chubBlicious｡◕‿◕｡

Momok datang lagi

2012-02-01T17:26:00.002+08:00

Satu bulan satu entri..boleh? haha..

Masa mula-mula dok rumah sewa dulu (yeay! Saya da berpindah..) rumah tu nearly a year takde orang stay. Sebab tuan rumah baru beli dari owner lama. Saya tak amek kisah sangat. Dan rumah tu tak lak tunjuk tanda-tanda menyeramkan. Heh. Selamba jer balik dari keja petang sabtu saya kemas sorang-sorang and tido kat 2^nd room.

Ahad nya baru balik melaka amek barang and adik. Malam tu adik tido kat hall dan saya berdengkur kat bilik saya la which is master bedroom. That night nothing happened. ~cam cerita hantu lak~

Nak dijadikan cerita, seminggu lepas pindah (tak la seminggu), malam tu malam jumaat. Kalau tak silap lepas maghrib camtu kawasan perumahan tu black-out. saya selamba lagi ~huhu ade adik kan..tak la takutzz~ pasang lilin segala jadi la terang rumah tu. And ada 1 lilin saya letak kat sinki dapur. Memang saya letak tengah-tengah and kalo setakat angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa memang takkan jatuh la. Sebelah lilin tu pulak ada penutup botol. ~haha..imagine la sendiri~

Tengah saya borak-borak dengan adik, tetiba dengar bunyik sesuatu jatuh kat dapur ~hokey tetibe goosebump la sekarang ni~ adik saya (dia berani berbanding adik bongsu saya..heh) gi la kat dapur tengok. Saya Tanya ape barang tu. Die tunjuk penutup botol sebelah lilin tu. Saya pelik sangat sebab kedudukan penutup tu memang memustahilkan untuk ia jatuh melainkan disentuh oleh zarah yang sama sifat sehingga menyebabkan ia boleh terusik dari kedudukan asal. Tapi saya senyap je. Adik pon sama.

2,3 hari lepas tu saya g beli sayur kangkung and encik rendam akar kangkung tu kat bekas plastik tepi sinki yang sama gak. Pagi-pagi before g keja memang saya xde masa la nak masak bagai tapi sempat jeling kat sinki tu. Balik keja saya tengok kangkung tu da terkeluar dari bekas tu. Saya Tanya adik nape die letak kangkung tu kat luar and tak rendam? Dia kata bukan dia and dia ingat saya yang wat. Hokey saya da amuk. Sebab keadaan kangkung tu bukan bersepah, tapi seolah-olah ada orang keluarkannya dari bekas and letak elok-elok kat tepi bekas tu.

Saya buka bilik stor and cakap..weh, ko nak dok sini aku tak halau pon, sewa pon aku tak mintak, tak payah la ko nak tolong aku masak sume. Lagi 1 xpayah nak tunjuk-tunjuk muka ko, aku tak nak kenal pon. Kalo ko kaco lagi aku panggil org halau ko.

~memang saya cakap cm2 dengan nada serius and garang..hoho~

ne saya tau die dok bilik stor? Sal belakang bilik stor ada pokok mangga besar and agak suram masa tu. And adik saya pernah dengar plastik yang saya gantung kat tombol pintu bilik tu kena usik malam-malam.

Heh.. lepas tu dia ada la mimpi macam-macam..tapi tak lama la. Things back to normal sooner than we thought. Hehe..

Mungkin?

2012-01-20T10:50:00.000+08:00

Agak malas mencoret sesuatu sebelum dan selepas tahun baru. Mungkin kah saya bakal menamatkan zaman menulis blog? Huhu.. sangat runsing sekarang. Mungkin kah kerunsingan ini akan berakhir sejajar dengan hujung januari ini? Berdebar sangat.

Minggu depan da bermula cuti panjang sempena tahun baru cina. Saya suka kan cuti dan sudah lama tak jejak ke kampung halaman. Paling penting dapat tengok muka mak, abah. Rindu sangat rasa di hati. -_-“ harus menangis kalau dapat balik hanya pada bulan Mei. Sudah 4 bulan tak balik..sedih tau!

Ada yang bertanya kenapa penutup 2011 saya komen hanya dengan lagu trauma.. harus ke saya jawab standard ala-ala datuk siti ~biarlah rahsia?~ TIDAK! ~sambil memakai selendang dan berjambul ke?~ tiba-tiba saya rasa diri seekor ayam sebab berjambul.. ;p

Saya bagi peluang terakhir untuk diri saya. Itu saja jawapan bagi lagu trauma. Selepas ini saya harusla tidak memandang ke belakang lagi takut dengan gangguan momok ke? Nanti saya cerita tentang rumah sewa saya sekarang ni. Ada kisah momok semasa saya baru pindah tahun lepas. Tapi tak boleh cerita sekarang sebab nanti momok tau saya cerita kat orang lain terus dia tunjuk muka pulak~heh!~

Tunggu saya pindah tempat baru ke baru leh cerita? Bila la leh pindah ni….

Trauma...

2011-12-31T12:19:00.000+08:00

Tiada lagi airmata
Bisa ku tangiskan lagi
Tiada lagi guna bermadah
Tempatku bukannya di sini

Sepuluh tahun ku menghamba padamu
Tak ku pinta lebih daripada
Tulus cinta
Namun kau menoda
Berkecai mahligai kita

Tidak pernahkah kau terfikir
Kemungkinan yang berakhir
Tidak pernahkan tersingkap di minda
Wajah kita sekeluarga

Sekelip mata berubah segalanya
Tiba-tiba dunia daku
Gelap gelita
Tak menentu hala
Melihat kau bersamanya

Trauma yang melanda
Menikam-nikam jiwa
Selemah ku lemah
Daku berserah
Trauma yang ku rasakan
Hanya pada Mu Tuhan
Yang memahami
Pedih di hati
Tiada pengubat bisa merawat luka
Ku dalam trauma...

Walau seribu pujuk rayu
Tak mengubah pendirianku
Sekali kau menduakanku
Selamanya tertutup pintu

Biar daku membawa diri ini
Pergi jauh takkan kembali
Ku mencari
Ketenangan hati
Cuba lenyapkan trauma ini

Trauma yang melanda
Menikam-nikam jiwa
Selemah ku lemah
Daku berserah
Trauma yang ku rasakan
Hanya pada Mu Tuhan
Yang memahami
Pedih di hati
Tiada pengubat bisa merawat luka
Ku dalam trauma...

kesimpulan untuk 2011.

end

Rindu..sila pergi jauh-jauh

2011-12-23T16:49:00.004+08:00

Hujung-hujung tahun biasanya mengamit rindu pada sesuatu. Apetah lagi pagi ini dapat emel dari kenalan satu group tesis. He sent a paper of our research. Hati saya bagai diseru-seru. Malam tadi saya membelek salinan tesis untuk diemel kan kepada cik junior saya ~bride-to-be..ehem~ she’s helping to write a research paper about my project. ~ye projek cik cacing~

curik dr fb cik sue ;p yer saya tidak malu bergambar dengan ekspresi muka yang buruk! lol

Seketika tadi saya mula mengaktifkan facebook. Dan terlihat la gambar yang diupload oleh group institusi research kami dulu. Gambar tentang seminar~yet student progress presentation~ rindu! Yer..masa dulu saya selalu mengeluh sebab saya la orang yang selalu paksa rela kena present projek saya -_-“ dahla dulu project leader meWAJIBkan student projek naungannya bentangkan kemajuan tiap-tiap dua minggu sekali. In english btw >.< bagi peminat tegar belacan harusla English saya berterabur sana sini berbanding student lain yang makanan hariannya spegetti dan keju ~sungguh hiperbola~

present kolokium siswazah -again curik dr fb org..kali ni en apai

makan-makan kat pantri student..heaven!

Rindu nak mengantuk-mengantuk dalam seminar lepas tu bertebaran menjamu diri dengan jamuan kecil. Harus la ada neskepi dan kuih muih barang seketul dua..hihi. biasa kalau datang lab harus pagi dalam pukul 8.30. pastu breakfast dengan team kapak sumbing. Biasa tapau and makan sesama dalam pantry. Owh..sangat rindu bihun singapore unikeb + daging black pepper.

Lunch pulak paling rindu dengan laksa unikeb (lagik?), siput sedut dan ikan bakar..ke? drooling sangat-sangat..huhu. dalam kul 3.30 ke 4.00 ptg harusla menum petang. Nescafe o cecah beskut hup seng ke? Sambil bergosip-gosip, tukar-tukar cerita, sesi luahan perasaan dan lain-lain. Kul 5.00 leh balik da. Hoorey.. dan best nya negeri selangor banyak cuti! Hoorey lagi..harus la balik kampung dengan senang hati walaupun highway ke Seremban selalu jem.. ;p

Rindu nak stress-kan diri dengan siapkan slide untuk meeting, berebut-rebut hantar emel ke SV (dengan harapan first come first serve ke?), rindu nak berdebar-debar bertentang mata dengan project leader, rindu pada UKM, rindu pada semua nya..

rindu zaman kegemukan ke? hahahaha

tadaaa..team meeting masa kat langkawi kalau tak silap..sila buntangkan biji mata kalau tak nampak..huhu

meroyan sikit: -_-“ sepatutnya saya balik kg minggu ni…tapi rumah punya pasal terpaksa tangguh percutian -_-“

sedey sangat tau!!!!!!!

p/s favicon ade gambar mashi maro atas toilet bowl sambil kat kepala ade pengepam toilet..motip?? ;p

Chenta ati saya ^_^

2011-12-10T13:01:00.004+08:00

Tahun 1997-1999

Masa zaman sekolah dulu suka sangat dengan group ni. Paling suka mestilah AJ Mclean (ala-ala bad boys gitu) jatuh hati sangat-sangat tau. Benci kalau ada orang muka sama macam encik AJ ni. Sebab tak nak ati jatuh kat mereka ke? Hahahha..gedik! wajib kumpul apa-apa majalah ke suratkhabar ke yang ada gambar BSB. Jatuh chenta kalau AJ tak pakai spek itamnye..imej die harus la pakai spek, berantai, bermisai, buka baju sikit tunjuk singlet *_*

Tahun 2000-2001

Da dok asrama masa ni. Dedahan terhadap dunia luar da kureng sikit. Masa ni la jinak-jinak dengan dunia chatting. Adalah minat sikit-sikit kat abam-abam senior yang muka ganas-ganas (~~exco agama ke? Ehem ehem..gatal tekak~~) takde chenta ati kot masa ni..eh ke ada? Sebab masa ni tengah hangat telenovela sepanyol. Ye baru ingat sebab tengah hangat demam sepanyol masa ni da jatuh chenta dengan Enrique Iglesias *_* (ala-ala bad boys gak ke?)

motip letak gambar abam johnny? hahahah ;p

Tahun 2002-2003

Da start demam cerita korea ni. Harus ke minat encik Jun Sang winter sonata? Hahaha.. lepas matrik baru layan cerita ni. Start masuk asrama dulu da kurang layan tv. Hari ahad je kadang-kadang turun tengok “melodi” –stereotype kaedahnya ;p

*_* jatuh chenta dengan hyun bin sebab lesung ~~batu~~ pipit ke?

Tahun 2004-2006

Ni da tak ingat da. Rasa macam tak minat sape-sape. Mungkin sebab terlalu focus kat study ~ hahaha..poyo~

2~~001- currently: encik…heh! malu letak font besar !!!!~~

jugak ada lesung ~~batu~~ pipit..hihi

Haruslah lelaki ini sentiasa jadi pojaan hati…encik pon tak leh komen pape walaupon dia selalu kata lelaki ini G**..~oh tidak!~

Domestic violence

2011-12-09T12:54:00.002+08:00

She’s young, smaller than yours truly and newly-wed. Ironically, she’s been beaten by her husband –the one who eagerly wanted to marry her, pleaded and promised to take care of her until her last breath- almost three months from the day they were declared as husband and wife legally.

Last Tuesday I received a call in the early morning. It was from her saying she’s taking an MC as she’s not feeling well. And I was like, ok. Then she texted me saying she’d been beaten by her husband. *_* I was shocked. I told her to tell the police for this domestic violence. I knew from her previous story that this guy was a bit psycho even before they were engaged and get married. And I was surprised they were finally married after a few cracks in their relationship. But I was thinking maybe things will turn out to be ok for them and they can live happily ever after like some fairy tales.

Love can be blind. Yes? He didn’t just slap her –kicked, beat using wood and belt. And idk more- 2 days later her husband called office and told that this poor lady won’t be working until next Monday as she fell at the toilet. -_-“ We knew the whole story and he kept pretending as that lady was clumsy. Whathe**** -_-“ we tried to call her but the phone was off until the moment i posted this entry. Her sister visited her house yesterday but no one was there -_-" we don't know what happened to her currently. Had reported to police but no updates until now.

She’s your lady, the one cooks for you, take cares of your laundry and whatevermarriedpeopledo… how could you possibly treat any woman like that?

Am not fighting for woman’s right nor man-haters. I’m just getting sick of the violences that happened to children, women, and old-folks.

The world should be a better place.

Deactivate

2011-12-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

Ini kali kedua rasanya.. kali pertama masa encik cemburu giler2 ~haha..lawak~ masa tu umur I baru 24thn ~muda tau masa tu.. ~ blog pon I delete..atas sebab keselamatan.. yang I ingat semua sebab ada sorang lelaki giler s**s (a.k.a kawan encik sendiri) detail lain I tak leh recall da ~da tua kan..ingatan tak berapa bagus~

Kali ni sebab I sendiri..bohsan la..game pon takde yang best da. I suka tengok gambar and update kawan2..especially kalau diaorang gi travel..tak dapat gi..tengok pun jadi la ~huhu..pathetic jer bunyik~ hidup I pon sekarang ni bohsan jer..takde yang menarik nak update kengkawan.. nanti la kalo da ada anak sorang baru la I aktifkan balik ~hahahaha..yang ni I sendiri tak leh jamin bila ;p~

Sabtu lepas gi bayar bil orang kuning. Kebetulan parkson ada wat sale ujung tahun *_* nangis sangat bile nampak set comforter less 70%. Tak tau la I sorang jer yang rasa or kuantan ni sejuk sikit dari kg I.. haha. Mungkin musim tengkujuh kot.. harus la berselimut tebal plus berstokin baru lelap tido ~ hazab jer..walhal letak kepala kat bantal da berdengkur~ tunggu gaji masyuk nanti harus la amek 1… ^_^

Dengan Celcom broadband yang macam beskut chipsmore ni.. xdapat lagi ngedate gambar2 bercoti ala2 kat pulau jeju ;p kene ngedate kat opis la nampaknyer.. kengkawan jgn carik I kt fesbuk.. I nyahaktifkan diri sementara waktu.. I tak delete uolls pon..

P/s: eksen ko yer..suami ku sorang exec..ko mampu..?

Pe kes? -_-“

1st dec 2011

2011-12-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

Bos tak nak guna service airpak da.. da bertukar ke gdex. Macam biasa.. pape hal berkaitan office mestila I kene uruskan -_-“ (keje admin bukan senang.. yer betol!) kalau berurusan dengan supplier muka ala2 hero korea sangat la selesa sebab mereka ramah, baik dan selalu bukakan pintu untuk i..(ceh..gedik!)

Panggilan khusus untuk I dari encik kwsp, telekom dan sewaktu dengannya adalah sangat merimaskan. -_-“ encik bos lepas tangan jer semua kat I (sigh..tugas ana..tugas.. ;p) sebulan pertama selepas puan kerani resign dulu memang I kelam kabut.. semua pon kene handle sendiri.. (tp badan tak susut hokeh!) sekarang..office lagi kemas dari dulu, file pon I xrunsing cari ( sendiri susun sendiri tau la ;p) bahagia dok office sorang2..lalalalala

harusla tergoda kan *_*

Masih mencari rumah sewa baru sebab I dapat jiran meroyan sekarang ni. Harapan nak beli rumah tapi harus la pegang skrol sarjana dulu. Akan upload gambar bercoti dengan family nanti.. bahagia sekejap bila mak datang rumah.. betol la.. rumah lebih berseri kalo ade mak n abah.. ^_^.. lepas pindah rumah sewa baru datang lagi ek..(hihi)

Notajarikakidemok:

Cik gdex: I kenal u la cik hana.. u da lama keje kan..

Cikna chubby: *_* ~senyum jer~ dalam hati “ I baru je setahun kat bumi kuantan ni”.. hahahaha

Setahun~lama la kot~ ke muka I muka biase2..ala2 familiar gitu..hihi..~

Bitter

2011-11-19T11:34:00.000+08:00

I tried my best in everything. I do. But if those eyes can’t see it there’s nothing else I can do. Winning the heart wasn’t the main reason..but to be appreciated and treated like one should do. Anyhow..this woman is surrender.

It can’t be teach, can’t be learn nor copy. It should be deep inside the heart which one belongs –feel it and cherish it the moment it lasts. The longer these eyes see, the bigger such pain cause to bleed. Yet they can avoid it but for how much long must they suffer?

There shall be an empty spaces here..the loneliness for those years –if I let them appear they would stay forever. The specific path should be choose –may it will not cause so much misery nor more than it ever done to anyone else.

lil' wish

2011-11-19T11:15:00.000+08:00

Hardly got any ideas to post anything. belek-belek folder gambar lame jumpa sesuatu.. Owh..ya..wishlist tahun ni da tercapai satu tapinya..hihi..bahagia jap.

I always wanted a dslr..but then I changed it to cybershot ~di sini~ (yeah..dreams are hard to achieve..lol) and I know someone will always granted my wish ~wee…maceh mak~

Lepas ni leh posing2 maut kat mane2 ke? Hihihi

it will rain..surely

2011-11-04T13:09:00.000+08:00

November.

