah aku,
kekasih yang, baik hati,
yang mencintai aku,
apa adanya

Mawar ini, semakin layu,
tak ada yang, memiliki,
seperti, aku ini,
semakin, pupus

(munajat cinta -ahmad dhani)

[caption id="attachment_266" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="say-a-lil'-prayer"][/caption]

been into this song lately..yup..it's a slow song but i like it so much..(n recently YUNA -& SEBENARNYA..) hmm..i tend to be sum1 who alwiz shedding my tears no matter how small the thing is..(exception..xla smpi terpijak taik ayam pun nangis..huhu)..that's my biggest weakness in life..i juz lurvvve 2 cry n i dont know why..maybe that's some sort of mechanism for me 2 defend myself..(from...who? what? when? how??) recently..sum "BIG" things had happened to my life..n it was hard, tough..n i juz thought i'm not gonna make it.. sumhow i managed to get over it. n what i'd learned..i muz be strong, i cant rely on other ppl so much..n most importantly..i have to stop crying..

yup..my hands r small n i know..but they are mine..right now i gained a lot of energy n started to love myself even more..(deepest appreciation n thousands of tx dedicated to my family who alwiz be there 4 me..n supported me..thru my gud n bad times..) i knew i'd troubled myself a lot n i often forget bout me many times..i alwiz try not to hurt other ppl but it's me who hurt the most eventually.. n i hate myself 4 being sooooo ridiculous.. i am responsible for my feelings n for that reason i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery anymore..

[caption id="attachment_267" align="aligncenter" width="239" caption="losing grip"][/caption]

tx for treating me that way..n it's u who taught me to be strong..even it really cuts me deep, though

I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

Love n regards,

A.L

wishful wish after all?

hmm..i'm juz curious bout some 2@3 things that happened recently in my life..n in couple of weeks i'm adding another year in my age.. it wasnt scary me at all.. i'm too eager to find out what will happen next in my life, how will i confront those new things (hopefully), what will i be in future..n where could possibly my life leads me.. yup..every1 wish for the best in their life..it juz a matter of time n consequences (thou)

well..wutever happen in past, present or future..i knew i will face it no matter how tough things will turn up..

hopefully 25 is juz a number..another 5 years 2 turn 30..

n my biggest wish will be...

finish my master this year!!

pissed off!

sicked of a drama queen.. tired of being blamed all the times.. hmm.. some ppl dont care about the rest..just they, themselves n what they aimed for.. my progress meeting previously..well...i dont have problems with the presentation (i guessed) BUT I DO HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SOME  PPL right now!! (n dam* i mean it).. deep down inside me i really dont want 2 b rude or forget 'bout ppl who helped me..but it's so annoying when u get blamed all the times..(since i alwiz wear black doesnt mean i have that weird bad character thou!) maybe yup..it's my fault..i prefer ppl 2 assume me as a bad girl - u might have 2 know me better then u can judge me later- rather than sweet-nice-bubbly girl (which turns out 2 b not-so-innocent pun eventually..hAHA)

[caption id="attachment_253" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="so-long--"][/caption]

hmm..i tend to be soooo RUDE (n i mean that word) when it comes 2 ppl who i dislike sooo much!! i'm not a lil' angel who loves everybody (n yet i'm not going 2 b) n of coz not every1 likes me.. so 2 be fair..if u dont like me juz ignore me n i will do the same.. juz get out off my face lar ..this week will have the same manuscript writing workshop..phew.. if u dont like me why u should pick me together with all ur fav pet??!! the choosen 1 wasnt alwiz b me..but when it comes to the worst 1..yup..i'm the 1st choice after all..yet the best choice to be the worst i could say..

as i'm reaching my 3rd year in I@#$%^&***, i figured out the real meaning of being-at-the-top n how it supposed to be..if u want to be at the top of everythg u muz do whatever it takes 2 make sure it's u who alwiz be the best..n how it works? pulling ur frens 2gether to reach the golden goal? naah! dont be that innocent-nice-bubbly girl la.. instead of pulling..u have u PUSH every1 down, STEP at their back n CLIMB to their head to get to the top! in addition..u have to told every1 how pathetic u r, how ppl treat u badly, how u lead ur life so hardly (including that u r not fully supported) ..n the crucial part - u have 2 show ur best yet find the worst in ur enemy n spread it to ur boss..(afterward tell ur frens a.k.a ur enemy u will never done anythg that will ruin their reputations!) believe me it really works la..(whether u r working in lab or office)

well..as 4 me..let me be the 1 who watch all this melodramatic acts..(even it wasnt worth any cents 2 me ) juz 2 remind myself.. treat ppl the way u want to be treated (its OK 4 me if u want to be treated as H*LL ..wasnt my problem at all)

p/s sorry as i found my b*tch* level is increasing sumhow..miahahaha

Love n Regards,

A.L