Almost the end of 2011. Slightly different from previous years as I live closer to him now. Lots of hectic, arguments, tears, fights, laughter and joys. Yet I do enjoyed it. For him become my best friend, my foe, my big brother, my father, my family, seems everything in fairy tales.

OK I LIED.

There’s no fairy tales. LOL. If I happened to have daughters I won’t allow them to read any fairy tales story especially an ugly duckling and Alice in wonderland. ~even both are my favorites among the others~ haha.

There’s only a reality and destiny. Reality is what we are now at the particular moment, while destiny is the path that we choose at the exact moment when a choice has to be made at instant time. ~source: me, myself & co..lalalala~ you can dream as much as you like, as high as you can aim.. but sometimes it’s good to have a miniscule dream and achieve it yourself.

In my tiny little heart I have a dream that I know I can achieve it one day. Even the day seems so far away..perhaps if I put my heart and soul I can really achieve it. However, I am, somehow, met with the wrong person at the wrong time. But did I regret it? Nope. I didn’t get what I want but I found something else. A lesson of a life times how you should not repeat it at any moment in your life.

Surely it will rain sometimes. But if I keep holding onto my umbrella, I won’t be totally wet.

source: google..

that woman

2011-10-14T16:28:00.001+08:00

One woman loves you.
That woman loves you wholeheartedly.
She follows you around like a shadow everyday,
That woman is laughing and crying.

Just How..How much more do I have to gaze at you alone.
This love that came like the wind, This love like a beggar.
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearer..a little more..
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back.
I who love you am next to you now.
That woman is crying.

That woman now is very careful
Therefore, to learning a method of smile
Even can not talk with best friend … too much
So the woman’s heart is always crying
So that woman…is loving you…
Such a fool. Because it is such a fool
can you hug me?
I also want to be loved, my dear
Day by day in my heart, only in my heart…
just like this calling you
That woman, is still in your side

That woman… is me, do you know ?
Or You know it but still act this ?
You really do not know,because you´re a big fool …
Just How..How much more do I have to gaze at you alone.
This love that came like the wind, This love like a beggar.
If I continue this way, will you love me?
Just come a little nearer..a little more..
If I take one step closer to you, then you take two steps back.
I who love you am next to you now.
That woman is crying.

That woman -ost secret garden
mode: ke laut at the moment

Until the time is through

2011-10-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

Not yet. Not ready. Not surrender.

Numb.

Talk to myself.

Be patience with me in time being.

Still me. Still need it. Didn’t care of others.

Yet.. as time goes by..

Will prepare for it.

Still not this time.

Quick Fever

2011-10-07T11:46:00.000+08:00

Maybe it’s a heat-shock. Maybe it’s a symptom of fatigue. Or maybe just cause. Maybe I don’t need reasons to be sick. It’s just me.

I often want to be a superwoman. Independently do everything on my own. Haven’t got a good rest just a lame reason for not doing anything. Well, it’s just a thought. Who knew a thought is just a thought until you face the consequences.

I didn’t listen to my body nor believe in whatever it can or can’t. I just don’t know the limit. Suddenly it crashed. Yes, I felt numb for a while; my body started aching at the neurons, light headache and I can’t breath in my normal room temperature (which I always set at 28 Celsius).

At the end of the day, it was me all alone who facing the pain. This is it. This is the end. I have to stop not listening to my body and start to believe in everything it can takes, the boundaries itself. I used to believe if we keep pampering ourselves, we wouldn’t be strong enough to face anything. But I was wrong. To be able to face everything, first we must trust ourselves. Without trust, anything else doesn’t matter.

Perhaps I just need rest. And yes after taking a day off, pampering myself –not doing overload work- I feel refresh. Going to work, finish the unsettled tasks, and happily, being myself as usual.

And today - remains the unhealthy-sick-bore-to-death-me again. LOL! Who am I to fool? Obviously I need six-months-holiday twice a year.. ~huh~

Day Ten : 10 final words

2011-10-06T11:04:00.000+08:00

One word..

If u want to be happy then be..

Day Nine : 10 ways to win your heart

2011-10-05T16:02:00.000+08:00

Seriously..i don’t know.. but if I happened to like u..then u’ve got the way..LOL

Day Eight : 10 of your favourite songs

2011-10-04T10:41:00.000+08:00

-mi vida sin ti – el original

-that man –hyun bin

-move like jagger –maroon 5
-today was a fairy tale -taylor swift
-more than words- extreme
-my favourite mistake-sheryl crow
-ku menunggu -rossa

-erm..currently listening to Korean'S song from soundtrack of various drama ..ngehngehngeh

Day Seven : 10 important people

2011-10-03T10:30:00.001+08:00

-5 important person (my family) + encik = 6

-myself

-still figure out 3 more ;p

Day Six : 10 items you can't live without

2011-10-02T10:57:00.001+08:00

-encik comot –my car-
-white gold ring ^_^

-patrick –used to be fluffy one time ago ;p

-phone –a gift from mom..

-wallet –also a gift from mom

-notebook

-bracelet –a gift from mom

-pencil case –lots of pens there

-food
-water...LOL

Day Five : 10 wishes

2011-10-01T10:00:00.001+08:00

one biggest wish is enough ^_^

~For people I love and care to live happily without hesitation and crucial sickness..~

Day Four : 10 things you want to say to one person

2011-09-30T11:55:00.001+08:00

-im sorry

-saranghea yo....

Day Three : 10 things you hate

2011-09-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

-spider

-dirty toilet

-folding clothes

-ironing

-washing dishes

-hello kitty

-red lipstick

-singing while taking a shower

-smoking

-cursing

Day Two : 10 things you love

2011-09-28T11:00:00.002+08:00

-holiday

-cleaning the house

-wash clothes

-cooking

-baking

-spongebob and friends

-movies

-ice creams

-purple~licious

-research

Day One : 10 things about you

2011-09-27T10:52:00.003+08:00

-a daughter

-a sister

-an ongoing-student-for-i-don’t-know-how-long

-a worker

-an independent woman-still-in-a-making

-a clumsy girl

-a dreamer-whose-aim-for-the-highest-once-in-a-blue-moon

-a friend and foe –for-my-significant-one

-a good listener

-a good talker –if-i-knew-you-long-enough

lagi-lagi cabaran

2011-09-27T10:49:00.002+08:00

hihi...new challenges..kali ni 10 hari jer..dapat ke tak..tak tahu la..tp kene try la..

ni dia..

Day One :

10 things about you

Day Two :

10 things you love

Day Three :

10 things you hate

Day Four :

10 things you want to say to one person

Day Five :

10 wishes

Day Six :

10 items you can't live without

Day Seven :

10 important people

Day Eight :

10 of your favourite songs

Day Nine :

10 ways to win your heart

Day Ten :

10 final words

dapat masa tengah wat blogwalking..ececececeh...
dengan ucapan..
aja-aja fighting...

Cereka-ceriki...haissshhh

2011-09-14T12:58:00.000+08:00

Sekarang ni I da jarang-jarang nak update status bagai kat fb. Dan kadang-kadang je I komen kat status kawan-kawan. Login fb selalu la. Just nak tengok update and gambar-gambar kawan-kawan. Macam trend lak orang-orang zaman millennium ni.. semua gambar pun nak masukkan dalam fb. ~well..tak kisah la..fb ko kan *tangan ke dada mata ke ats * lol~

So kawan-kawan seusia I ni ~lewat 20an..pfff~ ramai la yang dok khabarkan kat fb da pregnant la, da masuk hospital nak bersalin la, letak gambar newborn baby la..paling tak menahan nama budak-budak sekarang. Huhu..harusla berbelit nak menyebut plus panjang berjela…~whatever la..anak ko kan..~

Ahad lepas I g la kenduri kahwin colleague. Mujur gi belah lelaki nyer pihak (kawan I perempuan). Kalau pergi ari sabtu tu harusla I kene cuci periuk semua sebab after pengantin berarak makanan segala pon da diangkut oleh sanak sedara ;p.. tengah makan-makan encik tanya berapa kos cik pengantin buat majelis kat hotel 3 bintang. I cakap tak tau. Pastu encik kata die nak wat kat dewan kalo leh. Mak aih –I telan nasi pun cam tercekik- matila I kene pura-pura jadi wanita melayu terakhir kalo kene bersanding bagai. -_-“

Pastu I cakap kat encik.. xpayah la, I kalau leh nak wat yang wajib jer. Tunang-bersanding ni semua tak penting. Kalo encik nak wat kat dewan tah apetah lagi..encik bersanding sorang la. –sampai ke tua la I xkawen gamaknyer kalo harus bersanding-silat-berpelamin bagai-

Tapiiiiiii…………………………

Semua pun bila I da konvo master..my life will be incomplete if I didn’t put an end to what I have started years ago. Sebab I ada cita-cita nak ada phd before 40 ^_^ terpaksa la cari balik update journal. Manuskrip pon banyak kena gubal plus kene wat proposal la in case nak sambung phd. Bila fikir masa depan terus tersenyum sorang-sorang. Hihi.

Nota di pintu: letak nama anak Kasihku Tak Beropol dengan Jejaka Idaman Gadis Semalaya..boleh? hahahaah

Aging and Pride

2011-09-08T17:04:00.001+08:00

Woman and age.. do you know a simple question like “how old are you?” might consider as life-threatening? LOL. Me? I used to tell people I’m 18 all the time. but not at this tender age of late 20s (see… it’s a taboo to tell your age ;p ) when people ask me what’s my age..i would tell my real age. Its an honour to be this old (well old is cruel word- I preferred senior ~_^ ).

And I don’t mind if I were buying something and the salesgirl called me “Kak” (or Sis). Even it’s obvious the salesgirl looks older than me. It’s ok. It’s an honour when people called you such a way ~smile~ I presume they do respect me ..(just my expectations). And I am most likely feel honoured when a man called me “Kak” not “adik “ or younger names. (agasshi is acceptable..haha) for me..when a man called you “adik” or “dik” seems like he can makes fun of me coz I’m younger. It’s a big no to me. Here..even the colleagues 3-4 years older than me..i would call myself as “kakak” when I’m talking to them. Sound serious? Huhu.. yesh I can like you as my younger brother or sister but never the eldest. For me my biological brother is my only big bro…while encik/ahjussi is my only oppa.. (mode: gegeli). Big sister.. would I? NO.

But everything seems like a joke when my aunt came visit us at my home during last hari raya. Yesh..I am pixie compared to my other family members. Her son asked me my age. I smiled and said “27…but I do look young izzit?” (I was joking hokey.. coz I can sense the next question will be bout tying-some-knot..huh) and that my aunt said..”yalah..i was going to say the same..you haven’t age since last I saw u. maybe coz u look cute as school girl” when was the last time i saw her..i'm not sure but surely within my high school year. ROFL.. And she asked whether I’m joking bout being same age as my cousin who now has 3 kids…(whilst sum1 and her “bff” seemed annoyed when people keep saying me being younger than 27-looks compared to her bff a.k.a her daughter who older than me)

Silly izzit? There’s a time when people mistakenly assume I’m a kid when hearing my voice on the phone or asking whether I have an IC or not (wait..do I look like pendatang haram? LOL), and stuffs.. but I know I wasn’t so fresh, so innocent yet so fragile as teenager. I’d through a lot during my childhood, continue in my teenager life and now I can proudly say I’m a grown woman.

P/s to sum1 and her “bff”;

Everything you’ve said, you’ve done to me.. I’ll keep it tight in my heart.. No, it’s not revenge, just a reminiscent of my tiny heart. And doing all that nasty things u did to me to other people just showing how rotten you are. Your daughter will be sum1 wife (if not sooner, later then) and to duplicate you in such a way surely makes her a “wonderful” person.

F.a.i.t.h

2011-08-22T12:02:00.001+08:00

Forget bout the 30 days challenge. I now have to challenge myself even more ~sigh~ .. even life is not a fairy tale, I do wish some miracles could be happen. But as unlucky as I am.. those wishes could never be granted.

No I didn’t lose hope nor give up my life a bit. I know it’s the hardest path I have to choose and yet it already picked me. Let me be in my own wonderland as no one could fit in it except me. For that I might giving u up.. Then thou shalt lead your life better without me..

Lord, please give him all my happiness and health for I will exchange with his pain, sickness and sad moment in his life. Please give him all the smiles and time of my life for I will carry his loneliness and emptiness. Please give him all the love I have, heart that I’ve received for I will take his sorrow with me.

30 hari mencari chenta

2011-08-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

dandan i nak cabar diri sendiri..ekekeke..takla. cabaran ni i kutip dari blogwalking ~pff..nak gak kan~ hokey2..cabarannyer.. ~sempena bulan pose ni~

30 days blogging challenge:

~~Day 1 — Your favorite song~~
~~Day 2 — Your favorite movie~~
~~Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.~~
~~Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.~~
~~Day 5 – How important you think education is?~~
~~Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.~~
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of our favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 13 – Your views on drugs and alcohol
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your view on homosexuality.
Day 17 – How you hope your future will be like.
Day 18 – 5 things that irritate ME about opposite/same sex
Day 19 – Your reflection in the mirror
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – Who are you?
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you want to go.
Day 27 – What kind of person attracts you?
Day 28 – In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days

~semoga i bersikap serius semasa membuat cabaran ini hokey~

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

2011-08-07T00:00:00.000+08:00

~not glamorous, not grand, not enormous..just a simple wedding with only family and close friend..

that's how i wanna be yours forever.. ~

ekekekke..mode gegeli

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

2011-08-06T11:22:00.000+08:00

tadaa...honey badger ^_^

Day 5 – How important you think education is?

2011-08-05T11:17:00.000+08:00

it is important to me..how important? like so much..in fact i do wanna get my PHD before 40 ~can't target in 30's as it is imposibble i guess for me~ i don't care much bout what people think i am..but i do wanna have something that one day i could tell my children to follow my way LOL.

i had heard enough dialog such as...do learn well in school, u might not want to end up like me ~so much in malays drama nowadays~ as for me..i wanna be able to tell my kids one day...do learn well in school, u should end up like me, perhaps better. ;p

i am straight in education. if u wanna learn from me then tears will be ur best friend. hey, people didnt call me fierce for no reason...Hahaha!

aww..wanted to have me own library in me house..perhaps one day

Day 4 -favorite photograph of your best friend

2011-08-04T11:58:00.000+08:00

aww..can't decide which is my favourite so..i just put what ever i can found from my fb and my frens'..

Form 4 Sc 10 2000

Form 5 Sc 10 2001

Pantri Inbiosis ...somewhere in 2009 I guess

early 2009 -son of kak chah

Beraya kat PD..rumah huda

buka puasa 2009 with puan Zian santek

there she is..huhu

early 2010 -gym at Putrajaya

hihi..

BBQ at sungai congkak

sweet memories after all

Day 3 -perfect first date

2011-08-03T11:19:00.001+08:00

hmmmm.. it is a subjective question by the way. Depends on oneself. me? Other than Disneyland.. i really want to have a date in Ice-cream parlour...huhuhu

but wait..it wasn't my imaginary date only after all ~pff..typical girl~ actually apart from being unrealistic girl ~as usual~ It means something to me and a person who's m going to date here. It is indeed a fun place. ~Noted: for me ice-cream do symbolizes happy and excitement..LOL~

If he can't adapt with the happiness around and enjoy himself at such a place then he rather be a serious person or he is a bored man =P If he doesn't want to eat ice cream then he might have diabetes or he don't like sweet things or he is a hypocrite ~hey..who doesn't like ice-cream for god sake~ if he doesn't want to share ice cream with me then he can't share his life with me ~but this can be considered i guess..maybe he doesn't open much to strangers..huhu~

well..it won't be perfect for other people for their first date..but for me..it is.. ^_^

Day 2 - Favourite movie

2011-08-02T11:18:00.001+08:00

I love “white chicks” movie like so much. I can even remembered every dialog they spoke in the film ^_^.. it’s a comedy film and can’t tell you how many times I watched it over and over again without getting sick of it.

It’s a simple movie though. A story about two FBI agents who have to pick up the Wilson’s sister ~VIP’s daughter..pffff~ from the airport. On the way back to their hotel ~which happened to be in Hamptons~ they had an accident. And the sisters unfortunately have scars ~well its not really a scar..it just a minor cut on their lips and nose..but u just love how they over-reacted in that situation..LOL~

So, these two agents, Kevin and Marcus have to “become” those sisters. And the film gets more exciting when they pretend to be girls. Furthermore, the song “thousand miles” also featured in this film. ^_^

I don’t know bout y’all..but me? I love it!

day 1-favourite song

2011-08-01T15:11:00.004+08:00

my all time favourite song ~big grin~

Words are all I have to take your heart away… yes.. I do love when my significant one say he loves me.. but do I like to hear it everyday without he mean it? NO. as for me.. I don’t want it to be our routine.. y’all know like we MUST say it every time we ended our phone call, or wish goodnight sleep ~don’t let bugs bite your –else-im-gonna-bite-them~.. I am indeed a simple girl. Just say it once; mean it and I couldn’t as for more.

Yet, he don’t have to tell me how ridiculous I look when I’m in the middle of processing his instructions, or how bad my cook was yesterday as I accidentally put salt according to my taste buds, or how funny my face expression every time he make fun of me. I know myself very clear *_* the term is same. Say it once, mean it and get ready to be in war mode with me for entire 5 mins LOL

mine not urs

2011-07-30T11:22:00.000+08:00

I LOVE

I NEED

I ALWAYS

EVENTUALLY..

Despicable me;

thou shalt dream

2011-07-30T10:57:00.005+08:00

Dreams. Absurd. Full stop.

Once we were child we kept dreaming of what we’re going to be when we get old. As time goes us by, we knew we have to wake up from that entire sweet dream and lead our life as it used to. Full stop.

A little girl biggest dream is to find a prince charming to save her from her evil stepmother or monster or dragon or even the loneliness itself. Thanks to fairy tales who taught us this. Reality is, there’s no prince charming in real life. There’s only Mr. Right who will appear eventually after a lot of frogs we have to kiss. Full stop.

A boy ~well..i don’t know about boys *rolling eyes~ perhaps dreaming to become a F1 driver or a superhero who saves the world, or become one of the transformers ~in my opinion~ Yet, unlike girls, they tend to think of their current life more then what they will be one day. Finding a princess? NEVER. Who wants having a “either-my-way-or-no-way” Queen-wanna-be in their life? Full stop.

I don’t have an enormous dream in my life. Nope. Compare to other people mine is minuscule. Seriously. Somehow even the minuscular one seems to be very hard to wish, don’t mind achieve it. Am I upset? Nope. ~A little I supposed~ Full stop.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

-Edgar Allan Poe

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

-Carl Jung

Sooner or later…we always have to wake up

meroyan lagi

2011-07-29T17:04:00.001+08:00

Huhu..sebelum I menulis lebih panjang..izinkan I montah ijo kat karpet opis yang sejuk ni ~uwek..uwek..~ lalalala

Hokey..2 hari before bulan pause ni I nak meroyan lagi la..~asal cikna je keje nye meroyan..~lantakla ade i kesah..hihi (gelak sambil tutup ~~muka~~ molut ala-ala wanita lindungan lampu pendaflour) kisah nyer begini…

Semalam

Line phone kat opis i ni kene potong ~ bos lupe nak bayar..i da awal2 bagi semua bil kat die..tapi die yang seminggu sekali jejak kaki kat ~~tanah~~ opis selalu terlupa nak g membayar~ so akibatnye I la yang kene telefon operator 2,3 kali sehari nak pastikan penyambungan semula. TELEKOM yang amat mesra pelanggan ni memang tak leh nak call operator dorang guna no TELEKOM sendiri kalo talian da deactivate ~ thanks digi walaupon kadang2 fon I kene barred tetap leh call customer servis F.O.C~ pastu dahla nak call customer service punya la banyak iklan yang dorang dok BEBEL sana sini..jimatkan masa la, boleh sms cek baki la, itula inila.. then banyakla direktori kene dial..tekan 2 untuk pertanyaan bil, da tekan 2 ade pulak option tekan 1 untuk pertanyaan bil, tekan 2 untuk pembayaran ~sebelum tekan option tu OF COURSE la banyak iklan lagi~ hati da panas ni…

Lagi2 bila fikir kredit da makan bape hengget la pulak ni.. bila tekan option 1, ade lagi kene tekan, 1 untuk layan diri, 2 untuk bercakap dengan pegawai bertugas ~hangin lagi..tahan…~ pas da 5 mehnet dok dengar iklan pelbagai dan tekan itu ini..baru la dengar nada talian memanggil ~ok..lega sikit la kan..at least berakhir sebuah penantian~ HAMPEHNYER…”harap maaf semua pegawai kami sedang sibuk..kami akan melayan anda secepat mungkin” -_-“ HELLO..PUKUL 8.45 PAGI HOKEY! Takkan la dalam masa yang sama 1MALAYSIA dok call customer service TELEKOM?? Da 7 mehnet lebih I dok gayut kat phone dengar iklan tahapeapetah..dandan lak semua pegawai sibuk!! Tension tak hinggat.

Semalam 3kali I call TELEKOM..3 kali gak la perkara yang sama berlaku. Da 7 MEHNET baru ade pegawai Tanya ~itu pun dok Tanya nama, no phone, no akaun~ eh…xde dalam database korang ke? –masih lagi hangin- jawapan yang sama “kami akan sambung dalam masa 24 jam” in fact bos I g bayar pukul 12.00 25.07.11 by CASH. Tak kan la xaktif2 lagi.. -_-“ kalo by cheque I leh consider lagi.. last I call kul 4.30 petang semalam. Jawapan yang sama. I still bengang lagi-lagi those 3 calls already costs me almost RM 30+ ~my kredits~

Hari ini

tapi i lagi vogeh la..dengan tudung simpul-simpul kaedahnyer ;p

I call lagi customer service TELEKOM ~yeah..after 24hours the line still deactivated~ again..rutin yang sama.. n worst..3kali I call started 8.30 until 9.00 am.. “SEMUA pegawai kami sedang sibuk” whatthe -_-“ last I call baru la ade cik adik yang angkat.. maafla adik yer..kamu la yang kene lahar dengan I -_-“ and guess what she told me “kami akan cuba aktifkan line dalam masa 24 jam”

*_* this a big NO to me.. then I told her “ hello miss..i da call dari semalam and pegawai u asyik kata 24hrs.. ni da lebih 24hrs. U could have been told me that the activation will take proximately 1 weeks then I akan puas hati jugak la. But no…urs asyik kata 24 jam.. dahla nak call talian ni punya la payah nak tembus, and yours truly bukan pakai line TELEKOM nak call u 2,3,4 kali sehari. I call pakai handset tau. Dahla call operator sendiri tak boleh kalo line da deactivate. Time nak potong kemain laju jer..bila nak sambung dok beritau 24jam, 24jam.. “ cik adik 2 terkedu kene lahar dengan I hokey -_-“

after 1 hour line da activate balik ~I gerenti I kene maki kaw2 dgn cik adik n kwn2 die..sebab I call dari semalam punyala penuh kelembutan perempuan melayu mutakhir..tapi hari ni I lahar pegawai bertugas..huhu~ n kul 3 tadi I dapat 5 msg dari TELEKOM mengatakan line I da aktif ~sampai 5kali dorang anta..jangan memain..~ maaf la yang kene laharin tu..bukan sengaja ;p

owh yer.. nak meroyan tang status fb pulak ~duhh….rolling eyes~ adela kawan I ni..baru kawin la 2,3 bulan yang lepas.. pas2 bese la orang baru kawin sume nyer wangi cam baru berchenta ~aik..xde pengalaman k..just tengok kat persekitaran je~ yang tak daya tu..die g letak status ala-ala lalucah gitu…

“(nama wife) sedia untuk beraksi malam ni” -_-“ tau la malam jumaat..tapi whatthe kan..

then adela pulak 2,3 status die update gak ~I malas nk tulis. Tetiba status die siap tulis doa before bersama suami isteri bersama -_-“ ~bile makan tak pulak ko nak update status doa makan bagai~ huk aloh..kemaruk pon simpan jelah hal suami isteri dalam lemari hokey..

~edisi cikna meroyan ke 2~

jatuh chenta..ati berdarah

2011-07-25T17:22:00.000+08:00

sume harga rm 500++ hokey..ori Coach ma..

kalo dapat mau kembang idung jalan2 keliling EC Mall..hukhuk

p/p/s: pasrah (sambil mengalir air mata)

just for fun

2011-07-21T17:24:00.001+08:00

mine : ~~beautiful, lovely~~, epic..LOL

cita-cita setinggi langit

2011-07-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

sudah Julai ni..cecita i masih lagi tak tercapai. (sebenarnya seribu tahun pon tak kan mungkin untuk i gapai cecita ni sume) hasrat murni tu ada..tapi... meh la kita sesame tengok pe lah cecita murni cikna tahun ni (or mungkin tahun-tahun yang da berlalu dan akan datang)

i makhluk ~~tuhan yang paling seksi~~ yang sangat sukakan kasut. YE! (berdiri sambil penuh azam) i paling ske kasut ala-ala gladiator gitu.

teet! bukan jenis ni.. (tetibe terbayang sheena the warrior lak aku ni)

tapi begini..(rolling eyes)

namun malangnyer.. kaki i hanya la sepasang kaki yang "comel", tulang yang disaluti beberapa inci lemak dan beberapa cm daging pejal.. maka agak tak berapa nak cantik la untuk bergaya dengan kasut begini. waima sebenarnya, i sangat alergik dengan kasut bertumit tinggi a.k.a heels... disebabkan i akan tersadung walaupun memakai kasut 1 inci lalu i terpaksa menghapuskan cecita untuk bergaya dengan heels 7 inci (mata berair-air.. selamat tinggal kim-k wannabe) LOL

camni la gaya nye kalo i pakai heels.. tapi Kim K terpeleot santik la berbanding i (hehe)

anyway..she's HOT!

ni pon hot..owh..aku kepanasan!! -__-"

i jugak nak sangat paki maxi dress.. yer..bagi orang kurus DAN TINGGI adalah sangat santik kalo pakai maxi dress.. cantik laksana model korea yang dok gayakan baju itu..huhu

tapi kalo si pemakai seorang yang petit and chubby..mau nya kelihatan ala-ala pregnant 4-5 bulan -_-"

HARAPAN la kan.. sendu sesorang dalam opis...di luar cam da ribut *_* beserta kilat la pulak.. sangat takut

meroyan

2011-07-21T15:39:00.004+08:00

hadoyai...sakit hati + meroyan la dengan orang BONUSLINK ni (saja je aku besarkan perkataan tu)

aku tak tau la aku sorang je ke yang hangin satu badan or orang lain pon dapat panggilan tengit dari pihak yang mengaku dari BONUSLINK and nak tawarkan pakej insurans perlindungan bagai -_-" annoying sangat tau tak? boleh sesuka ati jer pihak BONUSLINK bagi maklumat customer kat "sape-sape yang berkenaan tu"... Hadoyyai!

dalam sehari mau nya 4-5 kali aku dapat panggilan dari no 03-92077400 and 03-20366888. eeeeiiii...da kalo orang dok angkat kata busy, takde masa, busy 24 jam xfaham-faham ke pihak tersebut untuk tidak menelefon lagi kerana sememangnya pihak yang ditelefon tidak berminat dengan produk anda?

panggilan pagi tadi;

I: (angkat telefon dan diamkan diri)

Ejen: hello, assalamualaikum & selamat pagi (sambil wat suare mesra alam dan islamik ) Boleh saya bercakap dengan Cikna Chubby (ekekekeke..xla die sebut nama penuh ;p )

I: ni sape?

Ejen: saya....(sebut nama die which i dont even care to remember..pffff typical me) dari BONUSLINK -

I: (Cepat-cepat potong before dia habis cakap..sungguh xberadap kamu yer cikna) maafla saya tak berminat dengan ape-ape yang awak nak beritahu.da banyak kali da orang BONUSLINK call beritahu sal benda-benda ni

Ejen: sal benda apa tu cik? (eh..eh...wat-wat tanya lak...)

I: maaf..saya busy

Ejen: maaf mengganggu cik..

talian aku matikan..hangin hokey!!

pernah sekali sampai setengah jam aku pinjam kan telinga untuk orang yang mengaku dari BONUSLINK ni. konon aku terpilih la join insurans perlindungan cover sampai beribu-riban and bayar below rm100 every month.owh...puhlease! siap mintak alamat, no kad credit bagai...kalo bukan scam pon sape la nak bagi maklumat macam tu via phone right!

hangin jap sebadan

rutin

2011-07-20T16:49:00.002+08:00

morning - get ready to work

815 am - hon! a nice-lovely-adorable "morning greet" from my driver @_@

12 noon -sharp! lunch (fruits only..lol) have to control meals due to pain in abdomen (huhu)

430 pm - milk time... else cant eat for a whole day! phewww..

530 pm -waiting for encik to pick me up. -mon to fri..as he off on weekend -_-" tq!

600 pm -approximately (minus going to shop, buy groceries..etc, etc...) arrive at home! weee..home sweet home

700 pm - done with cooking.."bachelorette-type-of-cooking" LOL!

800 pm -get prepared for extra classes for encik's nephews..huhu -time to be fierce.....

1000 pm -bubye children, see yall tomorrow

1030 pm -bang! helplessly sleeping at hall...lol..too tired

1100 pm -going to bed to sleep soundlessly

---did i have time to finish up my thesis? huhuhu...

abdominal colic

2011-06-29T11:18:00.004+08:00

I was MC yesterday.. huhu..and last Monday I just worked half-day only. Cant stand the pain in my stomach –no it wasn’t a normal pain..it’s more to gastric.. well it is gastric after all..lol- it hurts so much till I cant eat normally even I had bought meals for lunch. I just can take milk –no anlene, HL, or anything..just full cream milk as I cant find fresh milk at that time- unfortunately I was about to throw out after I sipped a few.. -_-"

Ok..this is serious.. I said to myself. I haven’t experienced all this, not since I was 17.

-Back then I can’t even stand up and walked out from toilet as the pain really tortured me to death.- I messaged encik and asked him if he can take me back as he was still in meeting. It was 1 pm. And he still didn’t replied. I did lose hope and said to myself just bear with the situation. About 15mins later he called and said he will fetch me. –yeay! Can’t stand the pain and need rest like so much-

Went back home and he bought another milk for me. –He was afraid I wanna threw out so he gave me plastic bag…owh…so much for the sarcasm -_-" if wasn’t bout the pain surely I do mind..huhu. I just slept I don’t know for bout how long. But when I woke up I called encik to drive me to clinic. The pain was already gone but as curious I was I do wanna check for my health.

And the doctor gave me one day MC with a reminder to come back if the pain won’t goes. Luckily it wasn’t appendicitis as the pain was on my left stomach. He said that it was gastric plus food poisoning. Huhu.. omg. I should watch what I consume onwards.

On my way home I was thinking what did I ate on the day before… breakfast –Nescafe, lunch-maggie ruski (so much for the protein yeah…), dinner –a happy meal (fried chicken and ribena + mcflurry lime..owh it’s the newest mcflurry in town..huhu), supper –kfc..

Arrgghhh…exactly! How many calories I’ve already taken into me? >.< now I do eat normally. No more caffeine –even I knew I will shatter at the begins of the day…but I do have to stop taking caffeine now- no more sour/spicy/hot meals… more veges, lots of fruits.. lots of water.

Caffeine…..i heart u no more… now im with milk..so please do not even come back…

pain go away;

kisah Jun 2011

2011-06-25T11:52:00.005+08:00

Lama xtengok movie..huhu.. nak tengok kat wayang cam nan hadoo jer sebab xde member..lagipon I da jadik setengah sleeping beauty bila masuk jer kul 10 malam..huhu. so..i just download je la movie melalui saluran yang belum di”block” oleh kerajaan. Ho k..meh cerite movie pe yang I da tengok bulan jun nih

-kung fu panda 2

“Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are, it is the rest of your story, who you choose to be… …So who are you Panda?” Soothsayer

so far hokey la. Cite kartun yang santai2 gitu. Kalo xtengok kung fu panda 1 pon I rase orang leh faham kot jalan cerita nye. Sal I tengok Bame xkomplen xfaham pon..haha. interpretasi sendiri.

-hikayat merong mahawangsa

harap poster jer gempak. ahhhhh...cikna tertipoooo

boooooooooo… mengantuk, membosankan… mujur la I just pinjam dvd dari encik. Kalo I beli mau nyer I lompat longkang depan umah i. Kemain lagi la I tengok review sana sini kata movie ni epic filem. Now I know why they called it epic…coz it is EPIC FAIL! Lol..da lah hero xpandai berlakon, nak harap kan watak sampingan jer beriya2 hidupkan watak. Ewwww….. I tengok sekerat jer..sampai team geruda ke garuda tangkap puteri cina tu..pastu..babai la..ngantuk bangat. Baik ku tengok cite kartun avatar –aang.. lagi tangkap cintan.

-the insidious…

"A parasite. She befriended your astral body and lured you into the further just as Dalton has been" Elise Reiner

huhu..ni best nk cerita. Semalam baru dapat tengok pas 2 hari download.. (I tangguhkan download Gossip girl season 4 sebab cerita ni tau) mujur pengorbanan I x sia2… hihi. Tengok review sana sini –again…tapi review yang tol2 la..bukan hampeh cam I ni.. ;p- memang xmengecewakan. Bagi peminat tegar cite horror, cite ni sangat best –ok..i tipu. Ade gak aksi2 yang xmenakutkan cam banyak roh datang nak masuk badan Josh sebab die dalam keadaan astral- tapi part ending memang unsangkarable..hahaha. xsangka beb. Salute la orang yang wat cite ni sebab banyak aksi mengejutkan pihak lawan. Contoh masa Lorraine cite mimpi die kat anak dan menantu tetibe ade muka antu kat tepi Josh. Berdebar jantung I tau..haha. terkujat tahap 8.5 skala ritcher. Walaupon pelakon cam suam2 kuku jer –eh ye ker?- tapi lakonan mantop..waima anak kecik die yang salu nanges2 2. oowh sangat comel. Harus la kalo I dapat I cubet2 pipi die.. ;p –well..lakonan lagi berkesan dari hero merong mahawangsa..pfff..-

cite yang I nk tengok la ni xmen and karak –pff..i nak sangat tengok lakonan katy perry oppps..kila fairy yang kengkonon meletupz tu- ade 1 review tu kater die dok touch up mekap berkali2 kat bibir anjelina jolie-lullaby 2 –huhu sambil menaip ni i buat aksi juih2 bibir ;p – tapi encik kate hampeh …ehh bila mase lak ko tengok cite ni? Bukan ade fasha sandha pon berlakon –note: encik ade la pemunat nomor 1 (kuase 18) cik pasa sandal- kalo ade dvd ni meh ku pinjam satu hari..hahah

xde wolverine dalam cerita ni tapinyer..huhu..

dengan harapan tidak menghampakan...ker?

huhu..just my 2 cents;

bukan cikgu bahasa inggeris

2011-06-21T16:04:00.005+08:00

i akan tag sesuatu subjek masa I sekolah dedolu.. contoh kalo I dapat cekgu yang garang I akan belajar subjek tersebut bersungguh2 supaya I xkene pape hukuman =p..contoh lagi..kalo I da terkena hukuman e.g cubet ke hape..i akan terus tag subjek 2 dengan cekgu2 nyer sekali sebagai xbest dan sewaktu dengannyer (ampun cekgu2 cikna chubby..huhu)

dan salah satu peristiwa sepanjang I belajar..i paling xleh lupa masa I darjah 3. I ketua darjah tau masa ni (huhu..) pas2 sebagai ketua darjah yang garang (khelass ko cikna..garang da jadi trademark ;p ) dan berdedikasi.. harusla I kene siapkan pape pun tugasan dengan kadar segera. Dan muka ni lah yang selalu anta buku kat meja cekgu. Tiba satu hari (masa ni kelas English) I anta la buku I pas abes salin sume yang cekgu tulis kat papan itam (owh ms ni masih guna papan itam yang berhabuk sana sini time nak padam…plus time nak buang habuk kat pemadam papan itam tu..hambek ko..xcukup dedua tangan jadi kaler putih..siap2 muka ko pon same cam wayang opera ) lol… ape I nak tulis td? Hahaha..ho k..pas2 I Tanya la cekgu tu sesuatu sambil tunjuk ke perkataan yang I Tanya tu..terus cekgu tu marah2 tanya I balik perkataan tu nak sebut cmne?

Huh..nan hadoo la kan I nak pronounce da la I ni lidah melayu makan belacan xhingat donia.. sambil terkebil2 ibarat ikan belacak I pon sebut la perkataan tu semalu2 alam.. punya la marah cekgu tu terus dia cubet pewut I (hambek ko) I pon malu2 g balik tempat duduk sambil berikrar I xnak da belajar subjek English ni dengan cekgu garang yang hamat!

Pas2 tiap kali cekgu ni masuk I salu jer wat jatuh pensel la,,(jatuh bawah meja jer tapi nak amek kemain lame), g toilet lelame.. mcm2 la.. tapi sbb I ketua darjah selalunyer I kene deal la dengan para cekgu. Yelah, tolong angkat buku la, amek buku kedatangan dan bla bla bla..huhu. tapi.. walaupon I da tag subjek n cekgu tu..i belajar sendiri tapi melalui saluran yang agak kurang berkesan la.. lagu, buku cerita, movies. I xske pun b.i sebenarnye..tp terima kaseh pada cekgu 2..i belajar sungguh2 supaya I xperlu kene cubet lagi dengan cekgu tu.. –terima kaseh cekgu S-

Walaupon I ketua darjah..i xglamour pon cam ketua darjah lain.. sebab I ni cume itek hodoh jer –huhu- penting ke? Lol.. tp pas2 upsr dapat la I merasa B kat subjek ni.. its ok la..ß-riak dan takbur kan..bagus la 2..amalkan selalu ;p.. sal tulah b.i I mmg hancuss dan banyak ayat cam syok sendiri jer.. lagi plak I ni kengkadang wat2 konfiden jer..asal bunyik sedap dan cam betul jer..i hentam je la.. don’t afraid to be wrong.

And honestly.. i do learnt a lot from the day I’d been pinched by her. Do not give up no matter what –even a pinch! Hihi..

I see u;

newest!

2011-06-20T13:57:00.010+08:00

yeay..template baru yang comel.. i loike.. sebab da hantar semua fail2 audit etc.. maka dengan jaya nyer i (a.k.a cikna chubby) membuat posting dengan templat blog yang baru =p

short posting.. owh btw....i do wrote sumthg as a draft last week..-lol..xnak nanti ade yang montah ijo pas baca entry i..huhu- perhaps.. ill post it next year..or the year after it or the year after it.. thjihihihih

chill till then

walls

2011-06-16T10:32:00.002+08:00

I do put some partitions in my life..esp in my heart.. –we cant trust people to always take a good care of it so yeah..it must have been some gaps- when I met strangers I do want to take times and efforts to know them. And I do not take any impression on them. Well..people say that first impression is important but not for me. It’s difficult to know someone just by a glimpse. I don’t imply it and I totally didn’t acknowledge love on the first sight.

So that’s why I put some walls between my very tiny heart –melodramatic me- maybe being the second child makes me fragile and vulnerable-well it’s the weakest point, but I don’t have to be one, though- if I don’t like someone, I rather not talking to them, better yet I’m avoiding myself to be surrounded by that negative auras – fascinating?- and obviously, I will never try to like them if they don’t want to like me. I will never put any efforts even as small as baby ant – huhu- if u didn’t like me.. neither me have any reason to be near you.

Mom was right..she is and always be right - ^_^ - we don’t have actually repay whatever people did to us –bad things of course- we don’t want to be as bi-a-tch (lol..mom didn’t say this words..but it comes from my alter ego ;p ) as they are. The most important thing is we have to take care of ourselves and live happily as we should. And as for me.. people who had entered my life definitely got their own places in me. some might marked something but sometimes it just temporary. Some just enough to be surrounded for formal/professional purpose –and Im sure I wanna leave it to be a fomal relationship only..which they cant never interact with my personal life nor know bout it- while some are permanently special and will never be erased –lol..so melodramatic ;p –

Owh btw, I went to KL for interview last Tuesday.. even using gps still managed to be lost..lol.. surely I wont drive alone there –kindly encik offered to be my driver..huhu- when we were lost I just keep silent as he alwiz asked me the direction –hello..thats why we have gps- before he managed to mad at me I just keep my mouth shout and let he drove calmly with that gps..haha.

Well.. june will end and july will come.. and then it will be fasting month then raya.. and after 3 months there will be a new year once again.. how fast time walks us by.. and me.. still didn’t achieve my target – which obviously my master- erkk…its now or never!

and i thought i was going to forget u...

2011-05-31T15:38:00.005+08:00

10 o’clock this morning i had an interview with company R. i do felt nervous..(like butterflies in stomach.. needed to go to toilet..etc <---- nervous symptoms i guess..huhu) but i told myself those butterflies, they have got to be murdered by any chance.. n earlier this morning, i kept repeating myself begged encik to not allow me to go for that interview..but he just ignored me as expected..lol..(i have a serious issue with someone there who eventually will become part of me??)

since the company also, like, wanted-so-badly-for-me-to-attend-it (as they calling from Saturday till 930 this morning) so I just let go the-feeling-of-unpleasant-to-certain-people.. well..when I arrived there.. I had to wait for a girl who came earlier. (luckily only one person ahead) since this is my second time here (interview) I didn’t feel much pressure compared to previous one …haha… while am waiting I grabbed magazines there. Well..its more to engineering…pfff what am I expecting from engineering company..lol (laugh at myself)

I didn’t pay much attention bout what I was reading until I finally came across an interesting article (for me of course) something bout bioengineering, nanotechnology and most importantly how they implement those two in treating some bacterial infection (which I forgot the name) and in process to proceed it to the higher level; drug.. they actually wanted it to be user friendly which can be found in daily usage/ toiletaries n stuff..

Oh my.. I talked to myself.. I left all this like almost a year.. I didn’t know how much I missed all the researches, the knowledge, the sciences, the biology itself.. I knew im so into designing drug.. I even had my 3 years constructing a hypothetical pathway.. (ok..i lied..the pathway took about a year to complete..another 1 year am mining information..another 1 year full of rejection..huhu)..

Well.. now what I can do is completed writing journal and submit my thesis..prepare for viva (hopefully!) and then graduated as master student.. its like a dream for me.. yet its in my list to-be-achieved before I can even think about tie-what-so-ever knot..

ari ni nyer kesah

2011-05-25T11:39:00.005+08:00

ari ni lewat dtg opis..kesahnyer umah xde air dari semalam membawa ke pagi ni (n maybe lewat ptg or mlm baru ade air) pagi ni i mandi kat masjid..huhu..teringat lak zaman dok kat seksyen 1 BBB, selalu gak xde air. so pe lg mandi kat masjid or kolej2 berhampiran la.. -nomad gitu-

ari ni rase sedih n tension.. kesahnyer bese la. tension dgn diri sendiri.. xleh nk gurau sikit mula la angin dalam badan nak keluar -haha..bukan kentut2- tapi kadang2 fikir la gak gurau tu bertempat ke tak..haishhh.. lantak la. papehal nk jadi..jadi la.. xkisah da

ari ni tak pakai baju kurung..kesahnyer sal da terlangsung mandi kat masjid td, i pakai jer t-shirt (xberkolar..lol) n jeans..plus selipar crocs cap pasar malam.. hahaha..ramai la terkejut -eh pe ke hal cik hana pakai tshirt selain ari sabtu?- yela..selama ni cam sopan2 gitu..ari ni wah dahla datang lmbt, pakaian sempoi.. -huk..ade aku kesah?

ari ni turun dari keta nampak ramai bangla dok jalan dengan baldi...kesahnyer sini pon xde air..mujur kat opis ni ade tangki air lagi..kalo x..merana gak la.. kol org JBA katenyer air da sampai..tp area2 ke tganu ni lum ke udara lg..huhu nanges sgt. sgt berharap la balik umah kang da ade air sal baju da rendam dari semalam.. haru!

ari ni dan semalam... -background song kau yang tak mengerti....by teja-

lol..pe kes ko ni emosi2 cik na wei? kalo ko tny org tu jwpn yang pasti adelah.." ADE AKU KESAH?"
-__________-"

~~notakukujarikaki:lelakiyangbaikbudimanpenyayangberimanpenyabarhanyawujuddalammimpikalaupunade~~
~~didunianidiabukanuntuksayakeranasayahanyalayakdilayansebaliknyasedihsangat2-~~

sepetang di pelabuhan

2011-05-20T13:02:00.003+08:00

haiyak! hahaha cm tajuk novel cintun jerk.. kali ni entri bergambo..suke-suki di hari wesak.. ^________^

ekekeke..sal gune kamera fon yg cikai so kene letak gmbo small jer (kalo x t nmpk ketul2 jerawat) lol! ni gmbar2 before kene halau balik dengan encik (alasan da maghrib2 port akan jem) ceh..walhal jeles la 2 i nk posing2 maut terbaring kat pantai...hahahaha <-----kekejian!

till then...

warkah berlagu pilu

2011-05-12T13:05:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah… *senyum-senyum*

Permohonan untuk tambah masa sem ni diluluskan sudah…lepas hampir 4 bln berhempas pulas *fax sana sini..tipon orang itu ini* akhirnya mak sampaikan khabar gembira ni semalam *sal surat dr Uni kat melaka kan..sampai tak lena tidur malam* hihihi..

Seronok? Sangat la kan.. lepas ni nak konpem kan dengan Uni sal kes I ni.. pastu leh la anta notis penghantaran tesis..plus abstract plus journal *omg omg paper xsiap2 lg* tp xpe..yang penting daftar sem dulu then baru anta notis and pape yang dikehendaki..

^_____________________^

~mungkinkah I leh konvo tahun depan? Smbil mata bersinar2…~ lalalalala

cemburu bertempat

2011-05-06T13:11:00.004+08:00

Ari jumaat…yeay! Esok cuti ^_______________^ (hamboi..senyum lebo..)

Sumhow..this tiny little feeling keep popping in my heart…ddduuuhhh..

I know I am some kind of weirdo since I was a small child.. (lol..ok..just kidding)

There’s a voice whispering as m looking for people profiles or status in facebook..

A pretty girl who happened to break-up with her ex seems to have a new relationship –am not jealous

Some old schoolmates finally tying their knots –still am not jealous..but happy for them

Some friends had their wedding of the year and look so gorgeous –am not jealous at all

Then there are friends who living abroad and enjoying their life –well..they are lucky..but still..im not jealous

But when…

Some friends had their viva or submitted their thesis or.. they finally had their master convocation… -well hell yeah I am totally jealous!

I mean how could they possible finished their master whilst im on the other hand? Im so pissed off with myself for not being able to finish it according to my plan.. hello? I’m 27, I started my master at the tender age of 24 and it took me almost 3 years now! It just a master degree..how could I possibly not finished it when technically all I did was just analyzed and built pathway!!!!!

Owh my.. this is not supposed to happen..not to me..not to anybody.. m hoping someday me and my friends could breaking free from all this hectic and pathetic situation..

wishing on someone's star..

2011-04-27T09:42:00.004+08:00

Saya: pe saya nak semua tak dapat (nanges!)

Encik: Eh? Kan saya kata kalo nak amek la.. da awak xnak..wet untuk kamera awak saya da wat modified keta

Saya: ha? (saya Cuma nak kfc jer…pe kaitan dengan modified keta?..lol)

Huhu..rupa-rupanya..ada orang terniat nak bagi I kamera sony itu.. tapi sebab I malu-malu kambeng terlepas macam tu sahaja…lol? I memang pemalu pun nak minta2 ni.. (sangat la kan) owh well…it seems like im wishing on other people’s stars…huhuhuhu (rofl)

N my viva a.k.a cik comot saya sudah bertukar wajah..

bumper depan da tukar kaler itam (ok..ni kes langgar encik musang masa I nak balik melaka..hihi)
dah ada wiper baru sekarang ni..sgt seronok..
dah ade alarm n bunyik nyer sangat xmenyakitkan hati..
xde da nak memalu bunyikkan hon yang masuk air (kes redah banjir =p ) sekarang bunyik da tip top..lol?
yeay..da ade spoiler.. hikhik.. (n kt pintu da ade line..-_-“ xpandai nk sebut amende nyer itu)
and paling seronok dah ade spotlite yg comel..(beserta suis!) ekekekekeke –I loike!

Makne…I xleh panggil keta I cik comot da.. terpakse panggil die encik comot (ekekekekeke) but still kaler imago gak…-sgt berharap dpt tukar kaler purple or pink..ala2 honda jazz…huhu

Sbb xde kamera yang canggih maka xpat la nk tepek gamba encik comot dulu n sekarang.. –tulah pemalu la sangat kn.. lol..makna nyer kene la kumpul wet sdirik yer cik ana,…bubye sony cybershot..huhu.-

P/s: leh ke encik kate I ni budak sivik sebab keta I dulu sangat skema (xubah pape sejak beli keta) HELLO! Harus la xubah pape.. I kedekut nak kuar kan wet modified itu ini.. lol.. (walhal..xpandai nk mekap keta santek2..hahahaha)

(◕‿◕✿)

today was a fairytale

2011-04-26T13:30:00.006+08:00

“”Argon is a chemical element represented by the symbol Ar. Argon is the third most common gas in the Earth's atmosphere, at 0.93%, making it more common than carbon dioxide.

Arginine (abbreviated as Arg or R)^[1] is an α-amino acid. The L-form is one of the 20 most common natural amino acids.””

Huhu..its about a year since I left my student life..(a year n 4 moths to be precise) ok I still didn’t manage to graduate this year as a master student ( for crying out loud…!) minus other people mistakes, I blamed myself for being soooo slow in writing my thesis (sometimes I wish I’d taken coursework..then only I can graduate in a year!) -_-“ just a pathetic me as always..lalalalala

Back to argon and arginine.. this is a story about a girl who always confused, clumsy and not far from mistakes ( this is not a long-long time ago..far far away story to tell..hihi) as usual this girl (I named her Ms. B) will wear baju kurung to office (duhh..well she’s soo old fashioned in many ways..ehem) she will do her jobs as account exec (quite fascinating as she didn’t do well in her own account but now she’s in charge in whole set company’s account –ok..this is a bit naik bakul angkat sendiri..)

And it’s time of the year where the company has to do some audits (-_-“) –she wished for some-handsome-like-anuar-zain auditor will come..but then it’s a big NO! lol… she just had to compile all those important files..etc…etc and then send it to auditors (owh well..just assume the auditor is someone who as scary as nightmare monsters..huhu – sedapkan ati jer) then a few gas invoices came before her very own eyes.. she read it a while as she wrote the details of her notebook…and came across symbol ARG.

Surprisingly, she told herself..eh? ade ke org gune gas arginine? Eh bukan arginine tu peptida ke? Camner leh jadi gas…and so on…wonder if she’s a biologist-to-be (she used to…long time ago..huhu) and she called her assistant, asked her what’s the used of that ARG to our company..(pemikiran kritis dan kreatif hokey!)

Then ..

“ gas argon? Owh.. tu untuk customer kak.. dulu kita supply la..la ni tak amik da” she smiled as she replied Ms. B..

lol? Argon? Isn’t it supposed to write AR?

Oh well.. it seems the-ex-biologist-to-be is mixed up now..lol..

wishing on stars

2011-04-25T09:56:00.002+08:00

=) A week and a day before my 27^th birthday.. (happy) well.. I know there will be nothing special happening on that day (especially when I have to cut-off my holiday n work on my special day..huhu)..but still am wishing for something… (ok..ill attach the picture of something that I really want at this moment)

it’s a sony cyber shot camera (lol) ok..i’ve once dreamt of DSLR but then I realized I will never get that one no matter how long I have to save money etc etc.. (~bad ana~) this one..its cost RM699 (-_-“) if there’s someone who generous enough to buy it for me as birthday present..lol! haven’t got any present since im graduated (degree =p )

owh well..if only dreams will come true…(ok it will..only if I buy it myself..lol!) perhaps I better saving for this October as I have to renew my car’s insurance n road tax n bla..bla..bla..

but still… (sambil pejam mata kuat2 n doa…) I want this for my birthday!!!!!

(as if my prayers will be answered….pathetic me…huhu)

mom

2011-04-23T10:27:00.007+08:00

how much u resemble ur mother? ~me?

i will totally get mad when ppl said im much more like my mom when i was a child.. back then, i thought i will never ever be like her as i dont want to be old and protective. for me..we should do whatever we want and face any circumstances due to our action... ~how stupid i am...at that time..

i am a bad daughter ever exist ~i guess...its my own perception~

dulu?

saya selalu marah kalo mak simpan bekas2 plastik kat dapur..~sebab bagi saya lebih elok guna bekas kaca dan nampak lagi menarik
saya marah kalo mak cabut rumput belakang rumah, kemas rumah, masa mak cuti sebab bagi saya mak perlu berehat
saya marah kalo mak gi tolong orang kat kenduri2, sebab saya tau mak saya akan wat semua keje ~mak sangat rajin~anak perempuannya..sangat la akas
saya marah kalo mak lebih kan anak org lain ~ok..ni kes jeles...sebab saya sangat rapat dengan mak..kami macam adk beradik
saya hangin kalo mak larang g mane2 sebab saya rasa xde kebebasan

now?

waktu saya kerja pon sama dengan mak..sabtu half-day n ahad cuti.. saya xkn rehat pon..balik keje terus mask utk adk.. n petang saya akan kemas belakang rumah yg penuh dgn rumput dan daun2 kering
ahad..saya akan kemas satu rumah..mop lantai, kemas dapur, masak, basuh + lipat + iron baju..
bekas2 plastik? saya simpan jugak sbb lebih senang digunakan time masak
nak g jalan2? xde masalah..start enjin kereta leh je gerak ke mane2...tp saya xkuar pon.. sebab saya rasa lg selamat di rumah
berleter? owh tidak..huhu..saya cume sedikit tegas dengan adik2 saya dlm pelajaran.. hal lain saya xmasuk campur..cuma da jadi kebiasaan adik2 saya minta pandangan kakak nya yg xberape nk betol..=)

the new me...

when ppl asked me how much i resemble my mother..i will smile n said..we are twins =) n i am proud of it.
fear of getting old? nope..cant wait to be old.. n be just like my mother.. she's a lovable woman i ever met.. easy to love, easy to be loved..

well..she's my mother.. n i love her..alwiz..

=)

Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

2011-04-19T17:04:00.001+08:00

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test market..

2011-04-08T10:56:00.001+08:00

RM 43.00 / Pair

RM 45.00 / Pair

to be continued....

a-happy-lunch-meal..taddaaaa...

2011-03-18T13:09:00.002+08:00

friday...penghulu segala hari...n esok half-day...yeay! leh la berkubang dgn selimut lelame ckit =p. hokey cm bese tetiap ari jumaat i xikot encik blk umah lunch sal die rehat 2jam..i sejam jer (nanges!) bese kami akan lunch kt umah my future MIL (ecececeh cikna...kemain ko yer...harapan!) haha <-----keji. tp ari jumaat bese i akan lunch sorg2 je kt opis. i bukan la kuat mkn (haha...omongan) tp i WAJIB take heavy breakfast (ngade2 nk caps lock perkataan wajib) heavy breakfast tu cm nasi lemak ke..mi gemuk ke (a.k.a mi kuning hokey)..bihun grg ke...pape la yg berasaskan karbohidrat..(hihi..bese nasi lemak n sambal kerang or ayam goreng...weeee). Kalo i x breakfast..bdn i akn mengigil kelaparan by 12 noon (cm angker lak) nope..seriusly..whether its my biological clock or kesan tiroid i xtau la..

so ari ni..i bgn lmbt..then kene amek encik yg br balik dr Temerloh..so mmg xsempat la nk beli pape.. Smpai opis 8.40..hambek ko..mujur la punch card kt sini lewat 15mehnet (hahaha..jahat) mkn roti? huhu..i mmg xkenyang stakat breakfast roti hokey.. i da agak da kul 12 kang mesti menggigil smpi nk pitam.. so by 11.30 i da rs xsedap bdn da..ade gaye2 kaki xjejak tanah..jln pon cm atas angin jer.. Then i bertekad kul 12 i mesti kuar beli lunch n bersantap. Kul 12 mmg crucial hour sbb time ni la ramai org g beli mknan terutama lelaki sal dorg nk g solat jumaat kn. Kenapa la i g gak waktu ni? (bkn nk gediks2 k.. kalo xsebab bdn dok gigil..xkhuase i nk berduyun g beli waktu lelaki tgh ramai )

cm bese..rutin i kalo beli mkn..harusla karbohidrat dolu (nasi la kan =p ) pastu protein (bese ayam goreng..) then br la g ke sayur (or i prefer ulam n sambal belacan or budu...hihi) ms i nk amek sayur ni la kemain ramai lak lelaki dtg amek nasi (sayur n sambal betol2 kt sebelah nasi) aduh...kene tggu lame ke? i bermonolog =p.. tibe2 sorg pakcik yg jg area nasi 2 cedukkan smbal utk i n amek kan ulam2..(mate bercahaye2) pas2 i pon senyum2 ckp trime kasih n g bayar...

then i blk opis n mkn nasi.. hihi (happy ending yer =p ) masa tgh mkn i fikir..even ulam n sambal ni bkn yg i nak or plan ms mule2 tgk lauk 2..tp bile mkn sdp gak.. lebih2 lg dgn kebaikan pakcik 2 amek kan utk i di lautan lelaki (mungkin sal kesian i terkial2 sorg2 kt situ) Positively i related this to my own life... even though what i have now isnt sumthg i've planned for my life..i do feel satisfied and happy.. ye hidup i xseindah cm fairy tales.. tp as long as m feeling happy n contented nothing else matter (^_^)

p/s teringat lak kat kak intan FST yg susah payah uruskan borg tesis n tmbah masa i.. sorry n terima kaseh kak intan..i berjanji akan abeskan master sem ni n xkan susahkan kak intan lg (hihi..)

women best friend

2011-03-15T13:32:00.003+08:00

hokey... women will meet their best friend once in a month ..(a.k.a menstrual..) its the time in a month where ladies will be more sensitive (as the circle is not so friendly ..for most of us ) n if we r lucky enuff we will encounter the jackpot which is ...(tadaaaa...)period pain -_-" (why m i telling this? lol..as a general knowledge).. well today we will learn about science..(again...hihi)

"Many women experience menstrual pain, especially when they are in the their teens. In most cases, menstrual pain does not indicate a more serious problem, although sometimes it can be associated with endometriosis or uterine fibroids (non-cancerous tumors in the uterus). The medical term for menstrual pain is primary dysmenorrhea. Primary dysmenorrhea usually starts 2 - 3 years after the first period, as a woman begins to ovulate regularly. Pain usually starts a day or two before menstrual flow, and may continue through the first 2 days the period. Often, pain gets better as a woman gets older, or after she has a child.

Secondary dysmenorrhea is caused by underlying conditions, such as endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease."

(resource: internet..again..^_^)

sumhow...ada segelintir kaum wanita yg xalami sakit ni...xfhm kesakitan yg dilalui ~k so u r lucky...~ yg hangin nyer adela minah ni (intro ~minah ni adelah sejenis wanita yg rs diri sgt bagus, xperlukan lelaki, sgt desperate sbnrnye sbb salu citer diri hebat dikehendaki oleh pelbagai lelaki <<<----- but her marriage was ended.. i wont tell much bout it..fullstop) minah ni..i called her makcik 1 (walaupun die blum lg tua la..but as her "kepoh" as makcik2..so hihi) ade sorg akk ni kene la sengugut satu hari..n bese la kalo sakit ni nk mkn pon xselera..nk gerak2..lari2 ank gajah pon jgn harap la..then she juz sat at her place. tibe makcik 1 ni tny dgn mate2 yg beso ala2 kepochi.."ko xmkn ke? diet? xmkn pon bkn bdn ko leh kurus pon" (note --mmg fitrah die ske nk jatuh2 kan org demi nk tnjuk diri hebat) pas2 akk yg period pain ni jwb la dgn lemah nyer..."sengugut" n what she replied? -dgn mate2 yg beso skali lagi.."alah...bkn skt sgt pon..skt lg org nk bersalin" (hokey..i xtau skt ms bersalin..as i xpenah lg la msk club 2.. ) tp i terkejut la sal xsimpati lgsung kt akk yg tgh sakit ni...

tibe2 dtg la sorg lelaki ni hulurkan panadol kt akk yg lesu 2.. (that time i rs kaum yg xtau lgsung sal period pain or skt bersalin...lg prihatin dr kaum wanita) smbil bawa air suam... (hokey lelaki ni xde kene mengena dgn akk 2..cuma kwn2 opis jer) makcik 1 trus angkt kaki n blah.. i xtau pe perasaan die tp kalo i kt tmpt die i tabik spring la kt encik 2.

kate org kita xkan tau perasaan seseorg kalo kite xberada ditempat die...~tp skrg i sedar..kite xperlu tau perasaan org tu..tp kite perlu faham keadaan die n cube memperbaiki diri kite supaya kite xsakitkan hati org lain~

~big love~

angkara tart telur...nanges!

2011-03-11T09:33:00.004+08:00

ri ni kite belajar sains jap ek.. huhu

"Taste buds are sensory organs that are found on your tongue and allow you to experience tastes that are sweet, salty, sour, and bitter. Taste buds have very sensitive microscopic hairs called microvilli. Those tiny hairs send messages to the brain about how something tastes, so you know if it's sweet, sour, bitter, or salty. he average person has about 10,000 taste buds and they're replaced every 2 weeks or so. But as a person ages, some of those taste cells don't get replaced. An older person may only have 5,000 working taste buds. That's why certain foods may taste stronger to you than they do to adults. Smoking also can reduce the number of taste buds a person has"

cukup2...haha..tx to internet for the information (kdg2 lupa i pon ala2 org sains gak gtu kan =p ) Knp i cite sal tunas rase ni? sbb i geram dgn tunas rase i yg nk test macam2 mknan...huhu...result nye bdn i makin chubby la kan...nanges lg...(xkira) smlm i beli breakfast (opkoz nasi lemak n smbal kerang...aduh..huhu) pas2 i nmpk la tat telur.. i penah belikan encik kuih tat ni..so i pon beli la 2 ( 1 harge nye rm0.50..n quite satisfied la saiz nye..ala1 ngam je masuk molut i..) smpi kt parking opis i..i pon ckp la dgn encik.."sy nk geget ckit kuih tat ni leh?" haha..konon2 sopan la kan..walhal nk geget kuih org =p... pas2 encik pon ckp "eh xperlu la nk geget2 kot..amek je la 1 trus" ha ape lagi..memang xpndg kiri kanan..i terus masuk molut kuih tat 2...

mmg heaven la... trus i smpi opis..on pc segala cr resepi nk wat tat telur...ekekeke (sgt berkobar2) blk 2 g la beli bhn2 nk wat tat...n kek cekelet (wajib mmg wat sbb adik2 i ske..) n i niat nk bg ank sdara encik sbb dorg demam panas n muntah2 (teeet! bkn nk amek ati...lol! i janji dgn budak2 2 nk bwk dorg jenjln pas gaji...tp xbwk lg..so kek cekelet ni cm pampasan utk dorg la kant =p )

n mlm td..pas i dinner ala kadar (huhu..ala kadar pon smlm habes gak smbal kacang botol i belasah...nanges!) i pon start la usaha wat tat... siap je trus i masuk molut (nanges...sdp n manis...cmne la bdn xmakin tembam!) yg sedih nye..i masuk molut mase tart 2 tgh panas..akibatnye...abesla tunas rase i melecur...hahahaha... tp.. ehh..ade tp? hihi..pas2 xstop kt c2 je..i trus wat kek cekelet lak.. (smentara tggu ujan turun sal berangan nk tdo ms ujan lebat...kn syahdu...=p ) mujur kek cekelet i menjadi...tp tat telur i cm bese2 je la...xsame cm ilustrasi resepi masakan 2...(hurm..xpe2..usaha lg)

i think i love baking... but it became worst when my body keep gaining weight..hahaha!

cot-cet-cik-ana-chubby...

ke ~lemau~an

2011-03-09T13:41:00.008+08:00

day 1

Cik ana: Bame..bhgn thigh ayam ni xde (smbil basuh2 ayam dr tunas manje)

bame: org 2 sorokkan kot (cm xnk lyn akak yg xbrp nk btol)

Cik ana ended up masak ayam grg kunyit n tdo dgn kecewa (nanges =(...)

day 2

Cik ana: aloh...bhgn sdp xde gak ...pas ni kalo org 2 ptg aku nk tgk btol2..

encik: laa...sy da tgk kn...die xde buang ner2 pon

cik ana ~merungut2 sorg sbb xde sape nk tau keluhan hati~

day 3

Cik ana: xpyh bg org 2 ptg...sy leh ptg sdiri

encik: awk tau ptg ayam ke? (smbil wat muke ala2 perli i kan)

cik ana: ptg leher org pon sy leh tau! (haha.. sy xmain2 sal ayam ni...lbh2 lg melibatkan bhgn yg sy

ske =p)

n cik ana happily kendurikan ayam 2 dgn lauk msk merah =p..huhu..jgn memain.. i serius dlm hal mkn-memakan ni..haha...(tatabahasa!) n dgn hepi nye tapau nasi ari ni mkn kt opis tatkala ujan2 ni....

huhu..masih lg ujan... (xpe ujan 2 kan rahmat...kpd yg holiday kt pantai timur ni..haru la kn xpat g ner2 sal ujan=p) n sy diujani pelbagai aduan..huhu.. (n 2 bkn rahmat la) when i 1st came here..all i ever wanted is no more drama in my life.. enuff of what i had before... tp..yela selagi name manusia mesti ade nyer la masalah demi masalah..huhu.. n sy xlarik pon hokey.. (tetibe nk bangga dgn diri sdiri) sbb ri ni ujan maka sy sgt lemau utk wat keje.. =p

ok..kt tmpt keje i ni majoriti sume da berfamily...n yg lmbt kawen pon akn melangsungkan nyer bln sep ni..huhu..pas raya.. so i slalu la dpt soklan.."ank da bp?" whattheheck la kan..i single hokey! =p (xleh nk slhkan bdn yg da srupe mak bdak..hahaha!) tp i tabik spring kt bdk yg nk kawin pas raye ni sal bile i tny preparation die ckp xwat pape lg! lol..dik..kawin ni bkn sthun skali cm raye =p maybe she wants to keep it simple kot..<-----prasangka baik. n soklan yg same la kn adik ni tny i...kak hana bile? then i dgn muke malu2 pucuk paku...thn dpn kot =p (haha...jwpn stereotaip!)

seriusly..i sen pon xbrp nk ade utk majelis2 ni..(my cousin nyer wed hampir bernilai 40k..hokey) utk mkn n blanje harian (minyak, cekelet,...bla2) adela kan..normal...but for sumthg yg highlite nyer ade lah i (huhu) masih lum nk ckp la kot.. but plan 2 ade la... sumhow its still a plan which is unsure ..huhu.. (yg sure bride nyer i la kan ) kalo da sure br la leh hebah2 kn kt fb ke..create event ke...tag kengkwn kt gmbo wedding card ke..lol.. tp lum mase lagik.. i pon xtau bila to be exact.. surely bile i da stabil dr segi mental n fizikal...n kewangan..(la ni dok tumbang2 lagi kalo kene ujan tetiap ari mcm kt cni =p )

ok la..enuff for today..ha hamek ko..bile da start hias sane cni..dok berleter itu ini..mule xhingat koje2.. (owh tesis ku) kalo x bersawang je la dgn entri2 lame..hihi

~chub-b-licious... glamorous ckit kn..smpena pp i yg da serupe kuih pau..(nanges!) xpe2..trademark.. ko ade?~ haha

~bame ...singkatan dr "abg mel" adik i yg beso size dr i..slalu nyer org akn slah anggap die 2 abg n i adik..huhu ~

new look..again..yippie!

2011-03-09T10:30:00.004+08:00

yup...as m staying at new house (rent with my bro..-that's Bame for keeping me accompany..hihi) so i decided to change my blog's skin again..lol! n its GREEN...as green as my room =p.. huhu..life's so much better when u have no "judgers" anymore.. tol la..umah 2 xperlu besar @ mewah..yg penting penghuni rs selamat, selesa n hepi.. im feeling it now ~n my mum's house esp..so comfort ^_^ ~ we dont need expensive things to make us happy..yeah? ~well..maybe not "we" but "me" =p ~

hopefully..there's no more "emo" post from me after today (hihi) as m started a new life..new journey (well..as human being i cant promise to always be happy..but ill try my best ) m gaining weight..but sumhow i feel comfortable with my body =p.. n those friendly-acnes (which always hang-out on my face) seems to hate me now as they slowly moving out from my life (lol..n bekas2 jerawat pon udah ilang) yeay... sgt berdebar tggu 2012... as m promise myself i will look awesome on my graduation day! (perhaps its this year la =( ....)

whatever happen..happen with reasons...no need to complain..juz keep moving on coz after thunderstorm..rainy day..theres alwiz a rainbow n beautiful sunshine ^_^

till i have sumthg to write

(omg....i supposed to recheck my thesis now..its nearly APRIL...!!)

-coincidentally...m wearing a green baju kurung today..lol...GO GREEN girl!

~after rain~

2011-02-15T15:31:00.002+08:00

~AMARAN: ENTRI INI LEH MENYEBABKAN SERANGAN ANGIN PUS2 BERTERUSAN SELAMA BEBERAPA HARKAAT~

tarikh: pertghn bulan Jan’2011

tempat: kedai mamak

waktu: dekat2 kul 8 mlm (sesuwei utk dinner)

kejadian: bang nuar jen tgh nyanyi kt tv3 (ekekeke)

Encik : A, kt luar tu hujan ke?

Sy : (bunyik cengkerik sekali)

Encik: A…..hujan ke skrg ni? (dgn nada geget cuping telinge)

Sy: (smbil tersipu2..) xla..(terus bersantap)

Hahaha…keji kan..adekah sbb sy terpesone dgn bang nuar? (owh tidak!) adekah sy masih obsess dgn bang nuar? Agaknye kot (smbil usik2 ujung langsir) hihihihi.. dah bln 2 tp sy lum lg listkan “kejayaan” thn 2010..(bjaye sgt ke?) ntahla.. kalo sy da berjaya skalipon (hey berjaya 2 kan subjektif!) sy masih lagi hamba –Nya yg hina.

Permulaan 2011 ni agak baek utk sy..cume ada 1,2 perkara buatkan hati sy goyah utk teruskan ape yg sy da usaha slama ni. Tp sy percaya stiap dugaan yg ditakdirkan akan buatkn diri kita lebih kuat. Physically, sy mmg tampak happy n diam dgn ape yg terjadi..but deep down inside kalo smpi certain boiling point..i will explode everythg. Jd kpd yg berkenaan sila la jg mulut 2…sy xnk kejadian raya thn lepas berlaku lak kt org laen.. (bawak2 la mengucap yer) =)

Demi seseorg, sy akan terus bersabar… tp sy xtau bp lama sy akan bersabar…sbb sy hanya seorg hamba-Nya yg lemah & penuh dgn kekhilafan..

Sgt serius utk entri kali ini..

=) setiap bangsa sama jer… yg penting hati

maaf..sy xsanggup..huhu

2011-01-29T11:23:00.001+08:00

sy sgt bz biler da start koje ni... mula la sy berfikir saat2 sy tanam anggur yg berbuah ranum dolu (a.k.a student master yg xbergaji..n xde wat pape..ekekeke) ~b/g lagu meet uncle hussein..lalalala kerja la...~ sy seronok dgn keja sy.. tensen2 pon at least berbayar.. dr relax tp nan ado kan..~walaupon keja sy totally different dgn pe yg sy belaja slame ni~ wasted? hurm..nope..i prefer think it as learning a new thing in my life (+ve thinking..hihi) sape sangka..perkara yg sy xbp nk minat ms sekolah dolu2 la yg sy akn ceburi skrg.. (big grin..school years..)

rs gembira je n syukur dgn hidup skrg... sy xkisah dgn keje yg berlambak2 atas meja..sy xkisah dok dlm opis yg bertimbun dgn file n kertas2..sy xkisah bile org pggil sy "HANA" instead of "ANA"..(ekekekeke) sy totally xkisah dgn gaye hidup org pantai timur bila mana sy hanyalah org selatan..(wink2) cuma kdg2 sy rindu dgn zaman blaja.. rindu dgn hidup dulu...kwn2.. (yg kebnyakan da bergelar isteri seseorg..huhu)

owh yer..sy sgt salute kpd isteri2 yg bekerja dan juga merupakan ibu kepada beberapa cahaya mata.. pg2 da kene sediakan breakfast + lunch utk family, pas2 hantar ank2 g sekolah, then masuk opis..pas2 lunch hour nk g amek bdk2 dr sekolah, anta ke rumah, bg makan kt ank2 (suami skali)..xdan nk mkn ank lak wat hal..(a.k.a xnk mkn, tumpahkan air..bla2) suami lak arahkan itew ini..(cm xleh nk wat sdiri!) pas2 tergesa2 blk ke opis... smpi umah kul 6 ptg... angkat bj kt ampaian, rendam bj2 utk cuci plak..then mandikan ank2, wat minum ptg, mandi + basuh bj (alahai...) pas2 sediakan dinner... (still xleh mkn dgn tenang) pas2 berkemas.. ank2 lak xnk tdo awal..kul 12 br nk tdo..aduhai seorg mak.. esok rutin yg same plak..

-stop! wat sy terfikir.. perkara yg slalu kita dgr..keluhan seorg wanita...tp yg pelik nyer si suami masih lagi berfikiran di takuk lame.. (isteri kena sediakan keperluan suami n ank2...) tp isteri juga mempunyai 24 jam sehari seperti suami & manusia lain di muka bumi ini..

-sy hanya mampu dgr keluhan seorg rakan..smbil berfikir mungkin nasib sy juga akan jd sepertinya.. membuatkan sy rindu utk habiskan ms dgn mak sy.

-"kita xkn tau perasaan seseorg..shinggala kita berada di tmpatnye.."

welcoming a new life

2010-12-08T18:20:00.000+08:00

maybe i was pacified with my life..maybe i was forgotten how miserable i used to be..maybe i was foolish to let go of everythg i'd believe..maybe... -maybe if i stop saying "maybe" i dont have to think about it anymore..lol-

owh ya..blog sy sudah bertukar wajah -wacccaa- sy xmenafikan fitrah seorg manusia yg ingin myayangi & dsygi.. tp bkn la pd bangsa sekaum.. sbb sy percaya hamba2Nya diciptakan berpasangan berlainan jantina. sy jarang on fb utk mengetahui perkembangan kwn2 sy skrg ini..cuma mengisi ms dgn bermaen ravenwood -i loike- namun sy tertarik utk mendalami profile seorg lelaki ini. ye..semua manusia itu istimewa. dan die lebih istimewa jika die bijak memainkan peranan hidup dgn sewajarnye. lelaki ini mempunyai personaliti yg menarik, dan seandainye die "bertindak" sbgi jantina yg dikurniakan sjak lahir pastinya ramai wanita akan tertarik dgnnya. tp apakan daya..walau dikumpulkan sejuta wanita paling cantik di dunia masih tidak mampu menawan hatinya kerana die lebih tertarik dgn insan yg bernama "LELAKI".

sy berdoa teman itu akan dpt hidayah suatu hari nanti.

-jelas kini kenapa sy slalu menggunakan bahasa inggeris sbgi bahasa utama post sy..sbb bhs melayu sy sgt lemah..menangis smbil mkn brokoli-

the girl who said..I DOnt..

2010-12-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

currently im falling in love with ravenwood fair in fb.. n yesh..m gaining like 7kg now..so total weight is 59kg!! wow..that is marvelous.. lol.. with not too tall size n gaining weights like that i could imagine myself being a petite yet plus size model! -laughing- oh plesh..i do love myself -beyond every women ways..lol- n sumtimes we do have to laugh at ourselves.. -we r not sum perfect creatures-

i dont - agree with using plastic bags but what can i do if 1 whole world using it "generously" ? i can use friendly eco-bag every time i want to buy sumthg n say no every time the cashier want to give me plastic bags. n i m totally support some market that avoid plastic bags usage (even for 1 day in a week) that surely helps a lot.

i dont - amuse by P.D.A using fb from some lovey-dovey couples that keep praising each other, give "sweet" statement how much " i love u " to their significant one, or some statement they wrote n dedicate it for their kids who doesnt know fb yet doesnt even know how to read.. ROFL.. come on la.. u can alwiz use msg in fb or hello.. there is cellphone that u can alwiz use to connect with ur love 1..no need to tell the world la..but those were common things ppl do to show how perfect their life are? totally big N-O.

I dont - care how much u know how to cook everythg by showing those perfect meals pic u have invented. -sounds meanie but do i look i care?- does it important to show world that i could actually beat "top chef" ? or dont hate me coz u aint me as i know how to impress ppl by making this, this n this? LMAO.. -gosh i wonder why i hate social network these days.. -

but..

i do - admire a couple that i didnt even notice them until 1 day i met this lovely lady using frenster. -she's a fren of a fren of a fren of a fren..well actually we r in same matriks..lol- n that time shes about to get marry with a humble guy (same matriks also) shes not a hot chick type but shes sweet. n now they already have a child. i alwiz stalking them (hihi via fb ofc) no need those sweet words to express how they feel towards each other using fb (which can annoy ppl such as me..huhu)

i do - have a long distant relationship.. n dont tell how much difficult it is as ive been thru it for 10 years.. only God knows how it feels..

-statement dari seorg gadis kerdil di bumi ini-

wendu pd bukit broga..

the girl who is...unsure -sigh-

2010-11-20T15:16:00.000+08:00

yesterday..my mom asked that "special" question in my life? -when u will graduate for 2nd time?- n that question really hit me hard! -dush-(feeling beaten up..lol) seriously..me myself didnt have the exact answer.. surely i wanna convo (desperately!) n i will feel upset with myself if i cant make it. i mean after those sweats, tears n etc..etc..of course i wanna be graduate for my master.. it juz...i dont even know.. (denial!)

but what i can say..i will graduate next year..n i will make it inevitable..(lol?) juz hope n pray..n not to forget to finish everythg a.s.a.p... i really have a long list plan for next year..n this wont stop me..(hihi)

the girl who wants to cry no more

2010-11-19T14:24:00.001+08:00

how pathetic.. lol.. (talking bout own self) if u happened to like sumthg in ur life its sooo hard to leave it juz like that. yet it's harder when it comes to love sum1 esp.. i may b an old-fashioned girl (still can consider myself "a girl" ? haha) as i told myself since i can remember that i wud only date sum1 who will become my mate one day. n who will know that right? i pretty certain, even for once in our live, we used to have a sign or signal for ourselves.. like when we 1st time met sum1 special we cud knew if they were meant for us.. or wont they? =p

i used to have a crush with a heartthrob guy( ^_^) -btw my definition of great guy is different from other girls so who cares if he's hot for me n not for others? hihi- im crazy for this guy (b4 i met mr.z obviously...=p) sent him letters (n he replied it tho) but i was wrong.i mean..i like him coz he has similar figures as the one i used to get crush b4 not bcoz i like him as himself. n as the friendship evolves, we get separated in finding our ways.. he met his fiancee n will get marry soon. n im happy for him.(seriously) sumhow i wonder if he ever said the sacred word "ahem" n we didnt compatible for each other, we will break off eventually, right? n what happen to my vow that i want to date my mate only? see..things happened for reasons.. (talk to myself..)

the girl who is depressed..currently

2010-11-18T13:52:00.000+08:00

i can consider myself as emo person.. n i tend to be happy like hell when ppl around me but when im alone..only God knows exactly what i feel inside. n it is sad when sum1 u thought connected with u, mind n soul, did sumthg beyond ur expectations.. i wish i am sleeping beauty who gets to sleep n only wake up when her prince come to save her (LOL) but in fact im not beauty..the title will change to sleeping beast? LOL..

for others, starting a new life may seems so easy..as for me it is tough.. i dont know where to begin..yet i dont know how to end my miserable-current-life.. perhaps the happiness works differently.. do i have to kiss a lot of frogs before i meet my prince? NO. do i have to risk my happiness for sumthg that i foresee the dark ahead? NO. do i have to forget my past n never look back? hell NO.. it may be the tormented past stories i never wanted in my life but its mine. n no one can judge it even myself.

ill be happy now (well im not but im trying)

the girl who happy for her buddies ^^

2010-11-15T17:12:00.001+08:00

this lovely entry is dedicated to my beloved fwens.. so here we go.. -big grin-

mekcah a.k.a bride-2-b

recently ive received a great news from one of my pal n shes about to marry her lovely bf -sweet!- we r not really fren actually (kami hanya kenal gtew2 aje during our degree) but thing turns out to be different when we finally became roomate. sy bkn la jenis yg cerewet org nyer bila 1bilik dgn org lain (coz i alwiz have my own space at home ..lol) but for me there shud be at least a chemistry when u started to share a place with others. n with this girl, there are so many chemistry we'd shared -shocked!- haha..i never thought i cud actually shared everythg with her..(even toiletries..) shes like my sister..(sy kakak n die adk..ekeke) sbb sy sgt garang (dlm sesetgh perkara yg melibatkan kebersihan terutamanye) n she did understand me..

shes a pretty girl inside n outside..shes not the type of girl who will ease u when 1st time u've meet her. she wont please but when u really know her, shes beyond that..n u will know shes actually like an open book. whats on her face thats what shes feel inside..-terutama bila die tbe2 masuk bilik n terdampar dgn budak gemok kesygn nyer..haha-

die xpenah berkira (n mungkin 2 salah 1 sbb die salu kene buli dgn seseorg -_-" ) n etika kami -jgn kedekut dlm makanan -hehe. sbb sikap die yg xkisah n xberkira sy takut gak in case she meet sum1 yg akn buli die dlm hubungan ( sbb sy kakak sy sgt runsingkan hal org lain o.O) but luckily..she met the perfect guy ..n that man is lucky to have her coz shes well-trained about household chores since she was a child..ekekeke-smiling- n i hope it will last until the end of their life..

ms g gim sesame..hihi kunun2 nk kuwus n sihat..

malangnyer mekcah maintain kuwus n sy maintain chubby..nanges!

cik ros a.k.a bride-2-b also ^^

n this girl..she never talk bad about others... she alwiz said bout herself..hihi.. die sgt tegas dlm hubungan nyer -nanges sbb sy xtegas cuma garang- shes a sweet girl who will get married at this tender age of early 20..( sy xtau umo cik ros tp die mude la ddr sy ..nanges lg) die ni bdk praktikal yg menyewa umah sesame dolu.. n ms 2 la ade kejadian xdiingini berlaku (-_-" umah seksyen 1 bbb mmg kwsn xselamat)

time kasih kt tunang cik ros sbb sudi temankan kami sume dgn tdo kt hall selama seminggu (ms 2 takuts sgt2 sal kes org msk umah n curik brg2), dgn kak T (jiran yg prihatin sgt2 -_-") yg salu beri nasehat xputus2 (org senyum pon wat muke toye! -geram-) sume pon kenangan khennn..smoga kekal la ke akhir hayat yer cik ros ^_^ (pas ni kena pggil puan ros la plak)

-blum dpt msk kn gambo dgn cik ros - _- "

cik jeda a.k.a ida

ha ni lg sowg budak yg thn dgn mulut laser i -haha- n like mek cah shes also well-trained future housewife -pakar dlm membuat smbal tempoyak- sy xpenah rs janggal dgn die pon sbb die ni peramah n leh cite mcm2. salu sgt lepak bilik die n baring2 gaye gedix kt bantal smbil die lipat segala jenis pakaian atau mengemas. shes like our lil sis in the house.

-nanges sal lum ade gmbo dgn cik jeda lg..t la kalo dpt jmp kt kuantan..leh hang out sesame.. - in future..hope everythg get smoother between u n your significant one.. lifes hard but we r tougher..

cik sue a.k.a tsisue

pandai da posing cr cahaya..lalala

sy byk gmbo dgn cik sue sal sy salu menyebok nk bergambo gak time die siap2 nk posing..ekekeke..bg sy die ni la gal paling tabah penah sy jmp..die xpenah nk marah2, agak2 kalo da tensen 2 die jerit je dgn gaye pasah sandha..haha.. n sy harap sgt die akan dpt kebahagian die akhirnye. shes a good, warm heart gal n worth to die for -big grin- i pray for ur happiness sue..

demam antm cycle 13 (petite models..lol)

sbbkan cik sue lg kuwus dr sy maka cik sue jd nicole n sy jd laura...ke? hahaha

puan liza a.k.a iron lady (hihi)

waahh..nape sy gelar kwn sy yg sowg ni iron lady? sbb die mmg versatile wat mcm2 dlm 1 ms. n right now shes a wife, student n good worker. phew... shes like my eldest sista. kami da lame kenal 1 same lain. since kindergarden.. n then went to school togetha until form 4 when i pursued my study at Muar. shes mature than i am n she live her life to the fullest. she never like to compare her life with others coz everybody got their own life..

she get married on 2008 after like 7yrs relationship (if im not mistaken) yes..at that time i do feel lost..coz im losing my bestfren to the man that she loves. but then..since i knew her hubby i didnt feel so bad coz i knew he takes a good care of her n loves her more than life itself. -smiling to oneself- i wish they can have their own kids one day coz she'll be the best mom.

during her wedding -she was a beautiful bride i ever seen-

well..as for me.. these girls left their marks in my life.. n i do wish for their happiness n far away from any sadness in their life. they are wonderful..n m hoping the best for them alwiz -smiling-

kepenatan stlh mendaki bukit broga...hihi

motip letak gmbo ni? xde kena mgena dgn entry..lol

write it as u remember it..huhu

2010-10-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

i like to read ppl status n comments in fb.. yeah sum are interesting..some r boring..n sum r annoying..-huhu- n yesh i didnt put any status on my fb -coz i wanna keep it low profile ..lol- but then i didnt-never in my life-..send a msg -via fb- n ask a man -who i barely knew for real- is he already married or not? or send a comment to his status n -without hesitation- self-proclaimed "i am this guy's gf" n wat-so-ever...-wah m in anger that i slammed my keyboard hard..huhu- yesh i m not a girl-next-door who happen to be a perfect gf for any1.. yet m not a damn-hot-drop-dead-gorgeous-angel that everyman wish for..im juz me.. a simple girl n -dont-forget-the-ugly-duckling-part...lol... me n my significant one had discussed n we r happily to keep our relationship for ourselves -means: no romantic comments, or anythg that can make our relationship become public news...-lol!

yesh ... i m "bitchy" sumtimes... in a polite way i could say.. -as he wont support my ~~bitchiness~~ coz all he can say is "its ur fault"..yup hes not the type of guy who will only see his gf kindness,bright side... he alwiz make me analyze my actions, my words.. n make me realize that the world does not revolve around me.. - owh back to the comments thing.. i knew that girl kinda like him..-so what- i do feel bad for her.. but i feel bad to myself 1st - she really has a gut to say that im damn unlucky to be his gf when she doesnt even knew him for real- lol! the truth is ugly, isnt it?

~~-sorry for bitchiness words..huhu-~~

win-win situation? lol

2010-10-11T12:51:00.003+08:00

m happy..u happy..we all happy..-happily ever after? - opps..we're not living in the far far away-fairy tales-land.. nothg is forever -well..i like to use "ephemeral" @_@ - hihi.. whats on 10/10/2010? surely it will "haunted" us, malaysian, for a long time like highland towers tragedy >.< .. a tragic acccident here in Malaysia (the 30th among countries with the highest number of fatal road accidents) there alwiz been an accident there (the place wer the accident happened) however, i often forget about it whenever i drive back-to-back from bangi 2 melaka.. luckily nothg ever happened to me (but who knows later in life >.< ) -take a precaution-

owh ya..its also a day when some of my frens tie a knot -sweet!- juz a speculation..i noticed somewhat we called "friend" or particularly "best-fren-forever..bff" is actually useful when we are single..but when we are married it turns out to be "do-we-used-to-be-frens-coz-it-seems-like-i-dont-even-care-bout-u" lol! n 1 more thing..its-a-must-u-have-2-come-2-my-wedding-if-not-i-wont-come-to-urs-either! wahahaha... -big laugh-btw,,izzit a must when sum1 congrats u for ur marriage n u give them a heart-attack question -an atomic bomb i presume- "when u gonna get married?" izzit a simple question with a certain correct answer or a question which can be answer by kindergarten child? its a big N-0. its a question which no one can answer merely by yes or no.. its also as same question like "when u gonna die?" see...no one can really answer that -cringe!-

sumhow..i do wish i was a child..nothg to worries..(5yrs old child can do as i dont want to study hard for exams...lol!) but then when i look back to myself again.. a bit relieved coz at least a quarter of my life ive spent on learning, studying..n not playing around (n hopefully it really worth -big grin-) yesh my life wasnt a fairy tales.. but sumhow a person i am is a real me ..n my bffs are really a true frens.. (ever 1 of my fren is an artist now -hehehehe- )we will never have to be "plastic" to each other coz we know who we are -relieved-

~~looking back ...shudnt i suppose to finish my thesis rather than update my blog? -_-" sigh..yup..this is me..lol!~~

perhaps.. a lil happiness will be juz fine -_-"

2010-10-08T20:36:00.001+08:00

yesh..do feel tired n annoyed with posts to come..coz sum1 i related to mind n soul is m.i.a -cringe!- i will be ok i know..its juz a matter of times..n i do look towards it. m not a cry baby..nor a-pathetic-dependent-yet-weak-girl-shud-b.. i dont know where my life will leads..(or shud i lead my life..thats the better question..) but sum1 gave a pleasant answer that my life is to be with him eventually ( -heart's smiling-) yesh but its too far for me too reach it now.. as my life is so empty recently n needs sumthg to fill it -sad-

yup i know..i have to settle my "burden" -sigh- if u r not happy doing sumthg u wont be able to put all uve got to it.. n to me.. i feel like i was forced to accept it..to like it..to finish it n yet to submit it..coz every single things that happen really make my heart push it away.. (ofc its my thesis..lol) but ill make it up..n ill submit it..ill do whatever it takes...

heart..plz be brave,,n take the challenge!! lol

behind the smokey eyes

2010-10-07T23:04:00.003+08:00

i heart smokey eyes... its full of mystery n so damn-pretty..hihi.. n yesh until now i still love it.. sumtimes (during my msc studies) my bff's n i went out, n that smokey eyes is a must for me (if i had time...n not lazy to dress-up..hihi) n i do remember 1 of my bffs called it smoking eyes..(hihi..) those were good old days..i missed them.. i had a really bad days now..i mean bad times.. n during these times..its a relieved whenever i have a chance to connect with them even via internet ^_^ n ofc its a good thing if i can connect with the 1 i care the most (but we drifted apart..-sigh- but babe..i will understand ur situation..n ill wait for ya -smile- even u wont read this.-cringe-)

---

well..good thing is ephemeral.. n so with bad ones.. everythg is ephemeral.. its up to us to make it lasts.. -haiysz- sumtimes i do wish certain moments in my life will repeats again n again..but then i wont be able to stand up, facing new things in my life coz i will obviously enjoy those moments.. life is hard but thats the way it has to be..to make us stronger..braver.. -heart smiling-

~~-monolog-...in spite of being jealous..i mish u babe -haiysz-~~

insecure -_-"

2010-10-05T16:57:00.000+08:00

last week was my 2ndary school reunion (b4 i transferred to muar..hehe) what d'ya expect? ofc m not going.. 1 of the reason got sumthg to do ..while other reason..m not brave enuff to x-pose myself..eekeke..(joke!) they all turn out to be sum1 hawt..meanwhile im still an ugly duckling..lol..the only difference is m not going to turn out to be a swan..(haiysz...) i got this irrelevant-instinct from my childhood until now (which i knew it's sooo ridiculous) to be outstanding u have to have a pretty face..which combine perfectly with fair skin n no acne at all.. (yesh i know beauty is in the eyes of beholder...) n as for me..having a tan (wahahaha..if only it is tan.. =p ) skin..face full of pimples here n there..really didnt caught any eyes la..

do i feel so pathetic? life is pain..n we have to go on even we have no life..NO LIFE? i have a life.. n my life is hard..yeah who doesnt? to have the insecurity -feelings of what u r alwiz troubles me.. n feelings of being rejected..in so many times.. well guess luck isnt my way of life..(huhu)

but..deep down..i know.. sumwhere over the rainbow.. theres a perfect place for an ugly duckling ^_^

till then..

droplets..

2010-09-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

no its not raining here.. but currently listening to colbie caillat -droplets. yeah in life we often meet ppl who will leave a mark in our life..our heart. n the hardest part is we cant tell ppl how much we care bout that person when they left us. we cant tell them how much they meant for us or how much we need them in our life..

~~idk if thats the best things i shud do..but im leaving u.know that it hurts me as bad as it hurts u. but i cant continue living like this..~~

sometimes..

2010-09-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

omg..this mean girl is back..ekekekeke..coz its hari raya so slmt hari raya maaf zahir batin. but as human we cant control what will comes from us ..or had came..huhu. n i felt sorry for sum1 who "accidently" got a "gift" from me today...aww..poor lady its u who want it..yet i keep it for u for a really long time.. btw.. actually i am a good girl but this critical situation that i held for my entire lifetime really taught me to be super strong esp when facing that certain "type" of people.. who cares if i didnt get married now? who cares if i keep studying until m grew old? do i ask for their money? BIG N-O! yesh my golden-ultimate target in my life is to get my PHD..n i m hoping to become prof emeritus one day..is that a big prob to u? did i ever bother ur super-pretty-daughter fiancee? did i ever had a glance of ur big-"kapochi"-hubby? i didnt..did i? so i dont understand why u guys keep telling everybody that im like this im like that? hurm..on 2nd thought.. i didnt think m so glamour until u guys keep talking bout me did i?

well..enuff for that unstable-emo post..hihi..know what..i have a list of things i wanna do b4 i settle down with who-ever-that-sum-1-will-b.. n yesh..if god-willing i will done all that b4 im turning 30.. (owh my...i do realised how ~~old~~ matured i am now..lol) still long way to go..n lots of things to do..juz follow the path that lies ahead.. as long as i didnt allow my heart controls my head..

till then..

welcome back..n a denial..

2010-08-11T02:47:00.000+08:00

hihi..m back after so many months.n dont expect so many stories from me as im juz an ordinary girl who leads a simple life tho its fasting month already n hopefully things will get better even best for all of us m a bit sad coz sum1 is leaving me..but i do wish its only a matter of time.. if not..well i do have to keep on moving with or without that person..huh *sigh* in time being i juz pretend that that particular person still with me even we drifted apart..huhu..

its good tho..i lost almost 10kg within 3-4 months n idk what ive been doing..hihi n i do miss my frens esp geng kapak sumbing.. this fasting month sure reminded me of the time we broke the fast together..aww..so many memories tho.. i do wanna experience it all..but the sweetest things only..those that involved dramas, heart feelings..sorry..no-can-do..

hope to have a chance to blog again.. n do miss sum1.. again..slmt berpose sume ^^

~no matter~

healing..

2010-03-30T11:07:00.000+08:00

=) after a while.. sy kembali ke blk n tgk pokok bunga hiasan sy udah nazak..sume daun2 nye telah mati kecuali ade 3 helai daun yg agak parah tp masih hijau.. hurm..proses buang daun2 mati telah sy lakukan smlm smase ujan lebat (~~ati sy pun sedang hujan semalam..nanges!~~) skrg ni pokok yg mempunyai pasu kecik yg berwarna pink sedang mengalami proses penyembuhan... hrp2 sgt ia akan segar smula.. =)

hihi..owh yer.. earlier this month was our anniversary (me n my bintang hati a.k.a mr.z ) hihi..wishing us another 9 years together...n another 9 years..n another till death do us part.. =) well..my plan xjd nk wat surprise..nway.. still happy bout it.. =)

till then..

chill!

xpunya sape..

2010-02-09T17:31:00.000+08:00

sy hanya mampu bertabah.. smoga sume ini menjadikan sy lebih matang n berhati2 dlm kehidupan.. sy xsalahkan sesiapa hny diri sdiri.. glad even my heart bleed terribly, i still can wipe my tears n smile! ~~deep down inside me i know my heart actually broken into million pieces at any single words that he possibly accused!~~ tp xpela.. sesape pon leh ckp pe je yg mereka inginkan.. human rights kan.. sape la sy utk tentukan ape yg harus diperkatakan oleh org lain.

sok sy ade intebiu stage 3 SD. yup..i'm driving all the way 2 subang..alone! (huhu...yup it's soo lame to others but for me..sy xpnah drive ke sana sblm ni maka ye..ni ade la ujian terbesar wat sy utk drive bersendirian, TIDAK SESAT, n perlu smpi seawal 8.15 ke destinasi yg jln nye mmg popular dgn JEM! ) puas la cik sue n hisam dok terangkan jln pd sy...terima kasih kamu ber2! hopefully this time sy fokus n xsesat.. =)

wish me luck!! =)

my life is sooo not a fairy tale..

2010-02-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end"

no...definitely not b4 the "day" plz... kalo sesuatu yg teruk nk berlaku tlg la after the "day" (at least i could accept it a bit..huh! sigh) yup..it's totally my fault.. ye sy xberhati mulia spt die.. n i admit it he's way better than me in everythg.. n there was me who excitedly thinking various ways to entertain him on our special day.. but now everthg seems to collapse right in front of my eyes.. sy tau die amat marah skrg ni.. the way i'm keeping sumthg from him..the unknown action i'd done..tahla..sy rs sgt2 la bersalah tp sy tau kalo skrg sy minta maaf pon die xkn lyn.. sbb sy mmg bersalah sgt2... this could last a week...two or three weeks worst! (by the time it's already our day! =(...)

padan la muke sy ni kan.. sedey la.. kind of mish his jokes, smile...n everythg bout him...mungkinkah sy hanya mampu mengenangnye di masa hadapan? (harap sgt tidak!) yes he could be the sweetest man on earth when he's happy but currently he's not in a mood..(sigh!) mr. z.. sy syg bangat sama kamu.. =( juz hope n pray everthg will be better soonish! ~~kind of weird when he's not being himself..nanges!~~

mode: jiwe kacau + rs bersalah sgt2 (-_-")

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

sy tau sy salah...sy minta maaf sgt2.. (-_-)

layanz..

2010-02-03T16:06:00.004+08:00

best! 2 thumbs up!

=) hehe..sy da stay kt kolej skrg ni.. life? so far ok la..happier than b4..n lebih selesa skrg.. heart? hurm.. i'm juz a normal human being..there's up n down tp sy mls la nk pk2 da.. biarlah kan.. ade adelah.. xde xpaksa.. owh yer.. sy sgt berdebar menantikan mggu hadapan.. 1st n 2nd stage of SD's interview sy da pass! (alhamdulillah! the verbal ques was tough tho~) haha...xla susah kot bg org yg excel tp bg sy agak susah la sbb ade ms sy mmg mls membace..hehe.. utk stage yg seterusnye ni sy sgt takuts! (owh yer inilah gak nyer perasaan peserta american idols..hoho) pape pon sy harus wat bersungguh2 sbb ni mungkin ditakdirkan utk sy (setelah sekian lame tanam anggur ke?nanges ckit!)

seseorg sudah mula menyemak FB sy! O.M.G! tp sy xtau nape sy cm rileks jer..haha.. sy xwat pape kesalahan knp perlu sy rs gabra...ye x? tahla..sy cm da mati perasaan je.. (heartless perhaps?) sy nk tumpukan perhatian pd diri sy je skrg ni.. skt nyer ati sy skrg bile tiap2 ari ade je yg xkena.. (ye sy tau umur sy da lanjut (nanges sgt!) sy masih bujang ( dan comel?) tp xperlu la ade je soklan panas dr makcik2 kg sy..) sbb 2 la sy mls nk bergaul dgn org yg seusia mak sy sbb pemikiran ortodoks terhadap perkahwinan masih lagi menguasai minda mereka...(ecececeh!) mujur my parents x begitu ( relieved!) c'mon la ppl..lum kawin bkn bermakne xberjaye dlm hdup!! ishh.. sy ade gak smpn hasrat utk jg anak angkt bila hidup da stabil t..(sy teringin la nk amek ank jepon or korea.. t da beso dorg leh ajar sy bhs ibunda mereka =p sesuatu!)

hari ni sudah byk makan...harus berjog la ri ni..setelah seminggu sy menternak bdn!! meraung!

if...i.. were...

2010-01-20T17:41:00.000+08:00

mode: jiwe parah tp tetap mantain santek...(ke?)

smbil menekan2 pp sdiri sy mula menaip post kali ni..hurm..pp masih kembung walau da bersenam bagai..tp xpela.. mungkin niat utk kurus pd mulanye dgn berjog xkn menjadi..kini sy jd kan jogging sbgi hobi (hurm...sgt la bagus kan smbil sihatkn bdn, kuarkan peluh.. dpt gak sy release tension sy..=D ) jiwe sy thp parah ri ni.. sy xfhm org yg xnk fhm sy..alih2 sy makin xfhm sbb org itew xnk fhm sy langsung... kdg sy fikir kalo sy salah, sy minta maaf n everythg will be okay eventually.. if i ever get upset for certain things i will be out of my mind for at least 1-2 mins or 30mins tough! after that i'll be at the best that i can be.. but that guy will never understand this weird-complex creature named me! i do wonder if he ever "like" me the way he alwiz told me.

deep down inside me i knew that even though he's the best guy i ever met until now (best ke? maybe not the BEST-est kot...haha..ayat!) he only n will only be my best significant one.. not my bestfriend at all.. he would never knew how i felt or needed.. he'll never be my BFF ever.. (so i cant never sing the song called "Lucky-jason mraz " as i'm not that lucky to fall in love with my best buddy...hurm..) tahla.. why cant i meet sum1 else? haha.. mungkin gak sy da bosan kot hdup begini...sy ingin sesuatu yg menarik dlm hidup sy.. sy nk cabaran, sentiasa berdepan dgn pelbagai perkara menarik.. ~~--kalo die bukan tercipta utk sy..sy rela lepaskan die dr rantaian sy--~~

mode: ok da... <3

bykkn bersabar yer hati.. tlg la bersabar n sibukkan diri sdiri.. ~~(sy seorg yg nmpk sgt tabah tp sbnrnye...fragile inside...nanges!)~~

linger..

2010-01-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

/hihi

sempena thn br ni sy telah pon lancarkan kempen utk mencapai azam sy thn ini... yer n sy berjaya membuat larian paling minima 3pusingan padang bola sepak n sit up sebyk 50x!! hikhik 1 kejayaan bg sy yg sgt la lemah semangat utk habiskan waima 1pusingan pon! i know it may sound soooo lame for sum ppl who can actually work out more than that but i dont give up! i know myself n i know my limits so...i really dont give a damn.. adela skali dlm 2mggu ni me n my buddies went to a gym.. n it wasss soooo exciting..

sumthg keep lingering in my head right now.. have u ever felt like the thing u keep holding back wasnt yours at all? i mean like..if it were not meant 4 u it wont be yours no matter how long u keep it...for real? sy xtau.. ade masa sy rs die bkn la utk sy tp sy masih lagi bertahan smpi skrg.. ade ketika sy rs sy xnk n xkn melepaskan die pergi.. tp skrg sy rs xpela..kalo hatinya bkn utk sy, sy relakan pemergiannya.. sy hanya berserah pada Tuhan sbb sy tahu hanya Dia yang menentukan segala2nya n Dia jugakla yg tahu apa yg baik utk sy.. sy xde mslh dgn dia cume sy rs waktu ini sy nak lebih menghargai diri sdiri. sy nk rs hdp tanpa die utk seketika n sy yakin sy xkn ada mslh utk itu. i know i'll not be completely live without him but surely less in involving his name or action or whatever that has any connection with him. FULLSTOP! sy bkn la sorg wanita yg ske propa my personal life in public.. 2 declare my relationship, put some romantic pics together, not even comments or anythg in public.. (sumtimes in my daily communications i hardly mention his name..) but that's me.. i have no offense for those who like 2 share it all.. (kalo kategori artis 2 sy ni dlm grup yg sorok2 status la kirenyer..haha) /wahaha

ok back 2 normal..have 2 prepare 4 tomorrow! hurm...wish me luck.. n i really hope 4 this one!!/please

/bye

mengingatkan diri sdiri n rakan2

2010-01-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

Kita selalu Bertanya....................dan Al-Quran sudah menjawabnya.................

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU DIUJI?
QURAN MENJAWAB :"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," ("I am full of faith to Allah") sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta."
-Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesua tu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya."
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA RASA FRUST?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman."
- Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah (be fearfull of Allah The Almighty) kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan)."

KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk"
- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45

KITA BERTANYA : APA YANG AKU DAPAT DRPD SEMUA INI?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari org2 mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga utk mereka... ?
- Surah At-Taubah ayat 111

KITA BERTANYA : KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP?
QURAN MENJAWAB : "Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal."
- Surah At-Taubah ayat 129

KITA BERKATA : AKU TAK DAPAT TAHAN!!!
QURAN MENJAWAB : "... ..dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir."
- Surah Yusuf ayat 12

kalut!

2010-01-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

~~mode: jiwang + jiwe kaco bilau seketika..~~

yeay! da new year! knp sy mesti gembira walhal umur sy bertambah setahun lg? tahla..yg penting sy mls nk pk hal2 yg menyakitkan ati n kepala sy.. sy xmenjanjikan diri sdiri ape2 thn ni (walaupun azam utk kurus ttp bersemadi..hihi...nanges!) apatah lg untuk mr.z yg ade plan bsr 2010 ni (katanyer...) sy cuma harapkan thn ni sy xjmp da sape2 yg menyakitkan ati sy or ske amek kesempatan ke atas insan lemah lg..(ayat!) thn br ni sy celebrate dgn mr.z cm thn pas gak..beza nye permulaan thn ni hbgn kami agak berkembang.. (apart from my body saiz...ngehngeh!) in spite of 8 years being together..thn ni da nk msk ke 9.. ank sedara mr.z pun da msk darjah 3 yg usia nyer same dgn hbgn kami.. n sy xbenarkan ank2 sedara mr.z pggl sy mak cu (as he's pakcu =p) agak cliche la bg sy..pe kt pggl aunty ana jer..or xpun cikna.. (hihi...sy sgt pasan yg sy msh lg 18 thn!)

~~mode: semangat waja~~

hoho..baekla ptg ni sy akan try jlnkn misi bersenam dgn penuh dedikasi.. (owh yer...sy sudah bertambah berat! cm nangka adanye =p) makne azam thn lepas xtercapai.. hurm.. tp thn ni sy akan pastikan ia tercapai dgn penuh bergaye.. hoho..nanges! sy telah 2 ari menghindari nasik.. harusla berusaha menghindari selama yg mungkin...(cabaran sabtu ni ada majelis kawen ank en saad...aduh...!) sy ade beli bj inspirasi pd new year ri 2.. saiz agak kecil wak2 ini..tp azam sy by 2nd month sy da boleh memakainyer.. (mate bersinar2) harap sgt..

~~=( sy agak sedey hari2 awal thn br ni.. walaupun ade mr. z d cc.. mungkin kalo kaki sy bkn saiz 7 sy mungkin akn lebih gmbire? nanges...~~

** saiz 7 adelah simbolik sy pd sesuatu! (sendu!)

new year..new resolution?

2009-12-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

tomorrow will be the last day of 2009.. hopefully new year will bring a lot of joys for us..n yang paling utama biarla keberkatan menjadi pedoman hidup..waima dalam melakukan pe pun..

regards,
a.l

ujan, payung dan seseorg itew..

2009-12-29T15:33:00.000+08:00

sy selalu mengharapkan seseorg memayungi sy tatkala ujan lebat.. hurm..yer sy sebenarnya boleh memayungi diri sendiri tapi sgt malas melakukannya bila seseorg itew berada berdekatan. tapi satu ketika waktu ujan renyai seseorg itew terlupa membawa payung utk sy n dia terlupa sebenarnya sy sedang kehujanan. sy menunggu begitu lama tp die ttp xmuncul2. sy sgt sedey sbb sy sgt mengharapkan kehadiran seseorg itew di waktu sy kehujanan. sy harap sgt jika die terlupa membawa payung utk sy sekurg2nye die akan dtg dan berjln bersame2 meredah ujan.. tp die ttp xdtg..

yer..ujan itew xlebat..tp jika meredahnya tanpa payung atau baju ujan sy tetap akan basah bila smpi di umah.. bila seseorg itew tidak dtg, selepas seketika sy menunggu sy mula jalan perlahan2..smbil memandang ke belakang dgn kerap dgn harapan seseorg itew muncul..(with a warmth smile perhaps!) tp tiapkali jua sy hampa bila die tiada.. jd sy berhenti memandang ke belakang n mula langkah dgn sedikit laju.. di setiap langkah minda sy mulai berfikir dgn logik n waras.. alangkah baiknya jika ketika itu sy mempunyai payung sdiri..sy pasti xkan kebasahan, n mungkin esok sy xkn selsema. jika sy xmengharap payung seseorg sy mungkin xpatah hati bila seseorg itew terlupa memayungi sy.. n jika sy xtunggu seseorg itew mungkin ketika ini sy telah pun smpi dgn selesa di umah.. ye..sy sedar sy membazir ms menunggu seseorg itew tp itu telah pun sy lakukan n sy xkan dpt putarkan ms yg telah terbazir selama sy menunggu.. tp sy xmenyesal sbb sy xmungkin dpt menunggu seseorg yg lain utk memayungi sbb sy penat utk memilih payung lain (walaupun coraknyer comel n berkaler purple...ke?)

smpi di umah sy telah pun membuat keputusan yg sy xkan lg mengharapkan seseorg itew dtg memayungi sy xkira la cuaca ape pun.. sy harus membawa payung sdiri utk kesenangan sy jua.. di kala ati sy telah ttp pendirian sebegitu seseorg itew telah memberikan payungnya n berharap walaupun die terlupa atau sgaje lupa .. payung nya dpt sy gunakan waktu sy ujan atau panas.. hurm.. sy telah konpius dgn pendirian sy n kebaikan seseorg itew memberikan payungnyer..

::ever after??::

2009-12-23T12:06:00.002+08:00

/hihi

it's quite raining lately.. n here too in my tiny little heart. but the rain was totally different from the real world. sometimes it's raining heavily but sometimes it's cloudy but never the shine.. apparently i'm could see the sparkle of light.. since i'd give up hope i feel much better in life we always wanted the best for us doesnt matter if we worth it or not. the important thing is we MUST been better than anyone around us then we could be proud of what we had achieved.

it's like a big tree which grew taller everyday and prevent the light from other trees. the tree must be tall enough to produce a lot of fruit and be the one which could expose itself. but the tree often forgot those small plants which grew slowly under it's shadow are alive too and hardly survive on the ground. but who cares? my life's is crucial than anybody else and cant everybody see that the one who lead the hard life is me, the big tree? i need ppl to water me, give me damn good fertilizer n take a gud care of me.. owh big tree..yes u r the one who everyone keep talking about, the goddess tree of all..u provide shelter to ppl and give them delicious food for them.. n no one cant deny it..

but for me.. it doesnt matter if i'm not the big tree n i prefer to be the small creeping plant that survives on my own feet. n i'm proud of it even my life's little harsh right now but it's ok..that's what makes me a human being. owh about my cloudy conscious.. well it's about to shine again slowly but surely.. time will heals n need a lot of determination too.. /please

/bye

cik single yang kiut miut /blush

utk diri sendiri (^_^)

2009-12-10T10:46:00.001+08:00

/hihi

it's been 2 days now i came early to lab and tried to finish my writing .. due to my new resolution perhaps..haha.. well..i decided not to have any holidays as i HAVE to finish this precious thesis b4 new year.. i dont know about other ppl but 4 me it's a must!! (sgt bertegas dlm hal ini ) besides, i didnt have any plan to entertain myself..apart from attending numbers of wedding n engagement ceremony (hikhik..it's a ceremony as long as there are lots of food..yeay! ) n team bachelor-bachelorette pun ade plan pas new year.. makna bulan ni bulan bekoje la kan

k la..ckit je nk merapu..sbb nk siapkan keje n hopefully can go back b4 5pm..sbb xnk jem kt hway t.. hway pon jem kan..hazab!

/bye

Cik Single yang kiut miut

all's well, end well..ke?

2009-12-03T10:59:00.005+08:00

/hihi i watched New Moon yesterday! yeay! n the movie was totally awesome! n cant wait 2 see another twilight movies. n i admit that when i 1st read new moon novel..i was like soooooo unsatisfied with jacob..( i was alwiz on Edward Cullen's side..hikhik..) but then when i watched the movie, i kinda like how sweet he was, stayed with Bella thru her broken-hearted phase.. (n Edward looked so awkward with messy style --> on 2nd thought cm drug addict je aku tgk.. /hmm sal lak ms 1st muvee die sgt la ensem) i juz loooveee the movie n dont care what ppl might say bout it.. i like the sounds of those gorgeous werewolf, the desperate-broke-up between Ed n Bell (n when they're reunite /blush absolutely -cant forget those beautiful red eyes of Jane a.k.a Dakota), sooo into Bell when she did cliff-jumping (that's so amazing /blur ) n the sweet Alice who really walk gracefully..(in spite of she's the shortest in the family /nobigdeal - she's still the cutest 1..hikhik.. so now u know who i like the most in Cullen's family /wahaha)

opps...i almost forgot to start modify my thesis..n mind u my SV had already asked for it about 2,3 weeks ago../sweat n this morning got another email from her that remind me to submit the results A.S.A.P /no.. I'm so in trouble when i didnt proceed my task but keep blogging as the excitement of watching New Moon really get me an adrenalin rush /wahaha.. k la.. till i have another ideas ~ chau!

/bye

Cik Single yg kiut miut /blush

uncertainty

2009-12-01T11:27:00.006+08:00

/hihi it's 1st dec 2009.. n previous years back..at this particular tender time..all i would do is get my diary n re-read it back (juz cant wait till new year 2 read it la kan =p) but not this year...writing my life in a beautiful book so-called diary seems like a history. but i do keep my old diaries from upper 2ndary school when i was @ mrsm muar which was like what..2-3 years ago (huh..sigh! what can i say i'm still stuck in my 18-year-old mind n soul =p) as i'm the one who tend to forget things that happened to me so i find it hard to remember what i felt at the exact time..haha..maybe that's one gud reason why i stop writing in my diary.. but next year resolution maybe.. MAYBE i'll write it back but who knows there might be another gud reason 4 me to not make the resolution comes true../wahaha

xde pe la yg menarik sgt bg cik single kot thn ni..juz perasaan berkobar2 utk abeskan master n masuk ke alam lain..(bukan alam barzakh la.. /sweat..tp ne la tau kan..:-s) disbbkan semangat yg berkobar2 2la cik single sedang menyiapkan tesis cik single ni yg da hmpir2 jd projek gajah putih dulu :D tp seperti bese la ttp nan ado /hmm hajat di hati nk la bercoti lame b4 new year (sbb puan SV akn blk ke msia bulan jan t /floor ) sbb 2 nk cpt2 tulis tesis..hikhik.. byk sgt plan next year tau termasukla nk traveling ke pulau2 berhampiran..mungkin ms itew cik single ni akan ditemani dgn dslr yg sgt2 cik single berkenan di hati /blush.. mungkinkah hasrat cik single ni akn tercapai? same2 la kite nnt kan yer..:))

okies la..gtg 1st..nk taip tesis lak ni..wis me lak yer..

/bye
Cik single yg kiut miut /blush

2 kinds of men

2009-11-16T11:36:00.002+08:00

hye! it's morning n a cold 1 especially with the combination of raining n well-operated air-cond..hikhik.. i was driving from my hometown this morning when i was "meet-up" by 2 kinds of men.. yup..the heart-cold 1 n the sweetest 1..(^_^) as i was driving thru seremban r & r in 2nd lane suddenly there was a "wira" MA* 9985 came juz beside me about a few inches with a high speed..i was so shock luckily i managed to remain calm so that i didnt lose control of my car n terbabas on the other lane..huh! relieved..that was a close one.. n that guy..juz as rude n reckless he was..juz smiling! maybe he'll be glade if i get crash n gambling my life out there on the road..

then..i'd continue my journey with a good heart rate.. with a speed of 90-95km/j..(in spite of 120-140kmj i'd usuallly do =p hey! who doesnt at the highway!) left for bangi sign n i noticed there was a honda JLE 141 n the driver is a man (with a woman beside) i gave that car a way as he seemed 2 hurry..n he waved me after that about 2,3 times.. n i smiled..=) (well..i didnt dare 2 wave back as i thought maybe he wasnt wave at me) haha..isnt that sweet? haha..i dont know whether he's young or old..but as long as u're good 2 anybody.. u r beautiful..=)

::jaket biru::

2009-10-22T12:35:00.000+08:00

i have a jacket..it's blue n made of jeans..n i used to wear it in my lab whenever i felt so itchy cold..it was a gift from sum1 that damn special to me..n still.. lately..ever since i'd transfer to another place (still @ inbio) i didnt wear it anymore.. not even touch it as it's kinda warm here.. until today..suddenly i felt so so cold.. n i grabbed the jacket n wore it.. n for a moment my hand trembling..(exception to my thyroid problem) feels like i'm facing with my old-love-story again.. n right now sumthg keep wandering in my head.. it's like sumthg we thought we could never live without..we put a lot of trust, hope..to ensure that precious still ours..but as the time goes by.. eventually we know..we actually can live with or without that particular thing.. it's just a matter of could we or couldnt stand up for our own sake..

n as for me..i knew how much i like my blue jeans jacket..n sumtimes i need it to when i cant stand the cold..but in another time i dont need it.. sumtimes what i need is..myself

pak gad terlampau..

2009-10-14T11:38:00.000+08:00

sowi ppl..lately xde gmbo menarik utk post aku.. well..this week adelah 1 hari yg bg aku evertyhing went wrong..n lately kt U** ni mcm2 la undang2 br diperkenalkan.. tp byk2 aku xthn sal sticker yg wajib dibeli tp bile g kaunter nk beli katanye mggu dpn br amek. da mcm mane? kalo cm2 baek LEPAS ade sticker br la adekan sekatan ke, saman ke, clamp ke..pe ke.. mcm alasan je nk saman2 ni bile xde sticker..

lagi satu sal sistem park n ride yg pada asalnyer..SEMUA WRGA U** patut tgglkan keta kt luo pas2 amek bas g la ner2 yg disukai..tp sebaliknye...STUDENT yg kene..ala,,aku rs sbnrnyer tujuan 2 utk bg parking utk staff.. kalo cenggitu aku rs baek tulis rules yg STUDENT TIDAK DIBENARKAN BAWA KENDERAAN BERMOTOR.. bio sume naek beskal je..kan senang..hahahaha

seruan hatiku..(ecececeh..jiwang lak =p)

2009-10-12T16:51:00.001+08:00

Hanya padamu...
Diri ini hanya milikmu
Datanglah dekat
Air mataku mengalir
Mengharapkan mu

Hanya padamu...
Dan jiwaku padamu
Wahai kasihku usia kita,usiaku
Seluruh hidupku untukmu

Cintamu adalah hayatku
Dirimu buat kita bercinta sebenar2 cinta
Hatiku disini, keindahanmu millikku
Jadi bersatu

Hatiku memanggil
Harapkan engkau sentiasa kekal
Hanya dirimu
Selepas bertahun lihatlah sayang
Kita berjumpa di sini dan bersama
Airmataku mengalir keranamu
Engkaulah kekasih, hidupku hanya untukmu
Seluruh hidupku, usiaku..
Kerna matamu, aku serahkan segalanya

Apa yang daku harapkan
Indahnya kau disisi bersamaku selamanya
Katakanlah kepadaku..
Diri ini..sekian lama mengharapkan
Hati ini, perasaan ini
Bersama hati dan perasaanmu

(credit 2 De' InFoMiC oF ELAKSAMANA)

hihi..layout yg santek..ske la kt blog terbaru ni..blog yg lame bakal aku delete xlame lagi.. lagu seruan hatiku 2 akceli dlm bahasa arab..but then aku dgr cm best la plak kn..ni sume cik Z yg ajar aku dgr lagu2 pak arab ni..k la..ade final report yg perlu aku setel kan dlm minggu ni..pas2 another 1 manuscript to be write..hopefully all this hustle n hectic life i'll get thru

::bersawang::

2009-10-02T21:38:00.000+08:00

humaih..agak bersawang ckit blog aku ni..lama gak xupdate.. ekceli byk jer nk crita but then mls nk menaip..maen fesbuk lg sonok.. nothing much 2 write..juz want 2 inform that i'd finally found my happiness n yet it will leads 2 my destination eventually (sorry guys..it's not about work..still looking 4 it) i'll story later about that happines..till then..chill!!

chubBlicious｡◕‿◕｡

Momok datang lagi

Mungkin?

Trauma...

Rindu..sila pergi jauh-jauh

Chenta ati saya ^_^

Ni da tak ingat da. Rasa macam tak minat sape-sape. Mungkin sebab terlalu focus kat study ~ hahaha..poyo~

Domestic violence

Deactivate

1st dec 2011

Bitter

lil' wish

it will rain..surely

that woman

One woman loves you. That woman loves you wholeheartedly.She follows you around like a shadow everyday,That woman is laughing and crying.

Until the time is through

Quick Fever

Day Ten : 10 final words

Day Nine : 10 ways to win your heart

Day Eight : 10 of your favourite songs

Day Seven : 10 important people

Day Six : 10 items you can't live without

Day Five : 10 wishes

Day Four : 10 things you want to say to one person

Day Three : 10 things you hate

Day Two : 10 things you love

Day One : 10 things about you

lagi-lagi cabaran

Cereka-ceriki...haissshhh

Aging and Pride

F.a.i.t.h

30 hari mencari chenta

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

Day 5 – How important you think education is?

Day 4 -favorite photograph of your best friend

Day 3 -perfect first date

Day 2 - Favourite movie

day 1-favourite song

mine not urs

thou shalt dream

meroyan lagi

Semalam

Hari ini

jatuh chenta..ati berdarah

just for fun

cita-cita setinggi langit

meroyan

rutin

abdominal colic

kisah Jun 2011

bukan cikgu bahasa inggeris

newest!

walls

and i thought i was going to forget u...

ari ni nyer kesah

sepetang di pelabuhan

warkah berlagu pilu

cemburu bertempat

wishing on someone's star..

(◕‿◕✿)

today was a fairytale

wishing on stars

mom

Join #ChurpChurp today and bring more friends to the community!

test market..

a-happy-lunch-meal..taddaaaa...

women best friend

angkara tart telur...nanges!

ke ~lemau~an

new look..again..yippie!

~after rain~

maaf..sy xsanggup..huhu

welcoming a new life

the girl who said..I DOnt..

the girl who is...unsure -sigh-

the girl who wants to cry no more

the girl who is depressed..currently

the girl who happy for her buddies ^^

write it as u remember it..huhu

One woman loves you.
That woman loves you wholeheartedly.
She follows you around like a shadow everyday,
That woman is laughing and crying.